What did you think of your temple wedding? I'm especially interested in the woman's perspective.

These may be stupid questions but while I was an active, temple going Mormon I was never married and never attended a temple wedding before.

What was it like (aside from the endowment ceremony)? Was it different than what you expected? How is it different than a regular wedding? Did you wish it was like a non-Mormon wedding in certain aspects?

Sorry, not a woman, but how about a gay man's perspective?

I thought it was pretty cool at the time. It was just like I expected it to be, since I'd been to several of my siblings' and friends' weddings.

I dared to think that maybe I COULD be a straight man. Getting married in the temple felt like the right thing to do at the time. But I was definitely wrong about being straight.

Since I knew what it was like before I got married, I wasn't really disappointed. But we had a fantastic Groom's breakfast, and a great reception at The Homestead in Midway.

Looking back, I'm disappointed to know that the temple part of our wedding was based on a fraudulent religious tradition started by a con man & pedophile.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/05/2013 12:25AM by PapaKen.

Before getting married, I did the endowment thing which I found revolting and just kept wondering if this experience could get any weirder.

And then it did. The wedding ceremony was a HUGE let-down to me. I felt like we were mainly getting preached to, and this was not what I wanted my wedding ceremony to be. When it was all over, I had a headache and asked myself this question, "what have I just been through?" I had tons of other quesions.

I had grown up believing that this would be the most wonderful day of my life. Instead, it was both the weirdest and most disappointing day of my life. I felt overwhelmed, and wondered how anyone could ever make sense of what I had experienced. It definitely was not what I expected or wanted to happen.

I thought it was a let down as well. Lots was said, but I really can't remember a single thing. It was kind of like a boring high council talk.

Ah, my temple wedding. What a day.

I had never been to a temple wedding before so even though I'd been to the temple a couple of times since receiving my endowment I had no idea what to expect that morning dh and I were married.

I was nervous and excited. I knew I loved the him and that I wanted to marry him. The morning started off rough b/c while the rest of my family was ready on time, including me, my aunt was running way late and she didn't know how to get to the temple. This was in the days before smart phones and GPS systems, so we had to wait on her, which made us arrive at the temple almost 30 minutes late. That added considerable stress to what is always a stressful event (albeit happy stress) anyway.

I was taken back to the bride's room and was surprised to see clothing and bags belonging to another bride. I was married in a weekday at a smaller temple and thought b/c of that I'd have the place a little more to myself.

The temple worker who helped me was not the angelic sweetheart that I had been told I would have helping me. The woman was a pill and I was so frustrated with her! She had been unhelpful the whole time but the pinnacle of the morning and the only specific I'll share about her was when she decided that my veil (the ugly temple one, not the beautiful handmade one a friend had made for me to match my gorgeous dress) was too far back on my head. Instead of letting me know that she thought I needed to move it farther forward (which I didn't agree with, especially given that my hairstyle was a low chignon), she pulled it out of my hair without warning. In the process my hair became tangled in the comb and she destroyed my hairstyle in a few seconds' time. I was so mad at her I could have spit nails. I couldn't fix my hair, we were already running behind, and instead of feeling peaceful and happy I was filled with murderous rage! She left the bride's room and I took a few minutes to calm myself down.

Fortunately someone had told me that I would be putting all my ceremonial temple clothing on over the top of my wedding dress, but even so I was disappointed in how I looked going to meet the man I loved. There was nothing pretty about it and frankly, he looked less than I imagined too. But I realized that these things were superficial and we were going to be married in the temple and that was what really mattered.

The ceremony where he took me through the veil was nothing special. I had expected it to feel more meaningful. It bothered me even then as a TBMx10 that I told him my new name but he was unable to tell me his.

As for the sealing itself, the room was so quiet it felt awkward to me. I was so excited to be marrying my guy that I was, truly, happy. But I was also disappointed by how plain the ceremony was. I didn't like that I didn't know exactly what our covenants were to be ahead of time. And it was deflating that my only contribution to the entire ceremony was when I got to say one word: "Yes." That was it.

