So, I being in the service industry, was at a customers house yesterday. These customers are NEVER mo's, but just belong to some basic Christian church...Nice folks. It was a very rainy day and he was playing a CD that his mother in law had given him...MIL also NOT a Mo. Then it happened...One song after another well, I heard those Hymmns before...in a Mormon "church". The songs were piano and some piano with violin. NO singing. ALL instrumental (Piano). Then I felt like I was gonna start crying, then I felt a need to go back to TSCC. WHY is this. I don't understand. What is wrong with me? Been out for 4 years. Any ideas. BTW, my friend in the state where I now reside said IF I ever tried to go back to the Mo's OR UT, she would break my legs. Any ideas what is going on with my mind? I thought I was over this.

Maybe you just want to go back to church? & not necessarily back to TSCC? :shrugs:

And lots of churches and denominations have used them with different lyrics. I have been spiritually refreshed to learn new (to me) authentically Christian lyrics to melodies I had long associated with Christian Science. (Mary Baker Eddy was a piss-poor poet.) You would have been a bit startled by the words if you asked your customer to sing a stanza or two.

Music works powerfully on/in our memory banks. This is emotional, spiritual, and physiological (involving our synaptic circuits). That is why the music of our youth (especially if young love is involved) has such intense nostalgic power. In your case, this involved tscc and strong emotionally bonding associations. There is nothing wrong with you! But you may be more comfortable avoiding that stuff. I myself got albums of worship music, choral arrangements mostly, and re-learned them with lyrics I am religiously comfortable with.

If you have any tscc stuff, Tabernacle Choir especially, destroy it..

A few scattered ideas on what's happening with your mind: you want to be part of a group where you matter- you are more alone after you leave the church if you dont find a social group to replace it. When you walk away from the church you walk away from the hoax, but you also leave relationships behind. Its not too different from longing for your childhood and having a song or scent take you back. I get misty eyed thinking about growing up, when all my siblings were little and we played until the sun went down- church was a huge part of our lives...hard to carve it out from my childhood. Everything my parents did was TSCC related, especially the good times.

In the end, it's nostalgia...you want to remember the good old days, when things were comfortable and simple...

Piano and violin music are nice no matter who you are. in this case you triggered back to hearth and home and thoughts of relaxing alone on a Sunday after church, reminded you of a Sunday dinner, the smell of rolls, the thought of visiting long since dead grandma. You'd identify with that music if you were raised in any faith. Here's some therapy...go buy some piano and violin music and play it on Sunday morning. You'll probably feel good.

The church is still a hoax though.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/14/2013 02:52AM by Yaqoob.

Or it could be like when you hear an old song that meant something special to you and your old boyfriend (the one that you had broken up with because he was such a jerk).

For a little while, hearing the music, you get taken back to the time before you found out he was a scumbag, and you feel sad and nostalgic and wish you were still together.

Such is the power of music!

But then sanity returns, and you thank your lucky stars that time in your life is gone!

+1

Music has the power to stir the emotions, and Mormonism (at one time) had a strong emotional pull for you.

The melodies that you were hearing (and associated with Mormonism) were initially Christian hymns or other types of songs, often with very different lyrics. For instance, the music for the Mormon hymn, "Praise to the Man" comes from the Scottish patriotic anthem, "Scotland the Brave."

You can see some bagpipers performing it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fxMFQL5ZOM

Lyrics:

http://www.songandpraise.org/scotland-the-brave-lyrics.htm

As Caffiend suggested, listing to the hymns with their original lyrics might be quite the eye opener!

I miss the hymns too, and no matter where I end up in this quest to find what I do believe, now that I know what I don't believe, I'm keeping Christmas. Some churches still have traditional hymns at one of their services. Unfortunately for me the nearest church that does that has the traditional music for the 8:00 A.M. service. I haven't missed the hymns quite that badly yet.

Just remember you paid dearly for the three hymns they gave you every Sunday.

If you feel like going back, then go back. You will be returning with an awareness of The Truth, and some people never can "un-ring that bell" and ignore the truth. But maybe you can. As for me, the Mormon meetings I have been to since leaving, have convinced me even more how sick and wrong Mormonism is for me.

Once in a while, a relative goes to or returns from a mission, or a relative's child gets blessed or baptized, or there is a Mormon funeral. Every time I go, it takes a while to recover from the new snubbing, the judging, the rudeness, the arrogant bragging, the flat-out lying. That, plus the Mormons' negative view of life, is very depressing to me.

Vacillate back and forth, if you choose to--but do not force your children to attend a cult. Your children have a better chance to break free happily, and make a life for themselves in the huge world full of choices. You are stuck in a rut. Try having more fun, if nothing else!

