My little niece is over at my house, & she's wearing a very modest sundress. Except her damn Jackmo turned active TBM mother has put her in a t-shirt & shorts to wear with said sundress. It's sick & embarrassing. The shorts go past her knees. The sundress is at her knees though, & it is a sleeveless sundress, not a strapped sundress, so it covers almost all of her shoulder, except for the edge. Like I said, it's very modest.

This makes me so fucking angry.

I have never laughed so hard at how people dress than when I went to Thanksgiving Point last year. tank tops galore. With ugly stupid t-shirts underneath and garments poking out. Looooong shorts that were barely even shorts since they went so far past the knee. It was just embarrassing. I know mormons don't have a lot of choices, but I don't think they realize how strange they look to someone from out of town.

Growing up from the mid-70 to mid-90s, I was in the middle of the modesty politics in TSCC becoming worse as a kid. I never wore anything that made me look stupid. I wore t-shirts & jeans or pants practically all the time because I wanted to wear normal clothes, & not clothes that reflected a faux-modesty. (I liked long skirts for church because I hated my legs. So I was covered there.)

The only thing I ever wore that would be considered immodest now were the shorts I wore in the summer, both short shorts & Bermudas, as they were both above the knee.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/26/2013 09:31PM by Tristan.

I was at Thanksgiving Point a week ago. It was my grandsons birthday, and all the cousins went to the "petting zoo" they have. Except all the pens and cages had signs warning visitors not to feed or pet the animals, lest they lose a finger.

But regarding the way the kids were dressed - I didn't really pay attention to most of the kids' attire, because there was a plyg family of 8 also visiting. All the girls had long braided hair, as did the mom. And you could not see any skin except for their faces and hands. They wore thick leggings of some kind under their shin-length plain dresses. And it was at least 80 degrees that day.

So tee shirts under a sun dress? If there were any, they were "normal" by comparison.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/28/2013 01:04AM by PapaKen.

what is the point of even wearing the sundress if the kid is wearing shorts and a t-shirt underneath? Is the mom getting the kid used to wearing garmies by dressing her in multiple layers of clothing now?

I was wondering that myself. Why not just make the kid dress in long shorts and a t-shirt? Why bother with the extra layer of dress on top?

Oh my this reminds me of the thought process I went through raising my young kids to prepare them for garments some day. I wanted to find them garment-like undergarments to wear under everything. Always liked to buy my son longish boxer briefs, and had my daughter wear cap sleeve t's under her strappy sun dresses. Those days are behind us now and we can be normal with everyone else again. Now even I enjoy strappy sun dresses with no more guilt ever again.

dogzilla Wrote:
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> Why not just make the kid dress in long shorts and a t-shirt? Why bother with the extra layer of dress on top?

Because little girls love pretty dresses. Thus, the very awkward...compromie.

Yuch.

Well, my SIL is a Jackmo just returning to activity, & I think she's trying to "follow the rules", plus appease her TBM mother.

All I know is that it's hypocritical & sickening.

This is one of my pet peeves about Mormon women. These moms aren't following any hard fast rule about modesty. They are doing this to themselves and each other and their daughters are the ones who suffer.

There is no reason for a little girl, or a teen, or young adult, who has not been endowed, to wear that garb. They do not have garments to cover.

It's bad enough that Mormon moms wear weird layered outfits when it's 100 degrees outside, but for little girls, it borders on abusive.

+1

I think the impetus is that if a girl is, from early childhood, used to the covering, they won't realize how wrong the garmies are when they get older. If, on the other hand, they must suddenly change their dressing pattern when they "get endowed" they must may recognize the cultish garmies as what they are.

The problem with the whole idea behind dress them modest now so they'll be ready for garments is I've rarely seen it work. My mom tried her damnedest to layer me up as a kid, but once I got into middle school there was no freakin way I was wearing knee length shorts & tee shirts under tank tops. Same with the Mormon girls I went to school with.

I've seen the same thing working with the Yw. Once they hit a certain age most (not all) rebell against the layers. It's such a ridiculous thing to try to enforce modesty on a toddler & I really just can't wrap my head around it.

Such killjoys.

I can only think that such parents have experience with people (perhaps themselves) going too far the other way--drinking, drugs, unsafe sex etc. And think, "ah, the LDS Church has this all figured out. We have to start young, and really tighten the screws from the get go."

Nothing can be fun. Stay away from the edge. Blah, blah, blah.

Shows a complete lack of balance and moderation.

Argh.

This reminds me of a post one of my TBM facebook friends made recently about her daughter. Apparently her daughter is all kinds of into Wonder Woman and she made a post about how when her daughter was dressing up as her or pretending to be her, she had to be a "very modest Wonder Woman"

The girl is 4! SHe just wants to play and she's already getting told her superhero dresses like a hussy!

http://www.clothedmuch.com/p/mormon-fashion-bloggers.html

Barf-a-rama

On sister missionary fashion (featured on KSL!)

http://latterdaystyleblog.blogspot.com/

Barf-a-rama

I never wore white pants because you can see garment lines.

One of the first things I did was go buy a pair of white jeans.

I just encountered this phenomenon last week. I have a very nice TBM neighbor whose oldest girl is the same age as my daughter, so they have become good friends. One of their favorite games is to play dress-up, which often involves just wearing whatever dresses my daughter has in her closet as opposed to costumes or fancy clothes. Anyway, after her friend went home last week, my daughter said to me, "'Lisa' isn't allowed to wear dresses unless they go below her knees. Why, Mommy?"

