I tuned into conference while driving around and shopping today. I'm not sure who the speaker was, but he was (predictably) giving a talk about rescuing those lost sheep.

He told a story (made-up, I'm sure) about inactive "Martha" and her family. When the VTs showed up to visit inactive Martha, "her heart was softened" and she gratefully returned to church. After she and her daughters had been attending for a while, the reluctant husband/dad eventually followed them, and everybody WENT TO CHURCH! Whoopee! They were all so happy.

The speaker then went on to reassure listeners that if they, too, persisted in pestering the inactives, said inactives "WILL come back!" According to this speaker, they are just waiting for their "more valiant brothers and sisters to show them the way" and will surely rush back to church with grateful hearts once they are pestered...um, visited.

This speaker made it sound like not showing up to church meetings was a horrible thing. He repeated the phrase about people's "hearts" being "softened" until I wanted to break something.

It's their heads that have softened, not their hearts.

Of course the sheeple are going to believe this drivel right down to their toes. They will now really think that bugging us, stalking us, and violating our boundaries by repeatedly shoving their religion in our faces will really make us go back -- because their leaders are assuring them that it will happen if they just do their part.

Brace yourselves for more doorstep cookie-dough, intrusive phone calls, unannounced late-night visits, and stalking of your children.

Of course, when lawsuits materialize instead of reactivations, leaders will blame it on the members (who I think are being set up for disappointment, garden-hosings, and maybe worse).

Only a Mormon would equate a sensitive person of soft heart with an attendance monkey.

Their services are so painfully boring, spiritually deflating, and a bit angering with the lies. There are so many more fun things to do on my weekends. There is no way that they can reactivate me....I'll still take the cookie dough, however.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/05/2013 07:07PM by homoerectus.

This is the ONE conference talk I was accidentally subjected to. You forgot that those VTs that visited Martha were moved on by "the spirit" to ask her if she would sing a hymn with them. Singing helped her feel the spirit and softened her heart.

I swear, if anyone sings at me I will consider the gloves off and all's fair in love and war. (That's a nice way to put go ballistic, right?)

I too was struck by how he kept belittling inactives as lost, needing to have their hearts softened, needing to be saved by the more valiant members etc. It was so arrogant and unkind I couldn't stop thinking one of my favorite mantras I find myself saying around TBMs: "I don't want to be like you." If one of us gave this talk and made them the victims of the story, they'd be horrified. We have every right to be too.

P.S. Anyone know who the speaker was?

Lol! Love it, Cheryl!

TG

Aw, hell no! I am not coming back- ever. And if anyone darkens my doorstep with an impromptu chirping of "There is Sunshine in my Soul Today", they will end up being very unhappy that they have come.

The rudest thing of all is the omnipresent 'We know better than you do what you need' mentality.

Based on the summary, I'm guessing it was Arnulio Valenzuela.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1042886

That sounds like the guy - he had an obvious accent, which was the only likeable thing about his talk. Anyone who believes that someone would come back to church after someone sings at them is almost painfully stupid.

+1

When I was a TBM there were many members in my ward who did go inactive then return to church. Obviously I'm never going to go back to church, but there are some inactives that do. I've seen it happen multiple times with my own eyes. I can't deny it. However, that speaker is wrong to say it as if it's a certainty. There are many that will never return (such as myself).

Everyone please keep a look out for TBM Trolls. Most of them are easy to spot, LDSRules/I want to share my testaphony type things. There have been a few more subtle ones, I am a cafeteria/activist mormon and I just LOVE the gospel, oh and btw if you just keep going to the temple you will just LOVE IT!!!!

In either case, REPORT THEM AND DO NOT PLAY WITH THEM. We will continue to keep this our little TINY corner of cyberspace.

+1

And I always wash my hands immediately afterwards, just to be safe.

And Cheryl - The very first thing I thought of was you and your hose! GO, GIRL!!! Go get 'em!!!!!

Pisses me off when they do this. They know damn well that people are leaving and NOT coming back. Oh, there will always be a few, but most of them did not leave because they found out the truth and accept the facts.

People, we are NOT doubters. I have absolutely zero doubt in my mind about the mormon church. Nothing is going to make us come back. If gawdalmighty appeared to me in all his godly glory and told me the mor(m)on church was true and I needed to go back, I'd tell him he's a dick for making all the facts point to it being one of the world's biggest frauds and making it so you have to go by your emotions to believe it, when those are the same emotions everyone else has about the things they believe in.

They're truly running scared. "Don't look at the man behind the curtain!" They can't shout it loud enough.

Going back would mean:

1)Mind numbing meetings and lessons
2)Constant feelings of guilt for not being enough or doing enough
3)Being treated like a child and a second class citizen by arrogant "priesthood" holders
4)Not being able to act like an adult or socialize like an adult over a glass of wine or cup of coffee
5)Constant mental gymnastics as I try to rationalize what has just been taught in a lesson
6) Being asked to read the Book of Mormon again and again
7) Being asked to give my time, talents and means to a greedy, unethical corporation
8)Serving in positions I have neither the time, talent or interest in and burying any real talents that I do have.
9) Leaving all integrity at the door and losing my authentic self to once again become a robot who can do nothing more than bow my head and say "yes"

After considering my options, I am going to have to decline this invite!

