I received my first patriarchal blessing when I converted at age 15. The patriarch forgot the pronounce a lineage, and I didn't really like the boring blessing he gave me anyway. So at age 20, I got permission to receive a second patriarchal blessing.

The second one was way cooler (if being told God raised up a specific man for me to marry in the temple and I and my posterity would do this and do that is cool). He pronounced my lineage to be of the tribe of Joseph.

I've always suspected the problem with the lineage is that I am white but Spanish and it totally fucked with their heads so they didn't know what to do. But I digress...

I wrote to the head of the BYU religion department at the time asking for guidance in understanding what the lineage of Joseph meant. He wrote back explaining lineage, that we are all of Abraham or something and that by prayer I would receive more direct revelation of what my particular "Joseph" lineage meant.

So this year Mormonleaks released new guidelines for patriarchs micromanaging every stage of the process. Among the gems in the handbook is that "It is not appropriate to designate the lineage of an individual as being from the tribe of Joseph only." It also states that second patriarchal blessings for failure to designate a tribe are not appropriate. If that has happened, only a short one to two sentence addendum should be added designating the lineage and nothing more.

So both my blessings failed the launch.


https://mormonleaks.io/wiki/documents/6/66/Information_and_Suggestions_for_Patriarchs-2016.pdf

Underline Suggestions several times. A Patriarch may produce whatever blessing God directs through the Holy Ghost or whatever prejudices that Patriarch holds or whatever the Patriarch had for dinner or ...

as she was sure that the first one got it wrong. This was YEARS after her first one.

The bishop, who is a very, very good friend of mine, told her no. She decided that since he was Japanese, then he never should have been bishop anyway and so he was just wrong.

The "lineage" part is the second most hilarious part of the PB to me (the most hilarious being the fortune-telling stuff).

I mean, pretending that we're all Jews from some tribe...really?

:)

The summer before I received my PB I had a job working outside. I also tan easily. So I got to be from Manasseh! My brother worked inside that summer. He's from Ephraim!

Working outside had nothing to do with it. You were SINNING!!!

But at least you weren't sinning in the rain.

I've been caught by elderolddog. Brother, with discernment like that you shoulda been my bishop!

There's still time.

I know it sounds wrong to say but if he had said Manasseh and a sibling Ephraim, I would have been pissed! Manasseh was the firstborn but his brother Ephraim was given the firstborn birthright instead (I think because Jacob foresaw Ephraim would have a greater posterity and greater success).

That would be so insulting to make siblings reenact a competitive, unfair story like that.

I always loved hearing when people got far-out lineages from the lost ten tribes, like Reuben or Gad. Must hand it to those patriarchs going out on a limb like that. Total wackos!

Same thing happened with my dad and his brother. It left them scratching their heads lol! How can we be of two different tribes? Did mom do something with the milkman??

I noticed in the handbook for Patriamarcs (more Simpsons-speak) that patriamarcs are no longer allowed to be alone with a female blessing-recipient.

I'm pretty sure that most of the adult females of this board who got a PB were alone with their patriamarc. Please let me know if I'm wrong, before I have to testify ...

All alone...both times in their homes in a private room.

Another thing about the handbook that made me smirk is it now says if the patriarch feels inspired to add things AFTER the blessing, when he's reading the transcript, he can just add stuff!!! Just write it in. Fucking unbelievable.

...and then to make sure no one embarrasses him about it, once he makes a final version, all other copies, recordings, notes, etc. are by commandment, destroyed.

How did ghawd ever get so corporate?

The little old guy who gave me my patriarchal blessing was so ancient and rickety, he would not have been a threat under any circumstances.

He foretold that I would "raise up" several children, which was an interesting proposition as I was divorced, had one child, and had had myself rendered permanently barren.

However, I married a guy with three kids, so between us, we had four. The patriarch was right, which has always impressed me.

We both got them the same day. She was 12. I was 16. I think that is the only reason we had someone with us.

The "patriarch" who did my blessing was an oddball. I was 16 (female) and had the blessing at his house. He was not a friendly man and drilled me with questions for at least an hour before giving me a blessing. Although I was a good girl he made me feel so unworthy and nervous that I almost bolted out the door several times. After he'd gathered enough info from me to make up a blessing, he proceeded to give me a "blessing" that seemed more negative than positive. I often referred to it as my patriarchal curse.

Receiving my patriarchal blessing was one of the most unpleasant experiences I had as a TBM. After I left LDS Inc. I tore up my blessing. Now, I kind of wish I'd saved it. It would be fun if all of us exmos posted our blessings and compared them.

"A person who has received a PB...(and)...if it is lost or destroyed, another copy may be obtained through LDS(dot)org. Members requesting a copy of their own blessing should sign in, provide the name of the patriarch who gave the blessing, and give the name of the stake and approximate year in which it was pronounced."

They might not do this for those who have formally resigned.