The emotions you feel are real and hearing the songs again stir emotions like before.
There are things I learned as a TBM that are uplifting and have shaped my life for the better.
There are other things I got from the church that were perplexing and unanswered.
One of the reasons I got out was the double standard of the church...if a GA lies to make the church look good it is still a sin by their standards and they are not accountable for lies.
If I lie to make my self look better then I am a sinner and need to repent. I am not going to live under that umbrella. The church as and organization lies...I guess my standards are higher than TSCC...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/14/2013 10:00AM by oldklunker.

I've been in other Christian churches where the tune is the same, but their words are completely different. That feels weird, singing the wrong words. I guess it's the Mormons who've changed the words.

Nostalgia is perfectly normal. It's just remembering when times were simpler and sometimes even happy.

But one thing is certain. We cannot unlearn the truth. I went back for a friend's Mom's funeral. It was wonderful to see my old friends again, who gathered me in for big hugs.

But sitting listening to them talk, I sadly realized that I did not fit in with these people anymore. That's when I realized that even when I'm feeling that nostalgia, it doesn't mean that I could go back.

It's never the Church that I miss. It's my friends. I was in the same ward for 30 years, with a few quick detours to other wards. But for the most part, it was the same ward. Those people watched me grow from a teenager into a middle-aged woman.

But if I ever tried to go back, sitting there listening to them bear their testimonies, I'd be sitting there shaking my head thinking, "Are these people crazy? How can they think like that? How sad."

Nope, in reality, it couldn't be done.

Edit: I love what summer said, "Music has the power to stir the emotions." That's so true.

Yesterday, a particular hymn was playing in my head all day long. They're still there, those hymns, in my mind. At first that upset me. Now, even though they hold no meaning for me anymore, I just let them play. That's fine. I guess they're a part of my repertoire and there's nothing I can do about that.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/14/2013 09:02AM by Greyfort.

+1

There's a lot about church I miss, and have considered returning. But then I realize I would immediately be given a calling not of my choosing, and I would be pressured to waste time home teaching, etc, etc.

So, yep, if they could take out the religion, and assigning callings and pressure, it would be great.

Ain't gonna happen.

No matter the logical path your mind has taken regarding mormonism, music is powerful. It keeps its pathways in our brains. Especially the songs that came to us during times of intensity, or AGES of intensity.

I'm a complete atheist, yet I have never let go of christmas songs. Give me a good silent night anytime anywhere and I'm tearing up. It goes back to when my mom had almost died and had gotten out of the hospistal in time to come back and sing in the christmas cantata at our (Methodist) church. She had the Silent Night solo because she had one of the world's more beautiful voices. So I cry when I hear a good silent night. I've got a little tear coming now.

It's okay. It's music. The mormons didn't completely suck at music. Not at all. It was a part of our time there and music doesn't deserve our scorn. The practices do. Some of the people do. But music just IS. Let it be. (Dang! Another good one!)

Sometimes when I hear familiar LDS music, I imagine myself on my mother's lap in the old ward house that was torn down years ago. How many times did I hear those songs while so lovingly protected, and how could I expect that the feelings would ever go away?

Something that is indelibly imprinted on our minds is sometimes referred to as “deep culture.” In addition to religious experiences that go way back, love of country falls into this category. Why do people so often say, “I love my country” or “My coutry is the best in the world”? Typically, it’s because they have heard these messages over and over since childhood, and eventually the messages become totally ingrained. If you ask these people why they believe as they do, the answer you often get is “because it feels right.”
And if this sounds like a Mormon describing his/her testimony, it’s also because deep culture is at play.

Mormonism left me with a lot of “bad” feelings, but also with a few “good” feelings. One of the latter is the music. So when I hear the old tunes, I just allow the experience to happen. And, as I say, I spend a few lovely moments back there in my mother’s lap.

We all have triggers implanted from past experiences. Music is a common trigger that reminds us of how we felt and where we were when we learned the words and melody and brings back the feelings we experienced at that time.

The same thing can happen when we taste or smell something that was once very meaningful to us.

Hymns do it to me too.

When I was making the break, the thing I missed the most was the hymns. So I tried going back to SM just to sing. (BTW I can't carry a tune in a bucket - so being able to sing in a large group is a good thing for me, not necessarily my neighbor). I couldn't do it, because the words bothered me. I wasn't willing to recite to music things I know to be wrong.

My assessment is that the hymns gave me a longing for peace and security but that I no longer find those attributes in that place anymore. Now I sing hymns at home when I feel like it.

I hope you find your peace.

Go to another church with good music and choir. Many of the hymns will have the same tunes but different words, and will not have all the Morg pressure attached. Most churches you can attend all you want and never formally join and nobody pursues you if you leave. Also donations are voluntary. No need to go back to the Morg to connect with some beautiful church music.