I have been in California for a week. I was visiting my daughter, son in law, and three lively grandsons. My daughter has an in home pre school five days of the week. The boys have homework, the boys have basketball, the boys fight with each other and make messes. You get the picture. I wasn't laying on the beach drinking fruity drinks with umbrellas, but in spite of the occasional chaos, I was chill.

Today my daughter took me to the Oakland Airport. I got the full body scan and a pat down. It turns out that the scan machine picks up anything that sparkles. About twenty pin head sized rivets set it off. I was slightly annoyed, but still chill.

The first leg of my journey home went from Oakland to Long Beach. Nice flight. The first hour of my two hour layover was great. I finished my first book, had a great burger, watched a plane leave and another arrive. Still chill.

Then I went to the assigned gate to finish waiting for my flight to SLC. That's when I realized I was on my way back to the hell that is living in the land of Zion.

Mormons don't know airport/airplane code. If you approach a group of people who are reading, are wearing earbuds or have their laptops open, you should behave in a similar manner ie. don't talk. Don't ask people increasingly personal questions, and for pity sake don't ask them what religion they are.

A flight going to SLC has more children, that is just a fact and I can cope with kids crying on an airplane. I even pity their poor parents. If I'm seated by a two year old, I'll even help entertain him and I will be chill.

But, if you are an adult and you ask a total stranger what religion they are, even if I'm not the adult being interrogated, I'm going to conclude that you are an idiot and I'm going to lose my chill. I hated that question when I was TBM and now it is like chalk on chalkboard to me. I have decent manners, so no one will know I've lost my chill, unless of course, my blood pressure raises, I have a stroke and the flight gets rerouted to the nearest city with a hospital.

So, I'm home now and I know that every time I find myself standing in a long line, or waiting in a waiting room, or sitting by a stranger in a theater, I have at least a 50/50 chance of hearing that question. Awe, Utah.

During the approach the stewardess tells you to put your seat in the full uptight position.

Don, you are on a roll lately. Very funny, and true. I fly in and out of Salt Lake every week, pretty much. I love leaving, hate coming back. Someone get me out of here!

hehe

My husband flies into SLC several times a week--he is going to laugh at this post!!

I was on a flight recently to SLC that was totally full. A young mother with two young children had been flying all day and was re-routed and there were only middle seats available. The children were crying. The flight attendant was begging, bargaining, pleading with a lady to give up her seat so that the mother could have her child next to her. Finally, the man next to me traded with the uncooperative lady and in a game of musical chairs things worked out. This bitchy lady who was so unwilling to help out then pulled out her scriptures and gospel doctrine manual to prepare a lesson--I ordered a glass of wine!!

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/02/2013 12:31PM by evergreen.

I have lived in several states after growing up non-Mormon in Utah. Since moving over 20 years ago, I don't recall anyone asking me what religion I am - except my new eye doctor who is a Mormon and is new to town.

On the other hand, it did take me a few years to get used to not asking others the same question. :)

I want to know why I never get these kinds of questions! I fly at least once a month, and no one ever asks me my religion. I have never had a missionary show up either, and I live in Davis county! When I first moved in, I had two men from the local ward show up, but that was it. I got some Christmas presents from the (LDS) neighbors, but I am pretty sure they do that to everyone. Do I look so LDS that they just assume I am not a conversion candidate? I am not demonstrative or flashy dresser, but I don't layer! I must admit that I have been tempted to color my hair fuschia and get a tattoo just to (quietly) scream "I am not LDS!"

The two men who showed up reported back to the ward and you can rest assured that the entire neighborhood knows that you are not LDS. You haven't been love bombed yet, because you have been assigned to a slacker, or your name hasn't made it to the top of the list.

I have no idea how you have avoided the question on a flight to or from SLC. Maybe you're travelling with mostly business travelers, or you are just lucky.

You don't need to color your hair or get a tattoo, just wear a cross.

An upside-down cross or a pentagram may be an even more effective repellent...

Wearing a cross is Mormon repellant.

Vampires and Mormons have something in common.

Whenever I mention that I went on a mission, Utahns look at me in disbelief and say "YOU went on a mission?" but they never explain themselves. Maybe I don't act or look stupid enough.

...When you fly through a brownish-grey inversion layer so thick you can't see anything out the windows.

Releve, I like the way you formatted your post--nice paragraphs containing complete thoughts and no extraneous words. I like not getting lost in minutia when I'm trying to understand the point of what someone is trying to say.