Not wanting to get into the whole "modesty" issue (for girls who are six!), I just said, "I don't know...I guess Lisa's mommy just thinks longer dresses look better on her."

I mean, really--even playing dress-up the poor kid has to be "modest"?

It is so stupid... I grew up in an ultra-TBM home and like another poster said, once I hit about 8th grade, I didnt care anymore. I wore short shorts.. and then in high school, cleavage showing shirts.. much to my parents overt dismay.

SOOOO happy that I got out of my garments, never felt so free!

Also, I bought a tank top for my 16 yr old niece. My sister was annoyed with me and is making my niece wear a shirt underneath. *eyeroll*

This was not an issue when I was growing up. The church discouraged short shorts, minis and bikinis but that is about it. We wore sleeveless dresses and tops, shorts and nobody cared what babies and toddlers wore. When did the church become so obsessed with modesty?

I was guilty of this behavior when I believed. I remember a relative had given me a beautiful little tulip sundress for my newborn daughter. I then proceeded to completely ruin the dress by making sure that I put on a white onesie underneath so that my NEWBORN would be modest. Sometimes I appall myself.

Even though I had adjusted to the idea of wearing garments someday and altered my wardrobe accordingly, I found the Mormons at Ricks college really stupid looking.

The girls would wear haltertops over long sleeved WHITE turtlenecks! Ugly doesn't begin to describe it.

I'd have preferred either wear the halter top by itself like its supposed to be worn, or wear the turtle neck.

Of course if those hussys wore the halter tops they'd have been booted off campus and maybe even kicked out of school.

I bet if someone brought a picture of them wearing a haltertop when they were away from Ricks for the weekend, but while still registered they'd be suspended from school......

DH and I were eating dinner in a restaurant the other evening. Sitting near us was a family of Mennonites. Mom had a longish dress and the small bonnet on her head. Two young girls were wearing long hair and long dresses. Dad and son were in shorts and flip flops.

I was struck by the difference. Girls must look dowdy and from the past century. Boys may wear whatever they want. How is that different from Morg kids? We teach our girls that they must cover their body lest some crazy guy would lust after their shoulders. Little girls shouldn't even have to be aware of that nonsense.

It seems to me that this latest iteration of Mormons wants to create more and more "rules" so they can be seen as better than their neighbors. More rules equals more opportunities to judge others.

Christlike my a$$.

I know that there are some Mennonite groups where the women wear regular modest clothes & even pants, but they still have to wear those bonnets.

Seattle Mennos are Completely Out of That Loop!

I looked up their website, Guy, & it's cool that they're looking like completely normal people these days.

I noticed the same phenomenon on each of our visits to Lexington, oddly enough. The teenaged girls all looked like miniature versions of the older women, and the teenaged boys all looked like average teenaged boys.

Morridora Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> DH and I were eating dinner in a restaurant the
> other evening. Sitting near us was a family of
> Mennonites. Mom had a longish dress and the small
> bonnet on her head. Two young girls were wearing
> long hair and long dresses. Dad and son were in
> shorts and flip flops.
>
That's a frequent sight in my area, only with Muslims rather than Mennonites. Once on a particularly hot day, I was at a crowded Target and observed a large Muslim family that had three or four daughters and one son. The mother and daughters are were completely covered and wearing headscarves, while the dad and the lone son were wearing--you guessed it--shorts and T-shirts. Two of the daughters appeared not to have even hot puberty yet.

To make matters worse, the dad and son were seated at the Target café while all of the females stood next to them. I don't know if they (mom and daughters) just didn't feel like sitting down, but it did not make for a pleasant sight.

I personally wouldn't find it offensive if at least the males had to dress "modestly" too, but I really dislike seeing only females having those "standards" imposed on them, regardless of the religion.

NeverMo in CA Wrote:

Sorry--meant to write "have not even hit..."

My elementary school aged daughter has several sundresses that she loves. The are not short dresses but they have straps. Her school district dress code doesn't allow tank tops or sundresses where the strap is less then 2 inches wide. She wanted to wear one of her sun dresses to school but it goes against the dress code. I said "you could always where a t-shirt underneath". She said, "No way! That is such an ugly Mormon girl fashion!" That made me laugh. I completely agree.

Can she wear the sundress with a little cropped cardigan over top? 'Cause I wear that to work a lot. I don't like bare shoulders in the office because AC. So I wear the cardigan until I get to my car, where it's over 100º in there, whip it off and go to lunch in a strappy sundress...

Old Navy has some really cute ones... and they're cheap, too. I have like 4 of these.

http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?vid=2&pid=387729002

A few months after DH and I got married my mother-in-law had a baby (yes she was pregnant at our wedding). I bought the baby the cutest, and a little expensive I might add, ruched tank top and shorts as she was a summer baby. I should have known better. It never got worn!

My apologies for suffering culture shock, but... I don't get it. I've never understood the whole, "Men are just raging hormones that they can't control," (and how insulting is that to many, if not most, men?), "so women must be made to wear confining, dowdy, uncomfortable clothes". I mean, I understand it from a control issue (see also: Taliban, Mennonites, Amish, etc.) and from the, "women are nasty, dirty, lustful, temptresses" standpoint (as inane as that is), but why do people put up with it? Is it a cultural thing or a, "this is how I was raised so it seems normal" thing or what? I'm honestly asking here, not trying to be snarky or do the, "I would never stand for that!"--who knows? I haven't been in the position of many here--but I am curious.

Mennonites wear regular clothing & have for a long time. Guy Noir even confirms it in an above post.

The Amish however, are as crazy as ever.