People often relay how they are initially 'lovebombed' by members when joining the Mormon church.What specifically does this entail?Has anyone had firsthand experience with this?

Everybody feigns ridiculous interest in you and will tell you all the time how special you are etc. They are also probably _very_ helpful and overly kind.

The ward leaders might assign some of your peer group to make you think they want to be your friends. Genuine ones. It takes a while before you realize it's just another assignment and that you are _not_ "special".

Soon after baptism, it can change quite drastically. Then you are supposed to take callings and pay and obey. If you don't comply, they might even start to see you as a threat (doubting might be contageous).

They pretend to like you.

It was hard to catch at first, but I've gotten better at spotting bad acting.

Having spent a lot of time in bishopbricks, I can verify that they absolutely are deliberate in their planning and strategy for bringing people "back".

Delivering Thanksgiving turkeys, dropping by cookies, offering to pick up your kids from school, you name it. Even down to trying to match the right people to visit they wayward soul. They certainly never mention the words "lets love bomb them" but that is what is happening. It always cracks me up how a newly assigned home teacher will express how much they love you the same way the last assigned home teacher did. I have a theory that has a lot to do with why Momos have a hard time forging true, deep relationships (a topic for another post).

One convert I knew in a southern Idaho ward left because the abandonment after baptism was so abrupt. It was ridiculously abrupt. I once quipped to the bishop that I favored inactivity because then the cookies, breads, and meals just poured in. He didn't know how to respond. I'd much rather be left alone but that's how they work.

About the only person hanging in there with us is my wife's one time VT. She thinks its a true friend but Im suspicious she'll slowly fade away since we arent attending.

I think we'll see new and creative love bomb methodologies given the recent focus on mish work. One can only guess what they may come up with to try to bring us back to the fold.

+1 - they prey on those who are vulnerable, those who may have difficulty making friends or are socially awkward, lacking support, looking for some meaning, and voila! instant friends, instant set of beliefs and look how nice they are bringing those cookies around, and what great *spiritual* conversations I have with them. shame the targets can't see through the marketing gimmicks.

If a better chunk of Mormons knew how to really cook, love bombing would work much more smoothly.

Two things I remember from my study of cults way back in "the days of yore." (Well, my "yore," whatever that is!)

The Moonie cult (Sun Myung Moon, now dead, and the "Unification Church") would invite people out to retreats in the country. The new prospects were never left alone, and always had a few people close by. The prospective member was given LOTS to do: games, help with the food, talk groups, never left alone. Before too long, the prospect was looking for ways to participate or contribute, so as to fit in better.

The Moonies were also adept at identifying people who had personal problems or backgrounds. They intensely promoted their cult as a big, happy family, and prospects with problem families were attracted to them. After a while, of course, they were out on the streets for 18-20 hours a day, selling flowers, incense, etc. They traded their problem family for an exploitive "family." I understand TSCC will use negative experiences, such as a family death, as an entry opportunity.

One other thing the Moonies were good at, which TSCC may do on a lesser scale: separate the newcomer away from his own family and environment. But getting the prospect/newcomer involved in lots and lots and lots of activities, the cult displaces old relationships and forges new ties. This is not "lovebombing," but the newcomer acquires a sense of bonding and kinship with his new group.

The last person who showed up to love bomb me seems to have disappeared.

She dropped in unannounced. She claimed to have been recently diagnosed with the sam chronic illness as mine. She was asking me what it was like and how best to deal with it.

I told her that prayer, fasting, PH blessings (even by GA's), and attending the temple would NOT cure her. I did it for 20 years with zero results.

I told her that MLM people would come out of the woodwork. They would use GD class to preach to her about her weaknesses and why she was sick.

I then told her how as they discovered that they couldn't use her at the drop of a hat, they would have no use for her.

If she goes on medications and tells anyone she would be flagged as a lazy drug addict. People would gossip about her laziness and how she wasn't doing her part.

She listened, and then left. I haven't seen her since. She did ALL of the above to me when I got sick. It was like Karma came to visit and gave me the golden opportunity.

I love that karma gave you this opportunity and I'm glad you didn't waste it.

I experienced this quite a bit as I began to really distance myself from TSCC. I had one friend growing up that became quite distant as we began to enter into adulthood, starting about high school. (Which of course, happens all the time)

At that point, literally the only reason we were still
'friends' was because we were obligated to be such since we were both members. Eventually came mission time, and he was literally the only person in our ward's age-group that decided to go on a mission (and stay in TSCC).

He sent everybody our age letters from the MTC, basically saying that he was being a good friend to us all by telling us that we HAD to go on a mission and that it would be the best thing we could ever do with our lives. Nobody bought it and ignored him. When he got back, after having no contact with most of us for the entire duration of his mission (Most of us didn't even want to glorify him with a response) he made 4 plates of cookies, grabbed a few folks from the singles ward, and in one day attempted to contact all of us inactive 'friends' by showing up at our parents' doorsteps. (Our last known locations I guess) It was very obvious we were 'projects'.

But before that, while this guy was still on his mission, I started getting love-bombed by various people from the singles ward, many of whom I simply didn't know at all. They started showing up at my work at an eerily increasing frequency with the "HEY! Fancy you are working here when I decided to come in here! You should come to [insert singles-ward activity/church here!]" They also started showing up at my door with cookies and stuff on a regular basis, and the missionaries started coming by at least once a week.

Old seminary teachers and Sunday school teachers started appearing out of nowhere and 'coincidentally' running into me in various places and would often drop weird lines like "Oh do you know such-and-such girl your age? She is really cool and talented, you should start coming to the singles ward and get to know her!!"