I've lived in Utah off and on for 30 years (since I was 17). Whenever my friends or family visit from Florida and we are pit om public some time during the visit someone will inevitably approach them. It usually starts with "Where are you from?" to show interest in the person. Then inconsequential chatter followed eventually by the religion question. It's so embarrassing to me as my family and friends giggle, and I wonder if they're thinking that I used to be in a cult.

I admit I mostly travel for business, but I can definitely spot LDS candidates: Woman with big hair layered shirts, and mid-calf skirt, man with suit and white shirt. Sometimes they even carry scriptures. Who wears suits on an airplane on Sunday?

As to keeping the missionaries from my door, I told the ward visitors I am very active in my Christian church. I did know what they were there for, so I laid it on pretty thick LOL! My very LDS neighbors must have confirmed it. I do like the idea of a cross necklace. Guess I will have to put that on my birthday list!

I am a Christian and I wore a cross to school every day throughout high school in an attempt to keep the Mormons at bay (SLC back in the 1970s). There were a number of times when I was approached by someone who would say, "Why are you wearing a cross? Good Mormon girls don't wear crosses." I'd flatly reply, "I'm not a good Mormon girl - I'm a Christian." They were always shocked to learn I wasn't a Mormon. The fact that I was a quiet "A" student who didn't drink, smoke or do drugs just didn't compute because many Mormons seem to think all non-Mormons are complete degenerates.

Interestingly, none of these Mormon kids or teachers ever retorted that they were Christians too. Back in those days Mormons did not refer to themselves as Christians because they considered themselves to be better and more enlightened than Christians. I find it so weird how things have morphed over the years and now they are calling themselves Christians.

My daughter has a friend she has known since second grade although we didn't live in the same ward the girls spent a lot of time together. Once she was having dinner with her friends family and the talk turned to girls camp.

The mom asked my daughter when her girls camp was scheduled. She replied that she didn't go to girls camp so she didn't know.

Why doesn't she go to girls camp?

Because I'm not mormon.

Everyone at the table turned and stared at her.

??????

How could it be that this nice, smart girl that they had all known for ten years not be Mormon?

Yes, you can totally tell who is Mormon. They even talk differently. My sister and I used to live in the same city. Whenever we flew to SLC together we used to sit and "pick out the Mormons" when we were bored. Utah Mormons really stick out on the East Coast.

Crosses truly are Mormon repellent. Mormons see the cross, They don't engage. No Asking if you are a Mormon, no small chit chat. If Mormons talk to someone with a cross they may become infected!!!

Aside from feeling like I'm being judged by the people around me, I see the people at the boarding gate trying too hard to look like they fit in to normal society. I can't really put it in to words, but Mormons try too hard to look like civilians. But they just don't.

T-Bone

Them: "What religion are you?"

Baura: "I'm a Crypto-Gasmonian."

THEM: "Er . . . that's nice . . . what do you believe?"

Baura: "Crypto-Gasmonians believe in the ultrafication of unity
and that every individual spirit will be accounted for.

Them: "OK"

silence for the rest of the flight

...you're the only person drinking on the plane?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/02/2013 08:23AM by breedumyung.

Holland and Eyring sitting there with Uchtdorf in the pilot's seat. LOL

I took a flight to Utah after I had very recently left the church. I was wearing a sleeveless shirt for the second time ever and I decided to order my very first coffee drink to enjoy on the plane.

I was seated next to a similarly aged woman that was reading the Ensign. Early into the flight she asked if I knew anything about the Mormons. I nearly spit my mocha frappucino out! I had forgotten how un-Mormon I looked.

I wish I could go back to that moment to have some fun, but being caught of guard, I simply told her that I had just left the church. Needless to say, the rest of the flight was very quiet.

Too bad you didn't insist on explaining why.

When hell freezes over.

Are you told to set your watches back 60 years?

lol

You flew to Long Beach from Oakland to get to SLC? That seems half arse backwards!

Anyway, I flew to Oakland a couple of weeks ago. Were the food service workers still on strike? They were picketing in from of the Southwest terminal when I was there!

On a previous trip, I had a lay over in Phoenix and the SLC bound passengers were next to our gate. What a variety of suits, kids, overweight women, and an occasional "hippie" type.

