Date: April 30, 2018 03:18AM
Hello this is adam and i wanted to test this board before writing a little more. My story is a very long one and a brutal one because i was born in the church under the most controlling and narcissistic man you could have ever imagine. I don't even remember the last time was that i felt like myself and i wasn't being forced too do things by my father and if i didn't want to do what my father wanted he would get very angry with me. I remember always going to tons of different church sites throughout my life and temple open houses. My father was and is totally obsessed with the religion. Krep in mind i had no clue what went on in the temple until i was about 31 or 32. So for most of my life i was totally clueless to what was happening around me. A very naive person, they kept those secrets well before the internet came about. So i was very shocked to say the least of when i finally saw what was going on in the temple. I knew i had to leave the religion but it is very hard to leave without professional help from a cult. After a certain amount of time you are completely brainwashed and that takes a lot of time to deprogram from. Anyways after i figured out what went on in the temple i decided that there was no way this was from god. This was my beginning point for actually exiting. I could feel the snare i was caught in. I knew it would be a hard road out but i had to try. I got a couple non-lds counselors in place and a PA for meds to help me cope as i deprogrammed back to something normal. I would say i am still in recovery and healing. I officially resigned about 3 months ago. Life is still difficult but i am not under all that religious pressure and stress on top of me. So it is better i would say over all. Trying to become independant in all i do has been interesting and feeling more like a normal person like i used to feel has been pretty cool. I had been so used to being suppressed and controlled for most of my life that it is quite a drastic change to try to think for myself. Anyways, i am sure i will have more to say in the future and hopefully i will feel like a completely normal person in the near future. In that religion you have no idea that you are not normal and that your communication skills are terrible until you try to live in the real world. It's a shock really to realize how dysfunctional that religion made you. Anyways thanks for reading.