Congrats! I came out as an unbeliever to my bishop almost a year ago. He's wanted to have followup discussions since, but I've refused. He's a great guy--seriously one of the nicest people I've ever met--and it felt good to know that he knew the truth about me. I also think that because of that conversation, he wasn't as shocked when we all stopped going to church a couple of months ago.
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Our ward has the opposite problem (sucks for us with only sons). The YW do ALL kinds of fun stuff and the YM's stuff is boring as hell. My kids have NEVER wanted to go (except for that time YM's pres had a car they were working on or the time they went shooting. Only fun things in 5 years). Every week it's either working on some wretchedly boring merit badge or else playing basketball. Since our
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Here's an interesting tidbit. Did you know that you are now able to get copies of your deceased relatives PBs? Which, I personally DON'T agree with at ALL. I don't want some random posterity to see all the ways I failed in this life--because clearly I am NOT doing all the things stated in my blessing. BTW, my bro and I got our blessings from the same patriarch a couple of years apart and are pret
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TBM mother and MIL do this. I also notice that when I try to talk, that's when MIL gets distracted by what the dog or one of the grandkids is doing. That's when I'll say something totally random just to prove she's not listening at all. My mom goes through a checklist at the beginning of each conversation: : "So how are the kids doing?"...."Uh-huh"..."Uh huh"
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I understand your frustration. It's lack of boundaries. Not everyone needs or wants people to be all up in their business--especially when they are home with a new baby. I would politely let them and the RS president know that that you are fine and would like some quiet, undisturbed, no-visitors time to bond with your baby, and then promise that YOU'LL let THEM know when you're ready for more. Th
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This would NOT surprise me at all. While it might not be a churchwide practice, it is very possible that this bishop or this stake has some type of "extra special" program of testing the waters with inactives to see how far gone they are. What I don't get is why they targeted you, since your family officially resigned. Very weird. I'm guessing that you as a visitee were never supposed t
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Interesting and very bizarre stuff. Reading about people presenting themselves at the veil for slitting makes me think of something my mother said years ago regarding the anti film "The Godmakers." I remember her scoffing at the accusations that people were naked or in their underwear in the temple ceremony, and saying, "That's so ridiculous. That's not what happens at all." O
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First, we haven't resigned yet because of extended family--I know many of you are in similar situations. We've had several requests for EQ or bishopric visits here, for us to come see the bishop, to go to lunch with the bishop, etc, and we've always just politely declined. Excuses used: Sorry we're busy No thanks, we'd rather not at this time Thanks for thinking of us, but we can't now.
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Anagrammy, I love you and have appreciated all the good advice you've given me over the last several months. I do not think you said anything too harsh in your email, but I agree with what everyone else has said...your daughters response is reflecting her own feelings about how she perceives you. Whether she thinks you're always on her case, or always siding with her brother, or whatever, it c
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How did his parents take it? Did they seem comforted? Because, really, in that situation, that's the most important thing. However, from a Mormon doctrine perspective, isn't what he said wrong? I know they have funerals for stillborn children, but I was under the impression that only babies who took a breath (i.e. were alive however briefly) were "done with their time on earth." I thoug
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The idea that there was something that could potentially cure his gayness kept my BIL in a state of constant self-loathing for years. The fasting, the praying, the abstaining, the moving in with his grandparents in Provo so that he could find more spiritual support. Guess what he found instead? A thriving gay community in SLC and the realization that no amount of effort was going to make him stra
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OMG, this is hilarious!! I'm gonna have to give it some thought...
