Buying clothes and being stylish has been the LAST thing on my list of things to do. I only bought 5 shirts in my entire life; all my other shirts were given to me. I thought that fashion was one of the vain things of the world. My Mormon leaders never said anything to encourage me to develop a fashion sense. All I heard from them was what not to wear, and the importance of conforming to a rigid dress code. My Mormon family did not have any sense of fashion either.

Fashion is VERY important in sexual attraction. When men learn to dress well it makes a HUGE difference in how attractive they are to women. I always thought that good looks were all you needed to attract women. Silly me. I have a great task ahead of me as I learn how to dress well so I have finally have decent success with women.

I have to be willing to spend more for higher quality clothing, and I have to be willing to experiment to get the right styles, which will mean I will have to buy a few wrong things before I get it right. But I must do it.

Clothing is a powerful seduction tool and Mormon leaders know this, at least on a subconscious level. And it's not just bikinis that are seductive. Clothing that doesn't show skin can work just as well. People like to fee attractive, and dressing up gives them that attractive feeling. They like to feel like they could seduce the opposite sex even it they have no intention of doing so. If you believe any form of seduction is wrong, it takes away your incentive to dress well. Mormon leaders don't want their members to be seductive. They don't want them to feel too attractive. They just want them to get married and nothing else. This is why it is so hard for Mormons to "get it" when it comes to dressing well and why it is hard even for ExMormons to get into the habit after years of repression.

Also, I have seen a number of Mormon counselors, and at NO TIME have they said ANYTHING about improving the way I dress. Now that should tell you how deep the repression runs even outside the Church.

Another thought: to become really, really stylish, you need feedback from other people who are really, really stylish. These other people are likely to be seductive, and the more stylish they are, the more seductive they will be. Don't block the river; run with it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2013 12:28AM by behindcurtain.

This is almost impossible to help you with through the internet. Do you have a fashionable friend that can help you? Personally I find that if the friend is of the opposite sex, and realize that you are REALLY asking for help and not fishing for compliments, it helps. If money is no problem (doubtful, but hey if it is) you can always hire a professional shopper.

Dress for your body type and colouring. Many higher-end stores have personal shoppers who can help you dress well. Also, many dept stores offer free tailoring (or at least they used to.)

Style is a very personal thing- Dressing like everyone else is not necessarily stylish.

dress like your gay. you can easily spot a gay man.

nother thought is follow barney and always where suits.

so i'm challenged with style too. God the cost of being sylist is to much. tip walmart and target clothes dont cut it. seems i wear baggy clothes and the women run.

greengobbledyguck Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> so i'm challenged with style too. God the cost of
> being sylist is to much. tip walmart and target
> clothes dont cut it. seems i wear baggy clothes
> and the women run.


I have to say this would depend on the woman. Personally the guys from Duck Dynasty do it for me, especially Phil :P

I'm sorry, but have you seen the "leather bears", that is NOT WELL DRESSED!

I worked for Nordstrom for 5 years. You learn fast when you're in that atmosphere every day.

Just don't go too far the other way and become a fashion snob.

No matter what you wear, if you aren't clean and well groomed you won't look good. Get a good haircut. Find a nice cologne at a nigh end store that you like. Don't wear too much cologne though.
Get a manicure,pedicure and a facial at least once so you know how great it makes you feel and look.

anonni Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I worked for Nordstrom for 5 years. You learn fast
> when you're in that atmosphere every day.
>
> Just don't go too far the other way and become a
> fashion snob.
>
> No matter what you wear, if you aren't clean and
> well groomed you won't look good. Get a good
> haircut. Find a nice cologne at a nigh end store
> that you like. Don't wear too much cologne
> though.
> Get a manicure,pedicure and a facial at least once
> so you know how great it makes you feel and look.


see think gay.

greengobbledyguck Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> anonni Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I worked for Nordstrom for 5 years. You learn
> fast
> > when you're in that atmosphere every day.
> >
> > Just don't go too far the other way and become
> a
> > fashion snob.
> >
> > No matter what you wear, if you aren't clean
> and
> > well groomed you won't look good. Get a good
> > haircut. Find a nice cologne at a nigh end
> store
> > that you like. Don't wear too much cologne
> > though.
> > Get a manicure,pedicure and a facial at least
> once
> > so you know how great it makes you feel and
> look.
>
>
> see think gay.

but does that work on attracting women?