My patriarchal blessing seemed generic. I just joined the church and got my blessing as soon as possible ,when I was eligible. I thought I’d get a cool one like a lot of people in my ward had. Of course , the Patriarch didn’t know a lot about me. Mine was that it was my responsibility to become a wife and mother , and bring a lot of spirit children into the world, to be married in the temple and all.
I got the tribe of Ephraim, which a lot of my friends got.
If the Patriarch really had a gift, wouldn’t I of gotten something different? Maybe this has nothing to do with it or is irrelevant, but I did DNA tests recently with 3 different companies, and I am 6-13 % European Jewish on each one . Wouldn’t that effect his prediction, if he really had the gift?
Maybe those percentages are too low, maybe?
They seem very low to me, so maybe he was right. I’m just confused.
I do have dark hair and medium skin. My mother was definitely ethic looking , whom they never met, except the missionaries and when my parents came to my baptism.
I’m glad this post got started , as I definitely don’t understand how the selection really works. I got Jewish on my dads side too, on my DNA search , as I mentioned before,but he was Ashkenazi,30%.
My mom only got 6 % Sephardic.
So, if these test really are accurate,and the Jewish law goes by the mothers line, would I be more Sephardic, even though it’s a very low % , and my dad was a higher Ashkenazi?
So ,

For Ami and Tervai, would I be excepted in the Jewish community by that low % ?
I understand about studying with a group / class or Rabbi, to make sure I understand everything.
I’m just confused, why I wasn’t of the tribe of Judah or the other one.

Patriarchal blessings were started to reinforce that those joining the church were attracted to the restored gospel because they were of the tribe of Ephraim who had been prophesied to spread the gospel or build the kingdom. Joseph Smith declared this was the case and that he was a pure Ephramite chosen to restore the gospel.

New converts were given a blessing that revealed that unbeknownst them them they carried the blood of Ephraim which explained why they had been especially drawn to build Zion.

Joseph Smith's family had a preexisting belief and tradition that their family line were pure Ephramites. His grandfather made statements about how God would raise up someone in their family to do great things. At least two children in the family were named Ephraim (one was a stillborn brother of Joseph Smith's)

So its nothing but confirmation bias elevated another level by the patriarch who can see into the bloodline of the members by revelation and find fulfillment of prophesy. Its a lie.

The second but less valiant tribe was Manasseh which the book of Mormon seems to link with the Lamanites. So the church had to declare some members of Manasseh (especially if they thought they descended from the Americas and most European members of Ephraim.)

Its purpose is to pretend to discover by revelation that a particular member was spiritually drawn to the gospel and selected to join BECAUSE as it turns out they inherited the promises and were more spiritually sensitive to the gospel because they were literally the seed of Ephraim, and to a lesser degree sometimes Manasseh.

When full Jews join the church, the patriarch declares them of Judah if he knows upfront. But that too is invention because the kingdom known as Judah also included Benjamin and other tribes (now the lost tribes) and Jews are not necessarily descendants of Judah literally.

http://www.urantiabook.org/outreach/Mormons/Crown%20pride%20of%20Ephraim.pdf

When I received the hardcopy of my Patriarchal Blessing, I compared it to the other who went at the same time with me to get our PB despite of the counsel not to show it to anyone. I then realized that the way it was written was almost the same as the other with very little variations. It didn't feel very unique and special nor It appears to be inspired. So I threw it away.

I absolutely H.A.T.E. these evil pronouncements and what they can do to a person's psyche. My very good friend in HS got her PB along with about 6 of us who all went to the guy's house together. Afterward, we kind of compared them, like the high school kids we were. She was SO disappointed that hers did not talk about posterity or a mate. Ok, she was overweight. Did that make the patriarch discriminate against her? Who knows? However, for her, it became a self-fulfulling prophesy and she just emotionally shut down. She decided that since she wasn't destined to marry, she would just keep going to college and get degrees which she did. She had one chance that I know of to date in college but she would not let it happen. She often talks about how her life would have been different if she had a family. It made me mad then, and it makes me mad now. And she is still TBM. GAG.

A participant on another exmo board told his PB story... He loved music and obviously this came out in the interview before the PB, so the PB said he was going to have a wonderful career in music.

The problem was, per the author, while he loved music, he lacked sufficient talent to stand out. But the PB promised him a rewarding career, so he spent his college life pursuing that dream, only to finally realize that he was never going to be a sufficiently skilled performer. Any inkling he'd had about that early on had been ignored, because of the PB.

I think I was 16. I don't remember any interview before the blessing. I was promised posterity and told to stay faithful even in a "far land"

I thought that meant a foreign mission but I wound up in Chicago. Then I decided south Chicago was certainly a "foreign land" to an Idaho boy. Later when I was still quasi-believing I got sent to Germany with American Military. So I decided that was what the blessing meant.

I can see how a PB can influence your decisions. I think we would all have been better served by a seance of some kind.

Upon further review of the transcripts by the stake president, age related dementia was found in the patriarch. He was immediately hiatused and a new one whom I know was called. I don't know what demented blessings look like but it was apparently alarming.

They were not reblessed by the new patriarch. Chalk up any oddball wierdness to dementia is the new secret explanation for anything off in your blessing.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/14/2018 09:27PM by dogblogger.

I have two PB's. The second one is as boring as the first one.

The second one is four pages long. It took him all that time to tell me I can do whatever I want.

I was in college at the time (age 40ish). I figured that he figured I was onto him and just told me what he thought I wanted to hear.