Meanwhile, my veil was falling out of my hair and my hair was falling out of its style, so I looked like a wreck. The look-in-the-mirror-and-see-your-eternal-reflection thing wasn't as special as I had expected it to be. We were permitted to exchange rings in the sealing room, but only as an afterthought and that was awkward too. And then afterward we had to stand there while our family and friends came by and in very quiet, hushed tones told us how beautiful it had all been.

Overall, I found the entire event to be impersonal and dissatisfying. It was not pretty or lovely. We had no opportunity to speak to each other or confirm our love. There was no music, no special readings and frankly, I looked like bloody hell b/c of that stupid temple worker.

At the end of the day, I was married to the man I loved and that's all that mattered. Thinking forward to my own children's weddings, though, I'd rather not go that route.

THIS. almost verbatim.... besides the hair incident, that is awful.

I had no clue what to expect for a temple marriage.. but everyone tells you how "wonderful" and "magical" it will be. So, of course, being a good little TBM, I was excited to go along with it and excited to see what it was!


What a let down!!


I was so annoyed that I bought a "temple-modest" dress only to have it all covered up for the ceremony. really?? I wanted to feel like a beautiful bride, instead in the mirror, I thought we looked wierd. I also wish we could have exchanged vows.. I would have loved to say "I do." instead of "yes"... they wont let you say anything else. There was no magic to it at all.

Anyways, I'm happy with the man I married, so I was very happy about that part... but the actual ceremony left a lot to be desired. We've talked about renewing our vows.

Not sure why I even bothered to bring a ring..they told me we could exchange rings after the cult Ceremony

I hated it

I was shellshocked, it was an non enjoyable blur. I kept looking at my dad who would smile like he felt bad for me and would not make eye contact. Years later, after about 3 hours into a masonic ritual I had my OH MY GOD JESUS! this is where he got the whole thing!!!

I did not feel it then, but I do now looking back, I was getting married to the church, initiated into a sex/love= obedience to your leaders.

Having behaved (very hypocritically, I might add - I have written about this before, under "Discernment") like the very embodiment of a picture-perfect Molly just so I could get a TR to attend my son's wedding, I thought it was a serious disillusionment.

No music. No flowers. No attendants. Nothing to make it distinctive or different in any way from anybody else's wedding. Just plain COOKIE-CUTTER. The kids didn't even know the old dude who sealed them. So of course he had nothing special to say to either of them, about how he remembered my son from Scouts, or anything like that. It was just blah, blah, blah and then it was over and they were married.

I told my husband later, "You didn't miss anything." He replied, "I know. I've been through one myself, remember? It didn't work."

And now my granddaughter, who was just baptized a year ago, is being groomed to believe that her temple wedding will be the crowing day of her life. She is an extremely bright little girl, who could achieve anything she wanted - but she is being exposed to such a limited number of options, it is so sad. I don't see her enough or spend enough time with her to be able to expose her to the real world and what's out there.

It was a happy day for us but truth be told the actual sealing itself was probably my least favorite part of the day. I felt frustrated that they were SO concerned that no other part of the day overshadow the actual ceremony (like the ban on tuxes at the temple). They seemed like such trivial things and I couldn't ever figure out why bridesmaides wearing their formal dresses or men wearing tuxes on the temple grounds meant somehow that they were taking away from the ceremony experience. I was married in 2001 and I remember loving ivory wedding dresses and such but only stark bright white dresses were allowed. It wasn't really socially acceptable at the time to wear any other color afterward so I felt stuck with what was acceptable at the time.

I also thought it was dissapointing that I already had a modest wedding gown but they required us to add these dickeys onto the neckline and onto my sleeves. As if the ceremonial clothes weren't odd enough. I was also worried that our sealer would use this time as preaching time. Thankfully our sealer was pretty personal towards us, but I've attended other sealings in the past that were hardly so.

I was stupid in that I went along with my hubby's wishes and got married in a temple in the middle of nowhere in central Utah. It didn't bother me then but now I wish we would have had options regarding photographers and venues to have a nice luncheon/reception after. There were VERY few options in that tiny town and money was tight so I guess it was nice that my MIL had a meal catered (ie a friend made it) at a local meeting house gymnasium. Looking back I'm dissapointed that our luncheon to celebrate the best day of our lives was hosted in a GYM.