One of my cousins did the Nordstrom thing and was very pleased with it. She normally didn't give a rat's patoot for fashion. But she and her husband were opening their own business and she wanted to look sharp.

Since retiring, my normal wardrobe consists of jeans and tee shirts in the summer and jeans with sweatshirts in the winter. A number of my favorite tee shirts and sweatshirts have come from thrift stores because I like the logos: they are either from interesting places around the world, or cool universities.

I wasn't attracted to my husband because of his wardrobe, either In fact, my ex was a total slave to the look of the moment and he was a narcissistic jerk. My current husband tends toward jeans and short-sleeved cotton shirts. He owns a sports jacket or two for dress-up occasions.

I was attracted to him because he is a genuine, kind, witty, decent guy. Fashion mavens we're NOT.

Yes. Some women LOVE metrosexual, effeminate men. I'm in love with two of them right now. See, they're heterosexual, but something in their genes or upbringing has given them more feminine, seductive, sensual, stylish qualities. You talk to them and they truly listen and care. They thrive on receiving attention & adoration too. And they know just when to stroke your hair and just when to PULL it, mmmm!!!

I know a few metrosexual guys that are secretly bisexual. By secretly, that means the women they sleep with don't know they are also doing men.

I susspect the same, and I honestly don't mind! Love is free & beautiful & sensual and to be shared as much as a person wishes.

Where do you plan on going?

My fashionable mother taught me to dress appropriately.

If you are a SAHM with kids and a house and garden to maintain, jeans and a shirt are perfect. IMO, it is just as easy to put on a nice pair of jeans and an attractive shirt. They are just as comfortable, just fast, and things wash out.

When I was A SAHM, I had two Sunday outfits, and I switched between the two, and added different sweaters, scarves, a jacket, a long coat in the winter. I wore my organ shoes. No one cared, and neither did I, because my husband went inactive, and never came to church with us. My children wore nice school clothes to church--before the days of ties and white shirts. I never enforced that rule on my sons, even in high school. My daughter liked to dress up, so I let her. We each had some nice party outfits. I would wear one special black outfit to play at funerals, and I'd add pearls and beads to it at Christmas, and a pink sweater and scarf at Easter. I hated skirts and pantie hose, so I wore long skirts. Sometimes, the organist isn't even seen, so I didn't care much.

I also think it is fine to wear a tennis dress on the tennis court, and a swim suit at the beach. Shorts in hot weather, pants to warm your legs in cold weather. Ski clothes in the snow, Sexy lingerie with your husband, and old thick bathrobe around house guests.

Just think of what is "appropriate." What will make others feel comfortable around you, yet show them you care enough to polish yourself up a bit. I believe in maintenance--nails always polished, makeup and sunscreen every day, hair trimmed and washed, etc. You never know when you might run into someone you would like to impress. It is always when you least expect it.

This is good for your self esteem. Pay attention to how you feel in certain outfits--your clothes should make you feel happy.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2013 04:02AM by forestpal.

Men's magazines such as GQ may give you a few ideas as how you would like to develop your look.

Clothes mean nothing...if ur hot...I'm interested in what you are like without clothes anyway.... :p. Just sayin...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2013 04:53AM by boiseguy.

Ok, first of all I'm assuming you're a guy.

Coloration and undertones, you need to figure out if you're skin leans towards green/blue or yellow/red. Just look at your veins and place your hand next on white piece of paper. Yellow/red means you're warm so go towards those colors in clothing. Blue/green means you're cold.

Are you pale? Step away from wearing mostly white and pastels, you can look washed out (meaning colorless). Being tan gives you leeway on colors.

Black and grey are safety colors.

Your lifestyle and work comes to play too. Are you the type to go out some smancy restaurant? Do you work in business? Try getting a dark grey suit (for style value get a vest if you're not too round in the middle). Suits should be taken to a tailor. Actually that is now mandatory for me. You're suit needs to fit you to make you polish.

If you don't want a suit, get some black and dark grey dress slacks.

For ties, simple solid black and a few simple patterns in bold colors.

