I was raised a Mormon and within the last few years have left. I want to say thank you to the hundreds of posts I have related to tonight. I am currently 1 or 2 out of about 100 people in my family to leave the religion and cannot understand how my family can believe all of this. I tried for many years to believe, and just couldn't make it happen; the only reason I never left sooner is fear out of what would happen.
My question is this, how can I, for lack of a better word, argue with what my family has to say. I know for me it is wrong, but any proof I try to bring up, it is discredited. I am so happy ow being fee and I want my family to experience the same joy I feel, free from the chains. Is their any hope in them opening their eyes to the truth? Or will I always be looked down upon as a sinner for leaving?

We are in the same boat. TBM's will refute your logic and facts with "I know" and "I believe" statements. Their faith trumps your knowledge. You can't win an argument, because there is only rational thought on one side.

I struggled with wanting to make loved ones' lives better, as well. When I realized I couldn't get through, I threw up my hands and walked away from the discussion. I figure, if someone refuses to listen to rationality and common sense, they deserve the lives they have.

"Their faith trumps your knowledge."



There's your answer.....

When someone says; "I know..." and "I believe...", you can answer with: "Your faith doesn't trump my knowledge".

My husband and I went out last night for dinner with his bishop and wife, and we had a great time. They both seem like very happy people and are both highly educated, she with a masters in psychology, and he with a masters in some other field having to do with marketing, anyway a lovely couple.

I noticed they seem down to earth, and I also wondered how could this couple, smarter than I, more successful than I, believe in this crazy stuff? But they do. They are all in. They appear to accept my exmormon status though I know they would love nothing more than to try and carry me back in to the fold.

I realized I can't change their desire to believe and I can't change that my husband nor his tribe, think I'm okay just the way I am. While disheartening, what can I do? If they don't listen then the best way to communicate is through my actions. I demonstrate peace in chaos, joy in sadness and try to be the sparkle in the dimly lit room. Though some appear happy and well may be, their lives seem a bit washed over in gray. They have separated themselves out from the rest of us and designated themselves more special. And they believe some pretty horrible, unkind and unloving things. I just try and be myself and show a better way. People will only see what they allow themselves to see. If they aren't receptive it isn't a burden we should have to continue to carry. By choice I try and lay the burden down.

At times it can be hard to let my husband talk about things like how in Sunday School they learned about the "assassination" of Joseph Smith. I just bite my tongue. I already know he won't be receptive to how it really went down in Carthage. So I let him believe the fairy tale of it and keep quiet knowing he will say I'm believing anti Mormon lies. Not worth it. I'm just glad I saw through it and am grateful every day that I am out of that restrictive life. I love being just another regular human, not special and separate from everyone else. I am a part of things, connected to others and to the world I live in.

One more thing I have been doing lately is trying to view Mormons as just people who have given themselves a title. Really they are just people who say "I'm Mormon". Who cares? They are humans trying to live as best they can with shackles on. Invisible shackles that imprison their minds due to fear of many things. And dependence on the drug that feeds what they think is all there is to life itself. And they can't and won't let go. Their religion requires us, their unbelieving family, to change our ways and believe like they do. They will try and manipulate us because their world is not okay if we don't believe too. Their religion does it to them. They think we won't be with them in the next life. They will try and shame us and do anything they have to to try and make it happen.



Edited 14 time(s). Last edit at 09/14/2013 09:35AM by snuckafoodberry.

"If they don't listen then the best way to communicate is through my actions. I demonstrate peace in chaos, joy in sadness and try to be the sparkle in the dimly lit room."

Yep. Something I'm trying to learn myself.

it's pointless to argue with them. I just do my best to never bring it up around my TBM family anymore. They are convinced that they're right and I'm wrong.

I would stop arguing with your family. It's not helping. They are not ready to look at the facts, and they may never be ready.

Instead, keep your reason for leaving simple, i.e. "It's not for me." If someone asks, reply, "I'm glad that Mormonism works for you, but it doesn't work for me."

Arguing history will get you nowhere, because there will always be an excuse or a justification for those who want to justify Mormonism.

Strive for a "live and let live" attitude on your end. As for them, yes, they may always regard you as a sinner, because that's what they've been enculturated to believe. Their beliefs in no way reflect on your character. It is simply what they believe, and you have little to no control over that. One of the paths to inner peace is knowing what you can and can't change.

Simply live your life, and after a while it may boggle their minds that you are happy, successful, safe, and NOT Mo.

When I found the light and was loving the pure joy of being free from MormonInc., I tried desperately to share my new knowledge and frame of mind with friends and family that were still TBM. Well, needless to say, it did not go over at all like I pictured in my mind----I thought they would see the light sooner than later. Definitely not how it happened. I think those of us who have been down this road do it because we genuinely want to share and have those we love find the truth, plus, as MORmONS we have been programmed to be missionaries who look for people to help and save.

So don't be hard on yourself that this is the road you also want to take. But, as others have shared so well, the way it turns out you can best share is being an example of a happy, caring, thinking NoMo who loves life without having to live in the confines of MormonInc. prison. I believe that eventually some will leave MormonInc. and I want to believe that I might play a part in their choosing to walk this walk. At least, I sure hope this is the case.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/14/2013 12:08PM by presleynfactsrock.