Another frustration of mine was that funds were so scarce for weddings. My parents made a pretty good incomes. But once you accounted for tithing, fast offerings, missions, college on top of family expenses a wedding was at the bottom of the list of priority for many. My entire wedding cost 3K which my parents chipped in for since both my hubby and I were juniors in college. I sometimes wonder now how things could have been different if it had been socially acceptable for us to be a "couple" in every sense of the word and marry even two years later. Our incomes were drastically different after we both started our careers and could have afforded a beautiful wedding. And I'm not even talking about a lavish wedding.... just a luncheon at somewhere besides a gym. I really wish we would have exchanged vows to each other.... I think that is such a beautiful part of a wedding.

This was like my temple experience, too. CK described it very well. We were not late, but we were rushed through, and the matrons were cranky. That heavy veil and awkward headpiece would ruin any hairdo. It smashed mine close to my head, and the humidity caused it to frizz.

My temple wedding was probably the worst day of my life, because I married the wrong man. The phony sicky-sweet gentle giant fiancee turned into a violent wife-beater, immediately after the ceremony. Anyway, back to the subject. We did the endowment and the wedding one after the other, because the temple was far away. I had been up since 4:00 am. The whole thing--from having my loins anointed (touched) to be fruitful, to vowing obedience to my husband (instead of to God), to consecrating everything I had to the cult--was creepy and de-humanizing. I was extremely upset by it, and actually felt the rituals and chants were satanic. I became sick to my stomach, and had to leave the ceremonies several times, which made the matrons more angry than usual. I still have nightmares of my husband's sweaty, bloated face in that baker's hat. I had only known him a few months, and I had not seen him all summer. He looked repulsive to me, when I met him at the bus station two days before our wedding. I felt it was too late to back out, and that it was probably just "wedding jitters."

The Mormon temple wedding ceremony is "impersonal and rushed" at best. But for me, it was cold and institutional. The word love is not mentioned at all in the ceremony! Neither is the word "cherish." It is all about obedience to the church. The couple are pronounced "husband-and-wife-under-the-new-and-everlasting-covenant" all in one sentence. BTW, the "new and everlasting covenant" means polygamy in the hereafter. The words were so strict and dictatorial, that I felt I was being punished, somehow. When I was forced to cover my face with that heavy veil, I couldn't breathe. I had to concentrate on not being sick.

Fast forward through a fast divorce from the temple husband, who I didn't know had a history of violence, had beaten his sister and sent her to the hospital, and ended up doing the same to me, a second marriage several years later, and finally children....

My daughter was married in the temple, and I managed to be there, by paying 5 months worth of tithing out of my own earnings (over $15,000!) I told my daughter and fiancee that I would give that amount directly to them, if they would have a normal wedding that included everyone, and wait a year for the temple stuff. They said they were believers, and they wanted me in the temple with them. After the ceremony, my daughter broke down crying, and said, "That was NOT what I thought my wedding would be like." Her hair was destroyed, too, and her dress got torn on the lockers, or somewhere. The temple was so crowded that brides and grooms were lined up at the photo places on the temple grounds, and the pictures took forever, in 100-degree heat. We barely had time to try to repair her hair and dress for the reception. Fortunately, I gave her the reception she wanted, and everyone had a great time--including all her bridesmaids, and her own brothers, and the groom's brothers, who were all unmarried and/or too young to be at the temple wedding. Her father, also, had to wait in the waiting room for the unworthy, too. The groom followed through with a great honeymoon, so all's well that ends well, for her, except she is trapped in a satanic cult.

Since I lived overseas, we were married 4 years and had a son before going to the temple. I was treated no different than any other trip being the male half of the pair. The ladies were nice to my bride and the nursery took good care if my son. He was less than a year old.

Since my bride did not speak English very well they were prepared with cards and headphones. The translation was not entirely accurate, but was understandable. I did revise if on the fly at the veil, but they were none the wiser.

We had a simple sealing ceremony.

After it was over I cannot say I experienced joy or happiness like I was promised.

