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Posted by: turnonthelights ( )
Date: September 01, 2013 05:12PM

The last 6 months have been wonderful. My husband has been inactive and our relationship has been doing better than ever. The Mormon grasp on him has lessened and I believe I have been more able to influence his beliefs in he church. We are moving across the country and will be living close to relatives. He has decided to attend church with them now. I am devastated and am feeling like this move was not a good idea. He has social anxiety issues and feels better about attending church when he doesn't have to go alone. I just keep thinking to myself that I shouldn't have chosen to move near Mormon family members :(

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Posted by: ck ( )
Date: September 01, 2013 05:16PM

Agh! I'm sorry! That has to be so frustrating to have come so far together and have this happen now. I worry about this with my own husband.

Love him, be patient, try to keep that connection that you've formed lately. I don't know what else to offer?

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Posted by: turnonthelights ( )
Date: September 01, 2013 05:21PM

I thought moving out of Utah would help us. One thing I have noticed with him is that when I push hard against the church it polarizes him and he gets very defensive of it. So I have really laid off and hoped he would somehow see the truth. He is so stubborn he doesn't want anyone telling him what to do or burst his make believe mormon bubble. I am fearing for our marriage now that he wnts to return. I know how many arguments and anger Mormonism has caused us.

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Posted by: jong1064 ( )
Date: September 01, 2013 09:51PM

Turnonthelights, I don't want this post to get lost because I think this is a very big issue among many on this board. I can understand your fear and disappointment. However, as you state, pushing him will only make it worse, and you truly don't know how this will play out. I know it's killing you, but try to hang in there and make his life more fun when he's with you and give the Morg plenty of rope to hang itself. Judging from past posts, I think he loves you and he will start to figure it out. All it will take is for the ward members to start their normal crazy social behavior and he will settle down. And if not, then you at least have your answer. I'm sorry. I know this sucks. But you will be okay whatever happens. You have us and you have your integrity and your open mind. Just remember to love him and don't do anything rash out of fear.

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Posted by: left4good ( )
Date: September 01, 2013 09:54PM

So sorry to hear it. Can't be fun. But there is a chance when you all arrive at your new place the ward won't be what he hopes.

Good luck. We are pulling for you.

Keep us posted.

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Posted by: Devoted Exmo ( )
Date: September 01, 2013 09:55PM

I'm sorry, I haven't followed your posts closely, so I am out of the loop. I was wondering, other than the fact that he wants to attend church, is there anything else that would cause you to worry about your marriage? Can you agree to disagree about your beliefs and his?

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Posted by: Glo ( )
Date: September 01, 2013 10:07PM

Moving close to Mormon family or - heaven forbid - into Utah, is never a good idea when you want to keep a spouse away from the cult.

Their tentacles will invariably encroach and try to suffocate you.

Looks like you haven't even moved yet and DH already is gearing up to please his family and the cult.
This does not bode well at all.

If you can apply the brakes to this move, by all means do so.

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Posted by: The Oncoming Storm - bc ( )
Date: September 01, 2013 10:09PM

This may turn out OK. It's pretty tough to go back to church and enjoy it after you stop going especially if you don't have beliefs. Is he will willing to continue to spend time to researching and looking at issues with you?

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Posted by: Bob...not registered ( )
Date: September 01, 2013 10:23PM

TOS nailed it.

If you love him, set him free. The truth will out.

He will be out, and confident in being out now that he has seen the other side. It might take a year or two, but support him as long as he is honest.

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Posted by: The 1st FreeAtLast ( )
Date: September 02, 2013 04:17AM

...July 1993 Ensign article by Mormon apostle Russell Nelson. Here's the quote from his piece:

"Joseph Smith would put the seer stone into a hat, and put his face in the hat, drawing it closely around his face to exclude the light; and in the darkness the spiritual light would shine. A piece of something resembling parchment would appear, and on that appeared the writing. One character at a time would appear, and under it was the interpretation in English. Brother Joseph would read off the English to Oliver Cowdery, who was his principal scribe, and when it was written down and repeated to Brother Joseph to see if it was correct, then it would disappear, and another character with the interpretation would appear. Thus the Book of Mormon was translated by the gift and power of God, and not by any power of man.”

(Ref. https://www.lds.org/ensign/1993/07/a-treasured-testament?lang=eng)

And here's what the LDS Church's The Friend magazine told Mormon children in the September 1974 issue:

"Joseph also used an egg-shaped, brown rock for translating [the BoM] called a seer stone. The translating was done at Peter Whitmer’s home, a friend of the Prophet’s where Oliver Cowdery, Emma Smith (Joseph’s wife), one of the Whitmers, or Martin Harris wrote down the words spoken by the Prophet as soon as they were made known to him.

"Martin Harris said that on the seer stone 'sentences would appear and were read by the Prophet and written by [the one writing them down] and when finished [that person] would say "written;" and if correctly written, the sentence would disappear and another take its place; but if not written correctly it remained until corrected, so that the translation was just as it was engraven on the plates.'

"Even with the help of the Urim and Thummim and the seer stone, it wasn’t easy to translate the sacred record. It required the Prophet’s greatest concentration and spiritual strength."

