n/t
Forum: Recovery Board

n/t
Forum: Recovery Board

"The sense of absolute entrapment we all have experienced when we commit to something to which we cannot ultimately belong, and realize from that moment on time will begin inexorably to slide right by us. The consequences of a wrong marriage are understood in our literature, our mythologies and our personal biographies to be enormous. It is not only the entrapment of being with the wrong per
Forum: Recovery Board

You might try building a real-life non-Mormon support system. Such a support system might consist of pursuing some personal interests that involve you with other people and friendships. At the same time take small steps away from the church at a pace that won't set off alarm bells for your wife, if that is possible. Ultimatums are a low blow and I state I don't accept them, although I am will
Forum: Recovery Board

n/t
Forum: Recovery Board

and recirculate it when the topic comes up. I hope it is helpful. Making Marriage Work for Ex-Mormon/Mormon Couples I have been a casual observer of mixed religious marriages of former or unbelieving Mormons through an e-mail list and discussion board for former and unbelieving Mormons. It appears to me that unrecognized couples development issues underlie these religious struggles. In fact
Forum: Recovery Board

n/t
Forum: Recovery Board

Actually, I don't know if being a rich Mormon girl was in her favor. Can you imagine coming from a family in which your environment is highly controlled and you are cared for and *then* you taken from it? It would be a profound shock for anyone, and much more for a young girl. The big issue here is feeling in control or helpless, and Elizabeth Smart was made to feel profoundly helpless. From w
Forum: Recovery Board

to Elizabeth Smart when she was abducted and sexually assaulted. Under stressful conditions, people *habituate* to their situation in order to survive and it doesn't occur to them to do things to save themselves that occur to us who are not in that situation. Learned helplessness is a sufficient explanation of Elizabeth Smart's behavior. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness Or
Forum: Recovery Board

complex situation. He says he has not been derogatory toward gays as a pastor. I haven't heard his sermons, but I would expect to see evidence of them by now if it were not true. Seems like a decent man. Here is another interview link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyU5wL9z4PA
Forum: Recovery Board

The Mormon Church doesn't consider its members of any age to be adults who can make their own decisions or capable of making their own mistakes and correcting them. For what it is worth, up to a point porn isn't indicative of anything for me except libido. Past a point it is a sign of feeling distant in my relationship or overstressed. What helps then is not more porn, but more connection (bot
Forum: Recovery Board

It is hard on everyone to have a loved one away and at war. The soldiers worry a lot about their families back home and you caring for your DIL and grandchild is a great relief to your son. I hope he comes home well in body, mind, and spirit and finds his family that way, too. This *is* service to the nation because caring for your son's family means he and they will be able to readjust to normal
Forum: Recovery Board

Yeah, I didn't like the other name after I tried it on for a while.
Forum: Recovery Board

I needed to refocus my life and accomplish a few things. Crystal and I starting and are continuing to organize our household and plan some future moves in our work and education. I was a mile-deep in paperwork from work and over-stressed. My work is still unsettled but I'm riding with that better while considering how to get more stability over the long haul. I completed a certification progr
Forum: Recovery Board

Sure, I experience it. It's pretty typical in relationships. Some things that have helped: Getting time away from our child. We love her, but we need time to ourselves. Building our friendship. I have been making an effort to be a better listener and communicator and to be more responsive to her needs. I am working on taking time to be with her instead of holing up as much when I'm tired or
Forum: Recovery Board