Mmm cookie dough

So glad I've moved far away where no one knows I used to be mormon and no church members will ever think to look for me here.

Not only are we not doubters but we do not miss them. We don't miss the lifestyle they lead nor do we miss most of the members we were forced to associate with. They act like they are so wonderful and loveable that, given the right encouragement, we would be blessed and thrilled to be allowed in their gang on the playground again. It never occurs to them that we dumped them the way you'd end a relationship with a really bad boyfriend. He can stalk you all he wants, bring you gifts, turn on the charm but it will NOT make you want to return. If anything, it will make you want to get out a restraining order. For them to really understand why we don't return, they need to accept that people have made an intellectual decision about the church, that that decision is NONE of their business and that they aren't the coolest kids in the school cafeteria.

+ 1000!

<It never occurs to them that we dumped them the way you'd end a relationship with a really bad boyfriend. He can stalk you all he wants, bring you gifts, turn on the charm but it will NOT make you want to return. If anything, it will make you want to get out a restraining order.>

Oh, hells yes! This!

And, like the psycho boyfriend, they remain convinced that you really DO want them, you just aren't smart enough to realize it.

Great analogy!

To singing VT:
You know, i've been so concerned about you. I've prayed and prayed about you. I've even read some self help books that I've decided fit your circumstances. I feel so moved and so inspired to tell you that you're pursuing a spiritual path that's not only deceptive, but they're using you both physically and spiritually.

I know that you'll eventually see the light if you'll but take some time to really look into what and who you're dealing with. The evil influence that this church has built its foundation on isn't going to work out for you in this life or the next. In fact, it will destroy your family.

If you ever need any help with finding the truth, i'd be more than happy to introduce you to my hundreds of friends who have seen the light and found their way out of this life numbing spirit suffocating corporation that bills themselves as a religion. I'll keep meditating for you. Here's my phone # if you ever decide you've had enough.

Ha! I'm going to have to save this, I think it will come in handy.

I went inactive and went back to church several times. But when I resigned, it was because I'd finally figured out that it was all a fraud. If I wasn't leaving permanently this time, I wouldn't have resigned.

There's no possibility whatsoever that I'll be going back again. I'm done.

Ummm sorry, cookie dough? You mean they bring the uncooked dough and leave it on your doorstep? Or have I got it all wrong??

Yes, they leave uncooked cookie dough -- "so you can have the fun of baking it together as a family."

They also once left me a 50 lb. bag of pancake mix.

It didn't work either.

Bishop Buttercream (the bishop after Jackwagon) brought a package of cookie mix over after my husband had a minor surgery and we had to make it ourselves. Probably more sanitary that way - you never know about some of these Mormon homes. But I'm not inclined to hold it against him because he's virtually ignored us other than that this last year he's been in office. Or prison, depending on how you view callings.

I have just received the inspiration to douse members who encourage me to to come back with "You too WILL leave the Mormoney Church. I have been given the inspiration to tell you this."

Shucks. Guess I'll have to tell them the truth: I still have a TON of sinning left to do. So that's a problem right there.

Plus, until they can raise Joe Jr. and Briggy from the dead in order to fall on their faces at my feet, groveling in shame, and sincerely apologizing to me and all my ex-mo friends and furthermore confess just what the HELL they thought gave them the right to create and sustain such a monstrously deceptive, exploitative, destructive and greedy scam, I think I am going to remain perpetually offended for the rest of my life.

So sorry brethren & sistren! Just ask your bishop: as long as I persist with my interesting and fun sinning and the very existence of your first two profits offends me so much, it seems pretty durn likely I won't be coming back. There's no hope for me, don't worry I'll be fine, solonghaveanicedaynowbuhbye!

Hahahahahahaaa what a load of crap!!!! They could not pay me to go back. Who in their right mind wants to go back and mingle with Zombies that will not think for themselves, zombies that aspire to callings, zombies that are judgmental, Man fuck that!!!! I aint going back no way!

I'll come back when this happens. When hell freezes over or when pigs start to fly!!! Both of which seems unlikely to happen anytime soon!

Sorry you had such a bad drive. Next time, put on the Beatles, the Supremes, Elton John, Roy Orbison. . . etc.

I will not be going back, in spite of their prediction.

If they will come back, why are less than 40% of Mormons church goers?

It seems not going to church is more normal Mormon behavior than going.

I will tell anyone that tries to HT or invite me back that: I know the church is false and I can give them the evidence. Then I will say: Now YOU are responsible for this truth and I will be a witness before God that You were told the truth and not interested but continued to follow false prophets and false doctrine. Has worked for me 3 for 3 times. The only problem 2 of the 3 just about had a heart attack ----- truth can be a tough thing for an older person who banked on the church being true!

I'm not going back. Not ever.

My sister-in-law sent out a note to her inactive friends and family to ask why they left the church. There were actually a couple that had been through majorly horrible stuff with members but they said they still believed.

The golden rule is enough for me. No thanks to meetings, made-up "callings" and assigned "friends".

Glad some of you had a chance to listen so I didn't have to! I appreciate the highlight and all the great, funny comments!


(poster formally know as l.u.v.c.a.k.e.)