I am a bit on the sad side lately and I have to confess the LDS lifestyle does seem to be appealing. Not that I am going to call missionaries etc. I don't know... just how I feel today

What part of the lifestyle? I'm sure that you don't want it all.

If it fulfills you, what is stopping you from embracing it?

I believe that everyone has their own path in life.. just because it's not our journey doesn't mean it's not yours.

Um m m... May I suggest a good book? Or a drive to view the beautiful colors of fall? Or writing a letter to a friend whom you have meant to contact forever?

Mormonism is not easy to get over for most people. We were brainwashed for a very long time, so it makes sense that there will be times that we want to go back for the "decent" parts of the church.

After all, IMHO we were in a cult! It might be of benefit for you to google cult on the Internet. It will help you feel proud of the courage that you have shown so far to leave this all behind you. Remember, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!

Sending you warm wishes.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/08/2013 11:11AM by presleynfactsrock.

It reminds me of the saying I heard recently -

"I don't miss you - I miss who I thought you were."

That's what you are feeling. You don't miss the reality of Mormonism - you miss who you thought they were, what you thought they stood for, who they aspire to be rather than who they really are. What the lifestyle promises you rather than what it delivers. And that's OK, as long as you know the difference between what they say they are and what they are.

I hope that your sadness won't last long and that you feel better soon.

What I loved about mormonism I can never get back. Just like Dorothy could never un-see the old white guy behind the curtain...

The mormon lifestyle? What's that? Whatever the mormon lifestyle is, you certainly can live it without mormonism.

Except, if you're a man, you can't get away with sitting fat and smug in a chair believing that just showing up and acting pompous and self-satisfied fulfills your social responsibilities; nor does acting sulky and silent, as though your social responsibilities put you out, but you get credit for showing up; and you can't fall asleep in your chair or play on a device when you're supposed to be paying attention. In other words, without mormonism, a man's not a priesthood holder, endowed with special powers or knowledge, or God's favored child (what kind of father plays favorites with his kids anyway?).

If you're a woman you can't gossip about everyone, indulge your petty jealousies and insecurities, break the bank on clothes, gee gaws for the house or hobby supplies, humble-brag, boss everyone around passive-aggressively, or positively refuse to make a decision except on the most trivial matters (but then pretend that because you hung a silk flower arrangement on the wheel, you're steering the ship).

However, if by lifestyle you mean doing yard work, inviting your family over for dinner, wearing a particular style of clothing, not swearing, not drinking coffee, tea, or alcohol, dropping in on the neighbors to listen to their problems, offer advice if they ask for it, help them with things, or bring them food if they're in need, you can certainly do all of those things without being told to do so by your self-appointed leader, enforced by the judgments of busy-bodies in your neighborhood.

Do not underestimate the shock of having what you knew, what you were comfortable with ripped from you. You are right to feel a little sad. You lost more than a doctrine. You lost a life style. It is scary starting over.


If you live in an all mormon community it has to be even harder to find your feet again. I hope you find your new life quickly, because there is a lot of good stuff out there. All the best.

The idea of family. The image of all the happy people on the booklets, posters and books. I know they are fake...

I am not happy in my job and I think that has a lot to do with it. I miss my family and friends (I had to move due to a job 3 years ago)

I feel like a failure. Work never was my thing. I work in a Catholic Church and just feel like my heart isn't in it, but I don't feel like I have transferable stills. Honestly... it's a mess

The answer is that you've got to start paying attention to what you're doing, right now. Don't try to escape into a fantasy world. You've got to put your full effort into being sincere to everyone you meet right now, every interaction. Be a friend, you'll have friends. Start writing to your family, or call. Get in touch. If they won't contact you, write, tell them you love them--don't complain to them. If they throw the cards and letters away because you left the church, let them. Don't let it change you, though. You can break through. You can't rely on Mormonism to create the life you crave, you do it with your own hands.

What's the appealing part, exactly? Because if it's the part where they guilt and shame you into believing that God will withhold is love for you (ex., if you do not pay a lot of money or if you like coffee or if you have strong feelings for the same sex), then you may have other issues for which you may want to see a professional.

If the appealing part is the part where you watch people play Angry Birds and drool on themselves when people are speaking at the pulpit, there may be an app for that.

cludgie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If the appealing part is the part where you watch
> people play Angry Birds and drool on themselves
> when people are speaking at the pulpit, there may
> be an app for that.


omg.. lmao

truth in all humor

I have to tell you all I am a nevermo and my family is also, so really the appeal of the church is not based on my past

Sorry for the confusion

Don't let it be a part of your future. There are many decent churches out there that do good works and say comforting things. Don't confuse any of that with Mormonism. In fact, it is helpful, when thinking of Mormonism, to think "Scientology."