Dress shirts, get a few to mix it up! Get some short sleeves for summer. I suggest pastel blue, white, and the dreaded pink. Men tend to underestimate pink. Do not fear the pink, it looks great with dark grey and black.

For casual clothing, a few tee shirts. Nothing novelty, just those dumb "blah blah est 1111bc" shirts and some good fitting jeans.

I suggest a few polo shirts, but I'm not a fan of them. Same with shorts.

General advice: learn to wash and take care of your clothes better. Try on anything before you buy. After a while you'll figure what you like and look best in. Heck, take pictures in case you're indecisive.

Extras: Accessories are what brings your personality out. Invest in a nice watch, wallet and sunglasses. Don't forget belts and a good pair of black dress shoes.

Take care of yourself: I like the suggestion of a manicure. Not all guys have the nicest nails (ugly cuticles) and it takes guts to do it. General hygene, brush teeth, shampoo+conditioner, but I would add using a facial wash and body wash to your shower routine.

You can do more, but eh guys think going far into it makes them gay for some reason. I'm waiting for men in general to jump back on the make up train. A lot of people don't notice that actors are wearing make up on films unless its for sfx.

Also, get a haircut and maintain it. Same with shaving/maintaining facial hair. Heck, I suggest finding someone who do brows for men. Yeah, it's waxing and sounds unnecessary until you look at how handsome you are! I suggest doing that more a manicure. Men should have full, thick eyebrow that shouldn't be shaggy. A good waxer will keep your natural shape but clean the edges.

Anyway, take my advice with a grain of salt since it's been years since I did fashion consultation and I don't know exactly what you define stylish in your head (I'm thinking sleek and classic).

I forgot to add a few more points. I nearly wrote an novel didn't I?

Stylish isn't about keeping up with the trends, and it can vary on place to place.

Punch anyone who questions your manhood or sexuality. Actually don't, just feel sorry. It's really disgusting to have your gender and sexual orientation questioned (and I say this as the woman with short hair and superhero tees). Apparently they can't get over seeing a guy wanting to improve his appearance.

When trying on clothes, think about how you feel. Don't buy clothes that make you feel dorky and weird. Buy the ones that make you grin, even on the inside, when you were them. It takes some tries and stores to find the one that makes you feel good inside.

Buy clothes over time and don't buy duplicates unless they're basics. Basics (black dress pants, jeans, dress shirts, etc) are what you should get first and they rarely get out of style. Accessories and yourself are the features of this painting called you. Basics can be mixed around with each other to make different combos (black pants with blue shirt.... Later same black pants with white and a tie!).

Now to go back to bed before I sound even more weird.

High end clothing stores.
They have folks who will know how to dress you. They give you clothes to try on. Take pictures of the outfits you like and find similar ones at reasonable prices.
You have already rejected the biggest sales pitch, you can see through anything these sales folks have got and not buy a single thing.
If they do the snotty attitude thing, just say that you have left the priesthood for love.

You need help getting dressed?

I can help. Where do you live?

:)

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2013 12:14PM by behindcurtain.

behindcurtain Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have a great task
> ahead of me as I learn how to dress well so I have
> finally have decent success with women.


Perhaps. Not all women are attracted to the same thing. What attracts one woman, can repel another.

IMO, dress in a way that you are comfortable with (whatever that is) and feels like 'you'. That way you're attracting someone to the real you and not an image that might be a pain in the ass to keep up.

Good Grief - Here are the secrets to dress for chicks. Keep your shoes polished at all times. Wear nice shirts with a collar and press your clothes. Wear nice slacks not cheap ones. Your slacks also need to be pressed. When you wear jeans, make sure they are pressed (no wrinkles) and NO dickies or levis or any other cheap jean. Jeans can actually be a better chick magnet than slacks especially with LDS women. Brush your teeth and wear perfume. DO NOT GET THE POPULAR BRANDS. You do not want to remind them of someone else. It must be good (expensive) perfume. Do not splash perfume on your checks, you put a drop on your neck below your ears, you put some on your chest and a drop in the hair of your crotch if you would like some oral. Women are attracted to were the smell is coming from.