Honestly, it was really freaking scary and aggravating. They were borderline stalking and harassing me, and even further they were literally using women to try to seduce and attract me into going to church, which was quite fcked up in my mind. You get on the project list, you get love (creep) bombed. It is a real thing, and it is often frustrating and uncomfortable if you are aware of what is actually going on. But they do catch some people in vulnerable moments, where the sudden attention and interest in you does have a major appeal. The only way it really stopped though was:

1) Telling the missionaries straight up that I don't believe in God and I am never ever going back to church. (which helped a little)

2) Moving to a different town. (which helped more, but they still tracked me down and within a few weeks, I got a call on my cell-phone from a member of the Bishopric in my 'new ward' (who was a complete stranger to me) at like 10pm on a week night asking me to have a meeting with the Bishop (also a complete stranger to me). I told him that even though I may be on their records, I am never ever going to their church, and I am most definitely not having any kind of meeting with a complete stranger, set up by some other complete stranger, about matters that had absolutely no bearing on my life anymore, then hung up. (which seems to have stopped most of the contact so far)

I am not superficial enough to know.

Gettheledzepout,
Poor convert probably thought they had made friends for life.Guess they should have kept up the lovebombing a bit longer!

How about people who find the church on their own,do they also get lovebombed?

When my niece was in HS she wanted a certain part in the Road Show. She has a lot of talent and would most likely have gotten that part except there was a semi-active girl they wanted to lure in so they gave the part to her.

The next year my niece went up to the director of the show and said "Will I get a good part this year or should I just go inactive?"

It's like salespeople who act like they really, really like you and who hyper-focus on and amp-up anything positive... until you've bought what they're selling. Then whoosh, they're gone.

So did she get the part?

Yes, she got the part the second year! It's always good to know how things really work! ;)

they put stale treats on your porch in hopes that it will entice you to come back to church. Sometimes they leave a note, sometimes not.

Actually, there's no love in love-bombing. The members who are "reaching out" are actually specifically assigned to do so. When they fall short of their goals, they have to report to a committee (is it called the "Strengthening of the Members Committee?), and the committee comes up with other ideas.

How do you like the idea of a cult having group meetings, discussing your life and judging your life as falling short of their ideal, and making concrete, detailed plans how their cult can invade your precious family. I get furious, like a mother lion, when the Mormons try to manipulate my children. My children were love-bombed on Facebook, as well as at home. When they moved out and got their own houses, I would not give out their address or phone number for years. Finally, a senior missionary couple love-bombed a friend of my children, and got their information. First came the missionaries, then the lady missionaries, then the new bishopric, etc. One son said they were trespassing. The other son said he is a Lutheran. Both sons had equal success. The Mormons who sent the missionaries knew that my sons had resigned with me--yet they pressed forward.

Like missionary work, love-bombing is about numbers, and about popularity. The person who recruits gets high status in the ward. When they introduce a new "investigator", they have the love-bomber stand up and almost take a bow. When a new recruit is baptized, there are many tearful speeches, honoring the love-bomber and the missionaries who did the converting. A moment of glory. Also, love-bombing salespersons are promised much joy in Heaven with the spirit they "saved." Like, the love-bomber will own your soul forever--ugh.

I would take shunning, any day, over love-bombing. Actually, I would prefer TSCC to stop trying to control others, period.

My daughter had first hand experience with this. Well, at the beginning there was this one girl-Mormon- who my daughter felt sorry for - her parents were messed up so she was living with her aunt. Soon this friend introduced her to three other girls. The four hung out a lot but nothing really pushy yet....I saw a few things. Then they wanted to take her to some summer cabin where a bunch of late teen/early twenty girls were going to spend the night. I said NO....I don't know the owner, etc. Then they took her on "picnics" on Sun. aft. sometimes - lies I found out later, but I hated to question them when they were all in front of me. And we had just returned from our church and I was not in the mood to be ugly.

Well, within wks. she now had 20 friends who I did not know. Twice they came to my house.....sat in a circle on the family room floor and chit chatted and ate snacks....no churchy stuff in here as she knew better. Anyhow, she then told them after a month "I am not interested in converting" and I was so proud of her. Well those twenty deserted her in no time flat..... GONE. The other initial friends remained. After about 5 months I separated with the ex and they were back.....big time. You know the story - they prey on the vulnerable. Separation not my idea by the way. And within 7 months she was dating the one guy of the 20 from before. HE really was a jackmormon and I felt some relief. But after dating 8 months she said they were getting very serious. I knew I was doomed. She did hold off after her wedding (had a 60 day engagement) and didn't convert for 3 yrs. That was good. She had one child after converting. So lovebombing is real....they are insistent on making a score of a convert.....and they leave immediately if they do not.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/01/2013 12:50AM by honestone.

When I got inactive out of the blue some RS sisters would call me if I wanted to ride with them to a RS activity. All of a sudden their kids missed my kids and we should hang out so they can play together. Banana bread and cookies showed up at the doorstep. Many phone calls. Unannounced visits from EQP who happened to be just in the area and thought of us.
Invitations to baby shower's and play dates. Then we are needed to teach in RS and husband in EQ because nobody could teach the lesson except for us. Primary has not enough teachers and once again we are needed so much. Scouts needs help putting up flags. Someone needs a baby sitter and since I am a stay at home mom they thought of me.
I even got an e-mail I should translate something for them (use google translator works just as well).
Hmmm to me it is really just getting annoying and the fake smiles can stay away from us.