(Ref. https://www.lds.org/friend/1974/09/a-peaceful-heart?lang=eng)

Ask your husband if he actually believes that JS "translated" the BoM using one or two magical rocks and his hat?

And here's one of JS' written First Vision stories from the LDS Church's Joseph Smith Papers website:

"I retired to the silent grove and bowd down before the Lord, under a realising sense that he had said (if the bible be true) ask and you shall recieve knock and it shall be opened seek and you shall find and again, if any man lack wisdom let him ask of God who giveth to all men liberally and upbradeth not; information was what I most desired at this time, and with a fixed determination I to obtain it, I called upon the Lord for the first time, in the place above stated or in other words I made a fruitless attempt to pray, my toung seemed to be swolen in my mouth, so that I could not utter, I heard a noise behind me like some person walking towards me, <I> strove again to pray, but could not, the noise of walking seem ed to draw nearer, I sprung up on my feet, and... (See p. 1 at http://josephsmithpapers.org/paperSummary/interview-9-november-1835)

"...and looked around, but saw no person or thing that was calculated to produce the noise of walking, I kneeled again my mouth was opened and my toung liberated, and I called on the Lord in mighty prayer, a pillar of fire appeared above my head, it presently rested down upon my <me> head, and filled me with joy unspeakable, a personage appeard in the midst, of this pillar of flame which was spread all around, and yet nothing consumed, another personage soon appeard like unto the first, he said unto me thy sins are forgiven thee, he testifyed unto me that Jesus Christ is the son of God; <and I saw many angels in this vision> I was about 14. years old when I recieved this first communication; (See p. 2 at http://josephsmithpapers.org/paperSummary/interview-9-november-1835)

JS with a "toung" that "seemed to be swolen" in his mouth just before the First Vision, eh? Well, why no mention of the "actual being from the unseen world, who had such marvelous power as I had never before felt in any being" that supposedly took control of JS' tongue and immersed him in "thick darkness", causing him to feel that he "was ready to sink into despair" and "abandon myself to destruction", per his FV story of early 1838, the one that became the foundation of LDS theology? (See verses 15-17 at https://www.lds.org/scriptures/pgp/js-h/1.15-17?lang=eng for the official First Vision narrative).

Info. about JS' conflicting FV stories is at http://mit.irr.org/joseph-smiths-changing-first-vision-accounts

If you haven't done so, I suggest that you purchase a copy of Grant Palmer's "An Insider's View of Mormon Origins" and give it to your husband (ref. http://signaturebooks.com/2010/02/an-insiders-view-of-mormon-origins-2/). Amazon.com and Abebooks.com have used copies.

Your husband should also read historian Dr. D. Michael Quinn's masterful "Early Mormonism and the Magic World View" (ref. http://signaturebooks.com/2010/02/early-mormonism-and-the-magic-world-view/).

You need to have a frank discussion with your husband. Mormonism is a demonstrable fraud. The Book of Mormon is - provably - a work of fiction (see "Losing a Lost Tribe: Native Americans, DNA, and the Mormon Church" for related info. - ref. http://signaturebooks.com/2010/02/losing-a-lost-tribe-native-americans-dna-and-the-mormon-church/). JS was a consummate liar and adulterer (see http://www.wivesofjosephsmith.org/ for details).

Your husband is going to have to grow some b*lls and a spine in relation to his family. He needs to define boundaries w/ them, including NOT attending the chronically dishonest LD$ Church. He is NOT a little boy who needs to placate them. He needs to act like an independent ADULT!

You need to make it clear to your husband what is and is not acceptable in relation to his regressive participation in cultic Mormonism. For example, is he going to start paying tithing, which will negatively impact the household budget and your retirement savings as a couple?

Your husband has some critical growing up to do. There is a TON of info. (facts) online about cultic Mormonism; he should be reviewing it.

In the final analysis, if you find that his participation in Mo-ism starts to negatively affect your life, don't hesitate to give him an ultimatum: You, or his family members and the LDS Church. He'll have to make up his mind what's more important to him. If he opts for the latter, I suggest that you get a divorce and move on with your life. You cannot save him; he has to want to stay away from the grossly unethical LDS Church himself.

Ultimately, the quality of your life is your responsibility.

I hope that your husband wakes up and realizes that his decision to participate in Mo-ism again is unwise.

Good luck!

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Posted by: antipodeanheathen ( )
Date: September 02, 2013 08:56AM

Give him something way better to do on Sunday's than bother his imaginary deity.

Use your imagination, make Sunday's a fabulous non-church time. If he wants to go to church anyway, still go ahead without him. He will soon stop, think and realise he is the one missing out. Just make sure he's always welcome.

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Posted by: breedumyung ( )
Date: September 02, 2013 09:39AM

A few visits back to the chapel ought to do it for him.

5 minutes of SM and he'll be late for the door.

"credit to Bob Seger"

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Posted by: Leah ( )
Date: September 02, 2013 10:59AM

Giving him something better to do on Sundays will not work when his family shows up at your doorstep every weekend to take him to church.

Seems he has already made up his mind to go with them.
I would NOT move close to his family.

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Posted by: diablo ( )
Date: September 02, 2013 11:15AM

Why would you want to be with someone who worships Lucifer?

Aren't you worried about going to hell?

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