I was talking with one of my SIL's and she told me that she believes polygamy was necessary in the 1800's because Utah had more women than men. She believes a single woman back then could not own property or land and had to be married to own anything. Therefor many of the polygamy marriages were sexless and in name only. Women getting married at 14 & 16 years of age was a common practice.

My SIL is not stupid, she has a Phd. She learned all this valuable information not at university but at TSCC were only truth is taught.

How many of you were taught and believed these false teachings at TSCC?

I remember being taught this history while growing up in the church and I hate to admit it but I bought into it too. I used those excuses to defend the polygomous past of the church (and my ancestors) in debates with friends and colleagues. Though they never argued against what I had to say, I'm sure more than one of the people I talked to walked away from the conversation thinking how ridiculous I sounded.

I've posted this list before, and it applies to the claim of young marriages being common.

This list comprises the LDS prophets and apostles who were married before the Church came to Utah. I included William Clayton to replace William E. McLellan because his wife’s age was not known. Each woman is the FIRST wife of the husband.

Bathsheba Bigler was 15 years old in 1841 when she married George A. Smith (24).
Lucy Harris was 16 years old in 1808 when she married Martin Harris (25).
Vilate Murray was 16 years old in 1822 when she married Heber C. Kimball (21).
Julia A Jolley was 16 years old in 1831 when she married David Whitmer (26).
Susan Armelda Poteet was 16 years old in 1832 when she married Luke S. Johnson (26).
Maria Louisa Tanner was 17 years old in 1835 when she married Amasa M. Lyman (22).
Catherine Whitmer was 18 years old in 1825 when she married Hiram Page (25).
Sarah Long was 18 years old in 1834 when she married Lyman E. Johnson (22).
Sarah Marinda Bates was 19 years old in 1836 when she married Orson Pratt (24).
Ruth Moon was 19 years old in 1836 when she married William Clayton (22).
Artemesia Beman was 19 years old in 1838 when she married Erastus Snow (20).
Jane Snyder was 19 years old in 1842 when she married Franklin D. Richards (21).
Lucy Mack was 21 years old in 1796 when she married Joseph Smith, Sr (24).
Elizabeth Godkin was 21 years old in 1820 when she married Thomas B. Marsh (21).
Jerusha Barden was 21 years old in 1826 when she married Hyrum Smith (26).
Phoebe Ann Babcock was 21 years old in 1828 when she married David W. Patten (29).
Betsey Thompson was 21 years old in 1831 when she married John E. Page (34).
Caroline Amanda Grant was 21 years old in 1833 when she married William Smith (21).
Marinda Nancy Johnson was 21 years old in 1834 when she married Orson Hyde (29).
Jennetta Richards was 21 years old in 1838 when she married Willard Richards (34).
Harriet Benton was 22 years old in 1823 when she married Lyman Wight (26).
Elizabeth Schott was 22 years old in 1825 when she married Jacob Whitmer (25).
Emma Hale was 22 years old in 1827 when she married Joseph Smith (21).
Elizabeth Ann Whitmer was 22 years old in 1832 when she married Oliver Cowdery (26).
Miriam Works was 23 years old in 1824 when she married Brigham Young (23).
Pamelia Andrus was 23 years old in 1832 when she married Ezra T. Benson (21).
Ann Schott was 24 years old in 1825 when she married Christian Whitmer (27).
Sarah Jackson was 24 years old in 1833 when she married John Whitmer (30).
Sarah DeArmon Pea was 24 years old in 1838 when she married Charles C. Rich (28).
Vashti Higley was 25 years old in 1832 when she married Peter Whitmer, Jr (23).
Mary Bailey was 26 years old in 1834 when she married Samuel H. Smith (26).
Thankful Halsey was 30 years old in 1827 when she married Parley P. Pratt (20).
Phoebe Whittemore Carter was 30 years old in 1837 when she married Wilford Woodruff (30).
Susannah Lowell was 32 years old in 1836 when she married John F. Boynton (24).
Mary Adaline Goddard was 33 years old in 1845 when she married Lorenzo Snow (31).
Leonora Cannon was 36 years old in 1833 when she married John Taylor (24).

Cynthia Ann (maiden name and birth date unknown) in 1829 married William E. McLellan (23).

The average age difference between a teenage bride and her husband was 4.9 years. The largest age difference between a teenage bride and her husband was 10 years.

The average age of marriage for the women in the list is 22.1 years. The median age is 21 years.

The average age of marriage for the men in the list is 25.0 years. The median age is 24.5 years.

"The average age of marriage for the women in the list is 22.1 years. The median age is 21 years.

The average age of marriage for the men in the list is 25.0 years. The median age is 24.5 years."

It would be cool to compare these more normal averages to the apostles and their polygamous wives from 1850-1900 in Utah.

Mormons say sex-within-marriage is good...but then polygamous marriages are somehow less objectionable if they were sexless?
They're admitting polygamy is objectionable.

I founds ways to make it more acceptable in my mind, my whole life. Once I found out Joe married a 14 year old when he was 37, I was never able to shake it.

Hellen Mar Kimball is my savior of sorts. She helped me admit that the Holy Ghost was misleading me.

Tell her to trot on down to the Family History Library and look up the census data for Utah for the last part of the 1800s. Up until about 1910, men outnumbered women in Utah. Heck, they outnumbered women in most of the western states and although the numbers were more balanced in Utah, there were still more men than women. That is independent U.S. data, worthy of being used in the church history library - not anti-Mormon propaganda. Ask her to explain that.

She's right in that it IS or WAS necessary for a person to reach the CK and attain "godhood." It was not necessary for any other reason. The whole "ratio of women to men" was invented after-the-fact in order explain away bad behavior.

I've read apologist articles that admit that there was no reason for it besides the fact that God commanded it. All common apologist arguments are easy to dissect, so they have to stick with "it was really just a sort of Abrahamic test...they didn't WANT to practice polygamy."

In any case, LDS scripture clearly teach that the ONLY reason for it is to raise up seed. I've seen apologists admit that it was a terrible system for that...polygamous wives would have had more children if they had had their own husbands. They're willing to abandon their scripture before they admit that polygamy was a mistake. They can NEVER admit that it was a mistake, because the church was lead by polygamous prophets for over 100 years!

The book of Jacob in the BoM teaches that it was an abomination, that God delights in the chastity of women, etc... However, if there was EVER a need for the God to raise up seed, it would have been among the Nephites...they had to populate an entire continent starting with a dozen people.

At no time did women outnumber men.