It was Jet Blue. I usually fly Southwest straight to Oakland, but this ticket was booked late and Jet Blue had the best fare. I loved the Jet Blue terminal in Long Beach. It was a great day until the Mormons arrived for the flight to SLC.

I think part of the problem is the location of Long Beach and the fact that Jet Blue is or was owned by a Mormon.

Mormons go to Disneyland and on cheap Carnival cruises. Jet Blue has low fares and the Mormon connection qualifies as affinity flying.

Thank you for all of the funny comments and the commiseration.

Actually, Neeleman only headed it and got canned a while back. What ownership interest he had was mostly sold by then.

On a September day in the late 1960's I boarded a United Airlines DC10 at Chicago O-Hara airport, headed for Salt Lake City. I was wearing a dark blue suit, white shirt and tie, my standard business attire. I looked young enough to pass for a missionary.

An attractive young woman was seated next to me. I decided to open a casual conversation.

Me: Looks like we will have a smoothe ride to Salt Lake City.

Her: Yes, I hope so. I'm a student at BYU and I'm returning to school in Provo. How about you?

Me: I live in Salt Lake and I'm returning home from a business trip.

Her: Oh, are you a member of The Church?

Me: Well, actuallly no -- I'm a former Mormon and now I'm an atheist.

Her: (frowning big time) That's too bad.

End of conversation.

One more airplane flight story --

I went on a January business trip to Princeton, New Jersey.
I flew from SLC to Chicago O'Hara to the Newark NJ airport. I boarded the return flight in Newark about 3:00 p.m. on Friday. The airplane was 3/4 full.

While the airplane was still at the gate, the Captain spoke over the intercom. "This is your Captain speaking and unfortunately I have some bad news. Due to a snowstorm in Chicago, the O'Hara airport has been reduced to using only one runway. We must wait on the ground here in Newark until O'Hara gives us clearance to take off for Chicago. I will let you know when we get that clearance. Hopefully it won't be too long."

An hour and fifteen minutes passed and we were still on the ground in Newark. The Captain came over the intercom again: "I have been talking to the control tower at O'Hara Airport. The storm is getting worse, and they can't tell us when we can leave for O'Hara. But here's what we will do. We can leave immediately and fly into the Midway Airport in Chicago. All Chicago passengers will de-plane there and United will help you with ground transportation, as required. We will be on the ground for a very short time and then we will continue on to Salt Lake City. So Salt Lake City passengers must stay on board."

So away we went and we landed at Midway Airport with no further delays. After ten minutes on the ground we took off for Salt Lake City. There were only six passengers on board. The Captain again spoke over the intercom: "If we had landed at O'Hara, we would have brought meal service on board, but there was no meal service available at Midway. Any passenger who so desires can move to First Class seating and we will be serving beverages of your choice, including all alcoholic beverages, free of charge. We hope this will help compensate for the inconvience of no meals."

This was back in the days when flight attendants were called stewardesses and they were young and pretty. I sat down in First Class next to a lovely Stewardess and we shared a bottle of wine on the trip to Salt Lake City. That was the best airplane ride I ever had.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/02/2013 09:52AM by saviorself.

Gene R. Crook is sitting to your left and Mick Jagger is sitting to your right. Best middle seat ever.

It's not just Mormons who do this.

Ten years ago my husband and I were house hunting for our first house together. We pulled into the driveway of a house and were waiting for our realtor when the lady next door approached us. We hadn't even got out of the car yet. She wanted to know what church we attended and what Sunday School classes we went to. No hello, I'm so and so first.

We were a little stunned. Then we told her "we're not Christian" and she turned around and left quickly.

We ended up buying that house and have lived here ever since. The neighbor lady eventually sold her house and moved away.

We now have a sign in our front window with a pentacle on it and the sign says "Goddess Bless Our Happy Home". It pretty much keeps the zealots of all religions away. :)

BTW, I live in Houston, not far from the temple.

The best idea is to be pro-active. If asked, tell the person confidentaly that you WERE a Mormon but learned the truth and let them know all of it. Result is that next time they fly they may not ask anyone what religion they are. If enough do this, the habit will be broken.

Not a bad idea. My son in law has 27 pages of reasons why he left TSCC, maybe I could start carrying a copy of that when I fly and just answer the question the way you suggested, hand off my reasons, put in my earbuds and read my book.

I think you might be a little optimistic about breaking a Mormon's bad habit, but it never hurts to try.

I don't drink much but I usually order wine on my SLC flights just as a sign to the nosey seat mates.