DO NOT DRESS LIKE YOU ARE A PREP. Fall is coming and women love yellow pull over sweaters. NO FREAKING BUTTONS on a sweater. Women also like men in light pink shirts for some reason. No yellow sweater with a pink shirt.

You need confidence, women are looking for a man and you need to compliment all women all the time.

Finger nails must be super clean and short and bath every day (no powder on you). You must wear something very nice on your wrist. Never a chain around your neck. Neck chains are a turn off.

DO NOT BE AVAILABLE FOR ANY FEMALE THAT IS INTERESTED she is just one of a harem. They like a challenge. Often women will go after a man simply because another female has shown an interest. NEVER date just one girl at time. Always date at least 3.

I am assuming you are young, but it is important that you have a job unless you are young college age going to college. Nothing turns off women like a 35 year old man with no job going to school not paying his child support.

The Master has spoken! Now go forth and get laid (always wear protection and avoid child support).

I'm having one of those 'is this for real or it is satire?' moments. 0.o

I would recommend the book written by the hosts of the TLC show "What Not To Wear." It had lots of tips of how to enhance your body type and hide flaws, for both men and women, of all different sorts of body types. I would also recommend perusing the websites of conservative but stylish retailers like Banana Republic and Brooks Brothers. Fashion magazines are for the most part useless.

A couple things I would like to add...

If you need to buy a suit, don't go the cheap route. Go to someplace like Nordstroms where they tailor it to fit you. DO NOT buy a brown or any shade of brown suit. They are ugly. Stick with Dark grays, or black. I prefer charcoal or a bit off black because it's a bit softer looking than straight black. The guys that work in those departments will be a big help to you.

One more thing. If your teeth are a mess spend the money to get them fixed. It will be worth every penny and is good for your long term health. Nothing can ruin the over all look of a person faster than bad looking teeth. They are the signature to your smile and everyone is very aware of how they look.

If you wear glasses, make sure they are up to date. Don't wear knee highs with sandals. Don't wear socks with sandals. Maybe go spend some time doing some people watching. Go places where people look attractive to you. Take notes on what they wear, and why you like it.

Fashion can be fun. It can make you feel better than you've ever felt about yourself. You might be surprised how you feel when you try on certain things. If something fits you to a T and looks great on you, buy it. Don't hope there's something better around the corner. Keep your receipts in case you need to return something. People do it all the time. Men seem to have a hang up about it. Really, it's no big deal.

I have to respectfully disagree with themaster.

Here it is, from a woman:

Your biggest mistake is assuming that you must be fashionably dressed to be seductive. So not true. Most women DO NOT CARE if you are stylish, fashionable, etc. As long as you are clean and decently groomed, your attitude and personality matter way more than what you wear.

themaster wrote:
<DO NOT BE AVAILABLE FOR ANY FEMALE THAT IS INTERESTED she is just one of a harem. They like a challenge. Often women will go after a man simply because another female has shown an interest. NEVER date just one girl at time. Always date at least 3.>

This advice is standard PUA (Pick-Up Artist) mentality, guaranteed to repel 98% of the women you meet, especially in Utah. It won't matter what you wear if you think and act this way -- women will catch on to you quickly (except the ones that are desperate or messed-up) and run the hell the other way, as they should. Then they will tell all their friends to do the same. Word travels fast in the Morridor.

I once dated one of these @$$hats.He dated 6-7 women at all times, openly, and greatly enjoyed watching us compete with each other for the top spot on his list. Finally, all but one of us joined forces and dumped his sorry @$$. He married the remaining woman. They're now divorced.

Woman attractant:
Honesty, a HEALTHY amount of self-confidence, a good sense of humor, and regard and respect for the people you date as individuals.

You want fashion advice? Here goes:

-- No socks with sandals. EVER. Especially not with shorts.

-- Do not rub deodorant on body parts other than your underarms. Avoid Old Spice. It's the geezer scent of choice.

-- Don't overdo it with the fragrance. Women will think you're gay.

-- Keep nails very short and very clean, especially your toenails. Yes, women notice, and there are few bigger turn-offs! If you need to moisturize rough, chapped hands or feet, buy a jar of organic coconut oil and use a half-teaspoon or so. If your hands get oily, greasy, or coated with grime at work, scrub 'em down before you pick a woman up for a date.

