After a rain storm our yard flooded due to the fact that the people above us refuse to do anything with their yard, except dump rocks down the slope. We have offered to help them any way they need to put their yard in(its a city code) To make a long story short I was super ticked that our yard flooded, and confronted the wife, I was not very nice about the whole thing a few years of having rocks thrown into our yard, having air pellets appear on our porch and the flooding got to me. Now I just feel rotten I bullied her about her yard (according to her) Part of me wants to apologize the other part want to say nothing. Would just like some imput.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/19/2013 11:12PM by eldorado.

It costs nothing to apologize.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/19/2013 11:11PM by wine country girl.

And it costs nothing to call the city's code enforcement office and ask they be sited.

If I'm reading you correctly, their failure to maintain their property up to code is causing damage to your property, and they have failed to address this issue despite your notification and offers of help.

I would consult a code inspector at the relevant city agency and perhaps a lawyer.

It appears that your neighbor owes you an apology.

What summer says.

You said your peace. What is wrong with that? You could say to her "Sorry I was a bit agitated over this flooding and probably spoke in ways I could have worded better. I do apologize for the words I used." Then say "Take care of your responsibility!!!

I did tell her I was sorry when she said I bullied her( I felt so bad) I just feel like I should say something more though, I feel like my apology was not genuine if that makes sense(In my thinking that is like not saying you are sorry). DH thinks I should say nothing more, and that she is being manipulative( he also reminded me that my idea of mean is someones normal) I just feel rotten I hate making people feel bad. I am just tried of the whole stupid situation the flooding was so bad that it washed the dirt away in our raised garden bed, hopefully it did not damage our retaining wall. We are also trying not to go to the city since it is an ordinance because they have a huge family and I think the fines are pretty steep.

I like what you said honestone, maybe I will tell her that in a few days (when I can speak with out crying)

I told her I was not mad at her but more upset with her husband, because he refuses to work with anybody at all. I was really upset that she was trying to shovel and went up to help her( she just had a baby 2 days prior) I was worried that she would hurt herself. I will say sorry for saying that her husband should be home helping her instead of doing whatever that was way out of line. I only got upset after her neighbor and her kept telling me you do not understand, I felt like I was being ganged up on I had not said anything at all at that point.

We have they have to keep it from coming onto our property this is why they have to put a lawn in and something to divert the water.We had no problems until they started to change the grade of
their property ( this is against the city code).

They have to keep the water from coming into our yard, this is one of the reasons the city requires back lawns(it helps keep in soil and some water) We had no problem until they changed the grade of their property by dumping rocks down the hill and dirt, its almost like he is trying to extend the area of his yard from the slope to the yard that is already there.

Sorry about the double posts, we are looking into getting a lawyer
because the whole thing getting weirder and weirder. We have pictures also. I think DH is putting cameras in the back yard this week (he is worried about retaliation)

Summer that is already happening to some extent. we were lucky this year that rain was pretty much nil.

What you need to consider is that the next time it might be more than flooding. The water could cause the soil on the slope to weaken and fail. I would want someone knowledgeable to inspect it. That would be a code inspector or engineer with the city.

There is nothing wrong with being properly assertive. I am with your husband on that.

Check with a lawyer too. A realtor can recommend one who is familiar with building codes. Meanwhile apologize for losing your temper and son't give them any grounds for retaliation or noncooperation. Also, write out a time line of problems as accurately as you can reconstruct your memory, and keep it current. Take photos of everything. Keep records of conversations and damage estimates. Good record keeping (I doubt they do that) is a major advantage.

In some states the law is that water diversion is the land owners responsibility rather than the neighbor sending the water downhill.

Might want to research your local rules.

Summer, that is, whats going on we even offered to pay half the cost of a wall to help retain things for them and has offered to work in the guys back yard to help him out.We now think part of the reason he won't take help, is that we are not LDS and he has 3 foot wide hole that is pretty deep that fills with water on his property we think he does not want people to know about it. Like I said we have put off calling the city because they have a big family and do not want to burden them with any fines they might get.

If the ward has a responsible bishop, perhaps he can be enlisted to encourage his congregant to be responsible and obey the city codes. But make sure he's not a flake.

Thanks everyone, I am still feeling pretty bad about how I handled it and wish I had done better, all I can do know is be better and not even talk to them about the whole thing, so it looks like taking it up with the city is going to be the best route. Even if it is to have someone come out and tell us what more we can do to help our property without having to put another rock wall up above our existing one (DH said the rock wall is out of the question now)

And that is precisely why I would never buy property at the bottom of a grade.

Water runs downhill.

Caffiened as a guest, that is what DH wanted to do, however for me it just did not seem right to involve the person they go to for personal issues or spiritual needs.

Leah, seriously though until he changed the grade it was not a problem. But yeah, doubt we will do that again.

I would quit making offers to help them with labor or money. If a lawsuit develops, that could come back to bite you.

Start looking out for your own best interests as property owners. You have enough on your plate in that regard. Let your neighbors look out for their own concerns.

They've made changes to their property without getting the necessary permits from the city (correct me if I'm wrong). These changes have cause your property to flood. You've spoken to the homeowners to no avail.

File a complaint with your city hall. Summer's right, it's not your responsibility to help them correct their mistake. It's your town's responsibility to make them fix the problem.

Also, contact your homeowner's insurance company and find out if and how much damage they will cover. Sometimes insurance companies can put pressure on neighbors if something they are neglecting can cost the insurance company a bunch of money. I'm thinking of people who have trees on their property that hang over the neighbor's house.

keep you from code enforcement.

It sounds to me like they simply aren't following code, and it's causing you problems. You wouldn't GET emotional if they did what they are supposed to be doing.

Normal people GET upset when other people cause damage to their property. But some people (maybe even you) would use the fact that you got upset to excuse further inaction. It's STILL their responsibility to fix it.

My thought is that because of the help you have offered, they think you are soft on enforcement and will allow them to choose when or whether or not to take action. My thought would be to handle this professionally now. Just report it to the city.