I don't understand why outside of the U.S. it is acceptable to have a civil ceremony and not even have to wait a year.

I would advise anyone to have the wedding of their dreams and wait the time.

My brother did the temple thing then had a civil ceremony ring and vows and all later that same day.

What are they gonna do wag their fingers and shake their heads?

I HATED the temple ceremony, going back to being felt up and mock throat slashing day one. Having had a friend who actually had their throat cut MORmON temple penalty style by the time I was temple married did not make things any better. I really did not want to be there. It had already been given away to me that there were no actual divine manifestations in the temple, as previously expected before actually having had the extreme let down experience of being endowed, there is really just some stupid CRAP like hoaky secret handshakes that a person was supposed to be impressed with.

Bottom line is that I had no one to blame but myself for going back to this abuse, for putting up with such CRAP and IDIOCY, for not objecting, because I knew what the secret was by then, and I knew that it SUCKED. The first time I was tricked. I cant believe I allowed myself to go back, some years later to be (STUPID) secret handshake sealed / married.

I'm going to jump in though I was not married in the temple because no one has answered the part about what it's like.

The couple is made to wear their temple robes, green apron and all in the locker rooms or bride's room. They are separately escorted to the sealing room where their friends and family are already waiting. An officiator is there, dressed in white pants, shirt, suit and tie. Some temples allow friends and family to be dressed in street clothes (probably all by now). So the guests look normal, the bride and groom look like freaks.

People like to say it's beautiful because they're dressed in white. But you're actually married wearing green--that ugly apron--and white.

The couple kneel across from one another at the altar. The officiator says some incantations and makes the couple go through the tokens and grips of the priesthood. Don't remember if they go through all of them. But the final one, the Patriarchal grip or sure sign of the nail must be done for the sealing. So bride and groom hold hands in the Patriarchal grip while the officiator says words about the everlasting covenant and asks if they will live the covenant. He never mentions marriage. The couple says "Yes."

The officiator then waxes poetic and shares some personal words of advice on how to have a good marriage. Finally the couple gets up from the altar, greets friends and family, and walk out to return to the lockerrooms. Not sure if they're allowed a few minutes in the celestial room if they want, guess it depends on if they ask.

They change into the clothes they want for pictures, walk out to the grounds where friends and family have gathered. They can then leave from there.

I really liked my temple wedding. Yes, I admit it. I loved the beautiful atmosphere, the mirrors, the part where we knelt across the alter etc. . . Wearing the endowment garb over my dress was a little odd, but I was able to deal with that just fine. Because it wasn't about me; it was about God and commitment and starting a happy life with the man I'd chosen to be with forever.

The nightmare began after the ceremony, when my new husband's true colors started to come out. He was angry that I hadn't followed his instructions to the letter after I got out of the changing room. Angry that I cared about my parent's feelings. Angry that he couldn't micromanage everything and everybody the day we were married. He looked perfectly happy when we took pictures after, but the moment we climbed into the car on my own, he let me have it! The happiness was just an act. What a shock. :-(

I probably should have ended it then, but I was too naive. And besides, I loved him.

I was never married in the temple but I was never comfortable leaving my father out of my marriage, should it ever happen, just because he wasn't Mormon. I don't know what I would have done but hurting his feelings was not going to be part of my marriage. I'm so glad I never married in the temple.

My only experience was once going to the marriage of a friend in the temple. I thought it really bizarre because she was sealed to her first husband who had died. Her second marriage, in the temple, was for time only. I just remember her saying after it that she wanted to be sealed to husband number two after she died. What a horrible thing to have to talk about on your wedding day. She has made it clear that she wants SOMEONE to make sure she is sealed to her current husband who is the father of her children so she doesn't have to be with her first husband. What a crock!

I'm not a woman, but thought I'd reply. The temple wedding led me to where I am today on how I feel about the church. My parents couldn't attend and I wanted to show them why it was important to have a temple wedding. Temple prep classes didn't really help any, so I began to look online.

I honestly got worried (no way JS ripped much of it off from the masons) so stopped doing research. But, what I had read stayed in the back of my mind. We did the endowment on the previous Saturday and the wedding the next Saturday. The endowment was weird... The wedding ceremony was lame.