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I guess for me, it depends on the reasons behind the testimony bearing. If it is some condescending TBM sharing it during a love bomb, it just makes me want to roll my eyes. It feels so manipulative and phony to me. If it is someone I know genuinely cares about me, then I feel guilty knowing how much they hope their words will make a difference, and how much I know they won't. Sometimes I'm
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I would say that PBs become self-fulfilling prophesies. While the basic, general, good advice is obvious and will turn out well for the average person, the more specific things like "you'll be a bishop" are things that people will work towards. God says you're going to be a bishop, so you try to live your life worthy to be a bishop, SP notices how worthy you are and thinks you'd be a go
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Can't Resist makes a good point. You can "fight" more effectively from the inside. And don't worry, you're NOT going to get sucked in. Honestly, it will probably make your skin crawl just being in the building. For me, the hymns were the only enjoyable part. I'd feel okay during them, and then someone would start speaking...ugh. If you are honest about your intentions at church (bei
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It doesn't make you a judgmental ass, it makes you incredibly discerning for your age. That's a great thing to be, and it will be a huge benefit to you throughout your life. It's always better to think things through :)
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Love this! The underground railroad is a perfect analogy for what we have here. You're so right--people need a place where they can express their concerns and find people who understand. For the longest time DH thought he was alone in how he felt, that our situation was SOOOO different from what everyone else was experiencing in TSCC, and that it must be some problem with his own perception. Ever
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Hell no! They follow the directive in D&C 4--the work of god won't be stopped for any reason--they'll just lie or go underground with it, because, after all, the laws of god supersede the laws of man. Plus, they're convinced that they're doing something vital for people, that it's what god wants. How can they NOT?? I wish more people would sue the church over it, though. At the very least, th
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Yep, I had two brothers who were coerced by their bishops into giving money to Prop 8 (separate wards and stakes). Both felt uncomfortable about it--mainly because I'd been so vocal about how wrong Prop 8 was and the fact that I support gay marriage. However, both ended up caving when their bishops told them that sustaining and following the prophet was part of their covenants--basically implying
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I know what you're saying. I've only had a Facebook account for a little over a year, and very early on, I realized I was going to have a problem with my worlds colliding. Much of my immediate and extended family are TBM. My gay BIL and I are exmos. He no longer worries about filtering his posts--figuring they can just defriend him if they can't handle it. I, on the other hand, wasn't prepared to
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The biggest red flag of the BoM to me (before I knew about DNA problems and such) is the fact that the entire story is a classic Divine Providence tale. During JS's time, there was a huge religious movement known as the Second Great Awakening. One of the big views was the idea of providence--that you tried to look for some sign of your favor with god. The more you appeared to be blessed, the more
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Thanks you guys, you have no idea how much you all have helped DH and me. When DH first started questioning, he found RfM and was quite the lurker for a while. He even posted a few times, but can't remember what his board name used to be. He showed me a few particularly funny threads back in the day. One referred some GA as "the lawd's master sheep herder" and made fun of how all the &q
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Thanks, Cheryl! I've really appreciated your thought-provoking posts and responses since I joined the board. I can always relate to what you say... And, grubbygert, I've always like yours as well. I totally know what you're saying about perfect posts sinking into page 2 oblivion. I had one that I particularly liked, but was getting no response, so I commented on it myself a couple of times jus
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Thanks! I think you're right...that you have to keep telling your story until it holds no power over you. That's deep. I'm copying that to my file of favorites :)
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DH said the same thing the other day. It's funny the way TBMs CANNOT see that if THEY wouldn't want to be posthumously baptized into another church, perhaps other people don't want to be baptized into TSCC after death. Their excuse is, "Well everyone needs the ordinances, and it's up to them to decide if they want to accept them or not. So what's the harm?" Uh.....
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to not kill any more threads ;) It's giving me a complex. This is beside the fact that I've just realized all my responses basically say the same thing. I've become one of THOSE people. How many more times can you hear the same three stories. Dear gawd, I'm boring myself... While I'm still in the bitter/angry stage of recovery, I also feel increasing peace as time goes on. The anxiety about
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OMG she's SOOO condescending!! Like you, I also cringe thinking of those times when I sounded just like that when I was a narrow-minded TBM... You know why most TBMs think the gospel/doctrine doesn't change? Because in general, the fact that it's changed is NEVER talked about. Also, the beauty of the ongoing revelation/prophet scenario is that anytime you need to change anything for whatever r
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+1
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In general, people were very nice. They tried to go out of their way to welcome him. It was kind of comical really, coming into the chapel and watching people make a beeline for us. When we first moved here, he didn't want anything to do with church or any of the people there, so he typically responded to their pleasantries with one word or smartass answers. I got after him a couple of times for
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My son has a shirt from the video game Left 4 Dead. It's a black T with a skull on the front and the words, "You are dead." The back of the shirt reads, "You will be rescued soon." Unfortunately DS was wearing an open button-front shirt over the T so only the front was visible. LAX security guy's eyes went from DS's dark skin and scruffy facial hair down to that shirt, his eye
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