-- Brush, floss, scrape tongue, and use mouthwash. Keep breath mints with you at all times. Use Whitestrips every six months or so.

-- If you're over forty, PLEASE trim those nose, eyebrow, and ear hairs!!

-- No one wants to see chest hair creeping over the collar or neckline of your shirt. Manscape if you have to.

-- A basic wardrobe of Levis, Dockers, cargo shorts, and a few pairs of nice slacks, plus a variety of shirts (colored tees, button downs, dress shirts, etc.) and a couple of cardigans, pull-over sweaters, hoodies, and jackets should do just fine. Color coordinate, but don't get too fancy. JCPenneys is a good place to shop for nice, basic menswear. They have some great sales, too.

-- Shoes: slip-ons, especially TopSiders, Airwalks, or other casual loafers, are good. Sneakers are OK if they are not obvious running shoes (worn for occasions other than sports). Flip-flops or casual sandals are great for warm weather. Avoid: pointy sh!%-kicker cowboy boots, white sneakers, Velcro tabs on shoes, dress shoes with jeans, grimy work boots on dates.

-- Do not constantly wear a baseball cap. Newsboy caps are also horrible (unless you really are gay).

-- Big, thick beards and mustaches that curl down over your upper lip and grow up into your nose are a huge turn-off.

-- Jewelry: If you must wear it, make sure it looks masculine. Wood, twine, leather, dark-colored metals, etc. No gold, please!

-- Keep hair well-groomed.

-- Use lip balm.

-- Pressed shirts, jeans, and casual pants make us think you are a PUA or a geezer or gay. Don't do it. Avoid excessively wrinkled clothes -- only a few men have ever been able to pull it off (including James Dean, who famously arrived at an interview with a female columnist looking, in her words, "like an unmade bed").

If you want to attract and keep a woman you need to have a wardrobe that will make you the perfect escort. That includes:
1. A dark suit that fits well with a white shirt and conservative tie. This is for funerals, formal weddings, dinners and parties that are not quite black tie.
2. At least one sport coat and coordinating pants, shirt and tie. For less formal weddings, business luncheons, family dinners in restaurants, class reunions etc.
3. The rest of your wardrobe should reflect who you are. Don't buy a bunch of prep clothes if you're an outdoors man. You don't want a woman who doesn't want the real you. Spend a little more on your clothes if you can and if you can't, check out the mannequins in the high end stores that carry your style.

As others have said, no matter what your personal style is, grooming is everything. Take that second or even third shower and never, never put on more cologne to mask the fact that you didn't. It doesn't work. When my daughters were preteens I often drove groups of kids to the movies. The next day when I got in my car to go to work, my car would still smell like the boys cologne (Brut or Elsha). You're not twelve, so that would really be a sin if you did it.

http://www.askandyaboutclothes.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?31-Andy-s-Fashion-Forum&s=588997bca7426b839cfe2549c4234f19

Go for fewer better items. Find out what looks good on you. Great buys on eBay. Better to get one pair of Allen Edmonds shoes which will last a lifetime than a pair of cheap ones every year or two. Used good quality is often a great buy. very often it is as good as new for 20% the price because men gain and lose weight so often.

Good luck

icedtea wrote "I have to respectfully disagree with themaster. Here it is, from a woman:" Then she copied "themaster wrote:
<DO NOT BE AVAILABLE FOR ANY FEMALE THAT IS INTERESTED she is just one of a harem. They like a challenge. Often women will go after a man simply because another female has shown an interest. NEVER date just one girl at time. Always date at least 3." Then she wrote "I once dated one of these @$$hats.He dated 6-7 women at all times, openly, and greatly enjoyed watching us compete with each other for the top spot on his list."

Sorry icedtea - the concept works. The guy may have been a jerk but you were part of the harem. 6 to 7 is too many. 3 is perfect.

I must say I do agree with what icedtea did write about looking good. I did not include nose hair and ear hair because I am assuming you are young. If you have ear, nose or unibrow get rid of it.

If you do not live at home with your parents always make sure your bed is made and the kitchen is clean. Women notice. Also spend the money and put a bed ruffle on your bed. If your young living at home is ok but still make sure your room is clean and the bed is made. A 35 year old male living with his mom is not sexy.