It almost felt like I married the cojcolds.

I'm a man but I felt good because it was what I was suppose to do. I loved/love my wife so being married to her was the highlight of my life.

The ceremony was the normal ceremony. I thought the room was lovely.

My wedding was the opposite of what I had always imagined in my head as a little girl. I didn't get to wear my beautiful wedding dress, instead we wore temple clothes while everyone else sat there in their regular street clothes. I felt ridiculous how we were dressed and felt like we were made to be some spectacle. My dad did not get to walk me down the aisle, he instead waited outside the temple wih our other parents who could not be there. Our younger siblings and best friends could not be in there or stand as groomsmen and bridesmaids with us. There was no exchanging of vows to my sweet husband.. We barely were able to exchange rings. I regret my wedding ceremony every day of my life, I did what I thought I was supposed to then. I hope one day my husband an I can renew our vows and do it right.

Does one really get married in the temple?
Sounds like it is really just a "sealing"

OK, you asked for it.

I was married the first time in the temple. I was the faithful returned missionary and my ex was still in high school when we met. We dated her senior year in school and when she graduated HS we were married in the temple.

The idiot who married us was effing stupid. The wedding was boring and since we were married at 7am and had been up since 4 am I was almost falling asleep until I heard this. "I bless you as a couple with one year of fighting. This fighting will bring you closer together." WTF???!!!

Yep he "blessed" us with a year of fighting. Of course, since the whole church is a fraud what he said had nothing to do with the fact that we fought like rabid dogs for just about one year. By the end of that year, the fighting along with numerous church related problems my ex suffered from, our marriage was basically over but my ex had a miscarriage during that first year and almost bled to death as a result of a doctor who didn't want to be bothered on Christmas Eve with a woman having a miscarriage. So rather than end it like I should have my heart ached for her and the pain she had gone through so I stayed. 31 years later I finally ended it.

Anyway, my temple marriage was a joke. There was no warm fuzzy feeling, it was cold and impersonal and the fucking idiot told us to fight for the first year.

Eeee.
It was all a blur but I remember still being freaked out by the endownment that I had two days earlier. My dad's side of the family was still being an ass (they oppossed the wedding), and that was stressing me out. No one on my mom's side, including my mom, came because they were not mormon. I was going to have a ring ceremony, but was pressured out of it by TBMs.
I woke up early on my wedding day to have my friend, a great hair dresser, do my hair. Right when she was getting ready to do my hair, she got a phone call that her father had a heart attack and was in the hospital. She wanted to stay, but wth? Go to the hospital! I told her to go. I ended up with just a pony tail for my wedding , since I fail with hair lol

The ceremony, I remember being very awkward/weird. Just sitting across from my fiancee in weird outfits in a weird handshake. No, I thought it would be more beautiful. No mention of love, and did I just promise to "give myself" to my husband only, but the wording was different for my husband... Why was that? Well, no time for questions! The words spoken by whoever sealed us were not significant. I can't even remember what he said.

The whole time I could feel my step mom/father/sister huffing. If I had to do it again, I would tell them to screw themselves and not to come at all. They made the my whole engagement awful.

Then I hurried up to get dressed in my "modest" wedding dress. It wasn't the dress I imagined. I remember trying on a GORGEOUS dress at David's Bridal, but I could not wear it because it was sleeveless.

My friend's dad ended up dying that day, and my dog!
So, really not the best of days.

But good introduction to the whole marriage thing in general. Major letdown.

The wedding day was a blur. No one had told me I'd have to put the clown costume on over my wedding dress and had to wear the silly polygamist-looking veil instead of my wedding veil. They just told me that the wedding day would be so much nicer than the horrible throat-slashing endowment thing since I didn't have to do an endowment that day. But in the L.A. temple in the 70s everyone who went to the sealing still had to be dressed in all white, so I thought I was covered because of the wedding dress. So the whole time I was just trying to hold back my disappointment.

As a young morgbot, I was so excited to look in the eternity mirrors and seeing us going on forever. I didn't even want to look when I saw how ugly we looked in that getup.

