Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 

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5 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
Men are reluctant to marry because they know the horrible price of divorce. Losing half your stuff is just the start. Then factor in potential lifetime alimony payments, child support that is abused by your ex, and abusively expensive attorney and expert witness bills that can throw both parties into bankruptcy and lifetime financial servitude and ruin. Marriage is a huge financial risk issue,
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5 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
He is not going to like that. Loki - the god of mischief, confounding and WTF - is a god I can believe in.
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6 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
If you *really* want to understand narcs of both genders I recommend: Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited Samuel Vaknin Note: This is a big book and a serious read, not a comic book. He has a ton of YouTube vids if you like the audio channel. Vaknin - an Israeli self aware narc - knows this question and its answers like nobody else. If you wanna get narcs spend some time an
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6 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
Faster, cleaner, more economical and better coffee too. Hint: Boil water with an electric kettle. It is all automated and you get an LED light show for entertainment value. How anyone can recommend instant (unless you have to, which I do too) is beyond me. It is not comparable and brand and price does not seem to help it. But that is another story. Welcome to coffee land. It is a good
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6 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
Notaries are authorized to marry people in the state of Florida. A couple is married when the officiator and witnesses sign the form saying they are married and the form is conveyed to /filed with the county Clerk of Court. Everything up to then - license, ceremony or lack thereof, etc. is preliminary to the real event = filing with the local bureaucracy. You may thank the Clerk of Court
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6 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
Of all religions that plotted to take over the world Mormonism is right up there. Danites, Council of 50, King Joseph Smith, then President Joseph Smith (if you are liberal consider a choice between Joe Smith & Don Trump if you want your head to hurt). ;-) The history of how that worked out is similarly instructive. Today's Mormons are inarguably passionate Americans and even tend to vote
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6 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
7. Yo
Though "online" had a different flavor in the 1980's at the University of Illinois. The university system had online forum groups similar to this one for many topics including religion. This first time ever technical experiment was a heady experience. It was quite a clash of religious ideas. I went to the mat for the One True Church in many very extensive and in depth debates. I l
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6 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
Of course there are no sharia state courts in the United States. The UK has granted some legal rights to religious courts. I view the UK approach as yet another example of why the First Amendment saves the United States from doing (some) silly things. Jewish, Muslim, Mormon, etc. etc. "courts" do their own private thing with the consent of those involved but have no power of the s
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6 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
Can I get their stuff on a Sunday???
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6 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
You are allowing spouse & co. to run your relationship while you are defensive and passive. You are passively sitting by expecting *her* to lead *you* to the right therapist or solution or marital relationship while you sit on your thumbs. You say your marriage has been the same the last two years. Obviously this is wrong. Big red flag has shown up. Are you going to pay attention or be
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6 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
But when you are close to a situation things may not be obvious. 1. Sit down for a non-threatening, intimate, vulnerable, honest communication session. Tips from Compassionate Communication theory: a. Describe his behavior in *non-judgmental* terms - just objective description. b. Tell him how you feel in response to his behavior. What is your emotion? Remember this is *your* emotio
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7 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
Eventually those 108 year old members will die. That will be reflected in membership statistics. Granted there may be a slight lag.
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7 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
As some Jewish friends in college used to say, where was the tape recorder? Jesus is so ingrained in the Western mindset even educated people cannot pry themselves from the mindset of relying on the gospels as if they were a source.
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7 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
n/t
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7 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
I grew up in the now closed Reedley Ward of the Visalia Stake, just north of the Porterville Stake and also central San Joaquin Valley "cheap" living. Even as a casual visitor over the years (when the ward still existed) the frustration of the remaining members carrying the extra load of more and more assignments as real participation declined was quite evident. Yet they loyally hung
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7 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
Think for yourself and accept no dogma. Not even Buddhism. The koan is a rather nice recursive algorithm. Infinite do loops in your head are also instructive.
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7 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
It was a tremendous experience to learn Mandarin Chinese during a mission in Taiwan. And not just the language - the entire experience of living in the Orient in a foreign culture and learning so much about a very different people. And of course the many (well the good ones) experiences with people and faith. It was a unique experience within a faith based community and having a faith based parad
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7 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
It can be hard to see that now but try to see the bigger picture. The question is not who your ex is or how stupidly and unjustly she acted. The question is, who are YOU? Who do you want to be? Do you want to be a bitter, small person who can only remember what was done to him? Or do you want to expand and find the light and love in the universe and express that, even to her. Loo
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7 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
Coat with olive oil. Throw into flat baking pan e.g. cookie pan. Salt to taste. Bake about 30 minutes at about 400-450 deg F. You can add in some fresh garlic cloves or parsnip to balance the sprouts. That's the cooking! The theology is left as an exercise for the reader. You will gain a new belief in Brussels sprouts. ** As long as I am on a culinary rant chuck the chocolate and go f
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7 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
Ancestry.com makes no sense whatsoever. The Angles and Saxons were simply southwestern Danes/Scandinavians. They are the SAME PEOPLE. Angles and Saxons did not become Germans until much later when Charlemagne conquered them, ripped out the Scandinavian culture and made them Christians. Which by the way thoroughly pissed off and freaked out the (remaining) Danes and help launch the Viking era.
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7 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
First, you need to develop an outside-the-marriage life and career, regardless of where things go. You need that independence in many ways to support your growing independence as you get older. Second, head to the marriage counselor - ALONE - and sort yourself and your relationship out a bit first. You will not be ready to deal with him until you understand yourself better first. There are
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8 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
LDS Inc. will screw you over, terribly, because they are a misguided cult. The good news is they only screw you over if you let them. The bad news is you are angry at yourself because you let them. The other bad news is you can't change the past or who you were at that time. The good news is you don't have to change the past. The other good news is someday you will thank the past
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8 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
Yes there were lameness issues like neckties for the young men. But I had fun. It was good social/courtship training wheels for all. I enjoyed them better than school dances which had very different but worse dysfunctions. Good memories actually.
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8 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
And LDS Inc. wouldn't have listed to some furriner atheist anyway.
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8 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
This was long ago and far away, admittedly ... But during my mission in Taiwan 1977-1979 that was definitely not the case. I received very good care for my issues (e.g. dental from too much Chinese sugar cane snacking) and had companions with issues and explicit mission accommodations for their issues (e.g. hypoglycemia). The MP's wife and "health sisters" etc. spent on time on k
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8 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
n/t
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8 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
You can't control Husband who clearly has many issues and is making very bad life and value choices. But you need to reach your own awareness, make the best choices and do the best you can. MAYBE you will find the way to get through to Husband (and bring him as soon as he is willing). Best of luck, you are in a tough situation.
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8 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
OO feels trapped by previous choices in his current situation of a marriage he does not want. OO assesses lifetime compliance and servitude to be a more viable strategy than divorce and a (compromised) new life for himself and his children. I respectfully encourage OO to re-assess his accounting of the value of his life. I think his choice to continue a marriage he does not want costs him a
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8 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
A religion teacher of all people should get the S&G story right. Bible is very clear the sins of S&G were first and foremost injustice and in particular injustice toward the poor. The rapes - heterosexual and homosexual - did get God going. The Biblical story illustrates how unjust societies are rape friendly too. Interesting connection. S&G has absolutely nothing to do with
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8 years ago
Mårv Fråndsen
Small-ish town in California. Now everybody has to go to a different town to attend church. Not enough people to carry the load. Lots of tired people for many years. Converts didn't come. Experiments with mixing, separating, mixing, separating Anglos and Hispanics did not work. Nobody now meets in what - in my childhood - was destined to become a stake center. The town population has double
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