We did have a fun reception, but I was so tired after getting up at 4:00 a.m., driving over 2 hours each way to the temple, running all day. And hubby just pestered me to leave (while everyone else was dancing to a fun band), so we could screw. To answer your questions, no, it was not what I expected and YES, I was wishing I'd had a real non-mormon type wedding.

My wedding day is pretty much a blur. I just remember being VERY HOT. I wore my wedding dress and a dickie underneath because it was short sleeved. Then, of course, I wore garments and temple robes and veil. With all that clothing, I felt like a sweaty mess.

The first temple wedding I went to was my own. I remember being really disappointed how ugly I felt on my own wedding day. I always pictured myself feeling radiant and looking beautiful in my wedding dress! My temple dress was gorgeous, but it didn't matter with everything on top of it. I was disappointed when I learned that we had to wear the whole temple deal at my own wedding. I felt so silly as everyone else looked nice in their street clothes. But I figured I just needed to focus on the meaning of it.

It was a tough day for me because I was struggling to feel "worthy". My now-husband and I had to talk to the bishop before we got our recommends and it was....a terrible experience. We didn't have sex or anything even CLOSE to that (no touching of certain places). But we were making out on top of each other. I told our bishop in my interview just as a 'I'm not sure if this is bad, but I figured I'd let you know' kind of thing. It took him an HOUR to decide if he thought we were worthy enough to get married. He interrogated us for an hour, asking us extremely personal questions. (He was the kind of bishop that felt that holding hands could be too "stimulating" of an experience and might be a bad idea while you're engaged. I'm not kidding. He actually told us that.) Needless to say, it was the worst hour of my life. I can't ever remember a more sickening, terrifying moment in my life so far. He finally consented to giving us our recommends, but I was scarred. I struggled to feel "worthy" for the next 3 years. My wedding day was awful because I was worried that God would condemn me for making covenants unworthily. That experience was the starting point of my journey out of TSCC. I was the most TBM you had ever met. I was willing to sacrifice anything, do anything, and be anything for TSCC. It took me years to realize that God would never, EVER give a mortal man the power of God to decide if I was good enough. It's just a cult method of control.


But the hardest thing about my wedding was the fact that I was the only member on my side of the family, and the only active members on my husbands side was his aunt and grandma. Needless to say, there were less than 10 people at our sealing. Looking back on it, I wish I had gotten civilly married. The only comfort I got about my wedding was that I was told a temple wedding is worth any sacrifice. Bunch of crap. My own parents couldn't be there on the most important day of my life. It hurts to think about what I did to them. It was so hard for them to be kept from seeing their only daughter get married, but they were so incredibly supportive. I am so lucky to have them.

Of all the regrets I have in my life, getting married in the temple is the biggest one, because it drew a line between me and my own family. I'm happy to be destroying that line now.

I had been to a temple wedding before my own, thanks to having served a mission and been through the endowment. So I knew what to expect. Honestly, if I hadn't been LDS, I'd have just taken my closest family and friends, found a beach somewhere and had a short ceremony at sunset. And a very simple reception/dinner after. I really hate being the center of attention unlike most brides - I'd have kept it simple, simple, simple. But that is just me. However, because I wanted it as quick and simple as possible, and because I was "forewarned," the temple thing didn't bother me that much. I knew ahead of time it wasn't beautiful or magical. Plus, for some reason my mom was totally cold and stand-offish the whole day. I don't know why - she got her way having me marry an RM in the temple. But she acted like a military commander issuing orders, rather than a happy mother of the bride. She never once congratulated me or told me she was proud of me or happy for me or even that she couldn't believe I was all grown up. Nothing.

However, I do regret that my dad and my sister were not allowed to be there. Dad's a nevermo and my sister was too young. And that is one of the few things about my years as a Mormon that brings tears of regret to my eyes. I'm so angry that they stole that from me - my right to have the wedding I wanted. I didn't miss the fancy but I missed my people. We are seriously thinking of doing a vow renewal for our 20th so Dad and my sister can be there. The only problem is my mom will sulk, thinking we are mocking our temple vows and DH will probably be uncomfortable too. When he feels uncomfortable, he's known for picking fights with me. I don't think I can endure another messed up wedding. I may just give up the whole idea.

It was our first time through the temple and neither of us knew what to expect. My parents were there but my siblings were not, they were too young. My husband was a convert and had no relatives in attendance.

They made us sign a paper upon entrance before separating us and doing the naked touching thing. The whole thing freaked me out and I hated having oil rubbed on my head after fixing my hair for the wedding. Instead of anything spiritual, the thought going through my head was...I expected to get felt up on my wedding day, just not by some 100 year old woman.

I put on my wedding dress. My mother had told me no one was allowed to wear jewelry or opened toe shoes in the temple so I was irritated to see other women in such attire.

I looked ridiculous wearing a green apron over my wedding dress with that ugly veil on my head. Then I saw my husband. He looked traumatized in his baker's hat. They allowed us to sit beside each other through the session. They said if anyone wanted to leave, now was the time. We stared at each other. When we were supposed raise our hands and make the promise. We raised our hands but neither of us said a word.

They bought us up front and took my husband behind the veil. It was my turn. I felt his hand and could hear his voice through the veil and I knew no matter what else happened, everything was going to be okay. He was still with me. I could get through this as long as I had him.

The Celestial room was boring, not beautiful as promised. I asked all of the questions I wanted answers to but was told I had to wait until coming to the temple to learn. I was told this was not the place to ask questions and would more on subsequent visits to the temple.

I was ushered to the bridal room. My mother proceeded to mash down my hair trying to make me have bangs (I didn't). I was angry with her for tricking me into believing the temple was a special place and didn't want her touching me. She was part of the deception.

We went to the sealing room. It was a bright, ugly orange. I was still wearing that green apron and awful veil. I laughed because I felt like I was dressed up for Halloween. The magic mirrors made it worse. I could see myself look ugly for infinity.

We knelt across the alter facing each other. My husband's face was pale and he looked like he might throw up. I couldn't contain it any longer, and I laughed. Everyone else was somber and acted like I was being irreverent, which made me laugh harder. My husband squeezed my hands tightly. He confessed later that he was scared I was going to bolt out of the room. I squeezed back. I wasn't going anywhere until they said we were husband and wife. We listened to a boring, sermon-like talk, from a total stranger and said our yes's. They allowed us to exchange rings and then led us to another room downstairs to change clothes--together--in the same room. Before shutting the door, they told us not to have sex while still in the temple. Eewwh! Like that's where I wanted my first time to be? It was so bizarre.

After changing clothes at lightening speed, we asked if we were supposed to sign papers for our marriage to be legal. They laughed and said that they had us sign those before we ever went through the temple. That we had been married since we first walked in that morning! I felt duped. Had we known, we would have run out the door when offered.

My husband didn't want to talk about what happened after we left the temple. And he didn't want to have sex with me that day or night. He was so upset and traumatized about what had happened that he was questioning whether we should have the marriage annulled. He thought I had been a part of the deception. After all, I had been raised in the church...how could I not know what happened in the temple?! When he realized that I was as shocked (and unhappy) as he was about the whole ordeal, we were able to talk it out and work through it. He still wanted to be married to me, just needed reassurance that I was on the same page about what we had just gone through. I told him there was no way I would ever go back to the temple, even if he begged me. He had my clothes off in seconds.

My in-laws resented me for not being able to attend the wedding. My parents threatened to disown me if we didn't get married in the temple. It was horrible all around. My in-laws still haven't forgiven us and resent me and refuse to accept our children. I still hear comments that they don't know for a fact that we're actually married since they weren't there to witness it.

Our children arranged a small ceremony (just the kids and us) and remarried us on our anniversary last year. We said our vows, laughed, cried and had cake afterwards. It was perfect.

Getting married in the temple is what started our exit out of the church.

What year were you married? because things have changed. The marriage papers are signed in the sealing room.

Getting married in the temple was our exit out of the church too... though it took about 5 years.

We were married in 1993.

We went inactive right away. I didn't know resigning was an option until I found this site years ago. I still have our "You're no longer a member..." letters! That was a happy day!

I was TBM at the time, so I'd been through several times before as a mishy. My wife, however, was a few years convert from Judaism, so having been her first time, and of course not being able to describe in any detail what was about to occur, I think she thought it was bizarre to say the least. The sealing part I think she was OK with except for the goofy temple clothes.

I had been a member of the church a little over a year when I got married in the temple. We flew to Utah 3 days early, and I was thrilled to see the Salt Lake Temple that night. It was my birthday, and it was the first time I'd seen a temple.

We stayed with my husband's cousin the first 2 nights. During the day we got the paperwork handled and walked around SLC. Finally on Friday we drove to Manti with a guy from our ward, and the sister missionaries who had taught me. It was dark when we got to Manti and I could see the tiny temple all lit up while we were still far away. I was in awe! It was beautiful.

We spent the night in some old motel across the street from the temple, but didn't get much sleep. I stayed up talking to the 2 sisters with me.

In the morning we went to the temple and did all sorts of paperwork that seemed to take forever. Then I got my "packet" and was taken to the bride's room to get ready. I don't remember much of that.

Then I went to get my endowment. I was lost. This was a live session and we moved from room to room. I was sitting next to the woman of the witness couple. So, when we stood up to walk to the next room, she held the hand of the man that was walking next to her. I thought we were all supposed to walk hand in hand, even though the man next to me was a stranger. Boy, was I confused.

I took everything so seriously and tried to remember everything perfectly. I believed that if this is what the Church says God wants us to do, then it must be right.

Like others, it bothered me that I had to tell my husband my new name, but he never told me.

After going through the veil we hung out in the Celestial room for about an hour. It was a Saturday and there were a lot of people getting married, so we had to wait our turn.

With the exception of my husband's cousin and her husband, we had no family with us for our wedding. I was so caught up in doing what was right, that I just didn't really give sufficient thought to what my parents (non-mormons), or his parents (mom was lds, but unendowed) must have felt.

As we were kneeling across the altar before the ceremony started, he and I play a couple of games of "thumb wars." :)

Afterwards we ate lunch in the cafeteria in the temple. That was good. We rode back to SLC in the back of a VW bug. My husband and I and the guy from our ward were in the back seat. My husband kept trying to put his hand up my skirt because now that we were married, it was allowed. I kept trying to stop him because we were not alone. But he pretty much said that he was the boss. I still fought him on it, so it wasn't a great trip.

So, I was glad that I chose to be married in the temple at the time. I believed it was the right thing to do.

You can find out his name using the temple name oracle.

http://www.fullerconsideration.com/templenameoracle.php

When the temple officiator (Los Angeles, 1989) heard that I was keeping my maiden name, and that we were exchanging rings at our reception so that my non-member parents could have something to look forward to, he said to me, "I feel sorry for your husband. You are a controlling woman, and your marriage will end in divorce."

That is what I remember most from my temple wedding.

We have been married 24 years, and it hasn't always been a bed of roses. The biggest wedge between us? The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, including its callings, demands on time, and regulation underware. But, so much for the temple officiator's prediction. I'm glad we've proven him wrong.

Wouldn't it have been great to retort: "I don't know you, so I would never so arrogantly pretend I knew anything whatsoever about your future. However, right at this moment I can assure you that you're being an unrighteous, fucking asshole."

A woman telling off a penishood holder, in the temple, and dropping the f bomb all at the same time.

Now *that* would be a thing of beauty!

I wonder what would happen - would they cancel the sealing, kick you out, call the temple police, fine you an extra 10% tithing payment for a period of months as repentance -- what?

I read an 1850's newspaper article, where the Mormon referred to the endowment ceremony as "the ordeal".

That's what it should be called.

You all summed it up nicely. I have regrets as my mother did not attend because she had left the church. I now regret it everyday. Temple wedding was similar to all of you and we now think we may as well eloped. We would have had a better and more memorable time. Oh well.

Just be happy it's so "short" now. Getting one's endowments the first time followed by getting married used to be an 8-hour or so thing. Too tired for sweaty snugglebunnies at night.