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Posted by: thingsithink ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 01:22AM

I'm a non-mormon. My mormon friend occasionally brings up mormon topics like what the after-life is like, trusting your feelings, etc.

When he's on a mormon related rant, what is the best response on my part (to drive him nuts)? So far I've just listened, look and nod ever so slightly. I don't add anything, ask anything or reveal what I'm thinking.

Should I keep that up or change my strategy?

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Posted by: pioneerrose ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 01:56AM

Ask him if it's true that the father of Jesus is a spaceman. I know it freaked out an adult that accompanied some missionaries a number of years ago.

That idiot entered my girlfriends home, pushing her out of the way, and demanded that my friend tell her who she had been talking too. She didn't give me up.

She had to threaten to call the cops if he didn't leave right now!

I guess I would have been ex'ed long before I was when I informed them I resigned.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/21/2013 01:59AM by pioneerrose.

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Posted by: Joy ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 01:59AM

What, exactly do you want?

If you want the Mormon to go away, just say, "No religion or politics in the workplace, please."

If you want to make a Mormon angry, say, "I don't want to hear about Mormonism. Mormons believe in polygamy in heaven, and they are anti-Gay." Change the subject.

If you are just sick of one-sided conversations, say: "Let me tell you what I'm interested in...." Go off on a similar lecture about Buddhism, politics, your dog, your children, gardening, or whatever. Make it as boring and weird as possible.

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Posted by: Mormon Observer ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 02:31AM

I love to ask them why the creator of the universe, Jesus, needs to shop at Tiffany’s when he returns....

A soup kitchen or a mall? What would Jesus do?

Why would God, the master of the universe and who created me need me to learn a bunch of hokey pokey passwords and gestures as if I were ten years old with a back yard 'boys only' club house in a tree?

Some facts you'd like set straight>

a retarded person is automatically in the Celestial Kingdom because they can never have enough understanding to be able to be baptized. They were born innocent and have a free pass.

A black person with the 'blood of Cain" wasn't valiant in the pre-existence, so they were marked with a black skin and not allowed to have the priesthood until 1978. The best they could hope for was a 'servant' in the Celestial Kingdom.

SO THEN WHAT HAPPENS to a retarded black person. Were they valiant or innocent?

Does your wife agree to having more than one wife? Does she know that it is required for you to have more than one wife or you can't be in the Celestial Kingdom?

Does she know she cannot be in the Celestial kingdom unless she is a 'sister wife' forever and ever? Is that her ideal of heaven????Sharing her husband with everyone else? Intimately?

Do the lesser kingdoms really get a genderless body like a Barbie/Ken doll with only the mammary glands to identify gender????

Do they believe the Devil rides the water in the last days and they should avoid water on Sundays at all costs; swimming-boating-water skiing?

If you are only to eat 'simple meals' on Sunday how can you justify a large roast beef, ham, barbeque etc. dinner on Sunday?

How do they use tobacco on bruises????

If you are not to shop on Sunday is it okay to use a vending machine?

Do you really wear special underwear?
Are they comfortable???
Do they really protect you from harm? Can they stop a bullet?

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Posted by: thingsithink ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 06:51AM

"SO THEN WHAT HAPPENS to a retarded black person. Were they valiant or innocent?"

I really like this. After working through the questions about a retarded black person, I'll head for the door - pull a Columbo - turn back, "oh, uh, one more thing. Your underwear . . . can they stop a bullet?"

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 07:22AM

If dinosaur bones came from another planet, why is it OK to have dinosaurs on that planet but not this one?

Is this Elohim's first planet? Parts of how it is run definitely look like a rookie operation.

There are sacred handshakes, but no sacred cocktails? That's a flaw.

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Posted by: baura ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 08:55AM

Brother Of Jerry Wrote:
> If dinosaur bones came from another planet, why is
> it OK to have dinosaurs on that planet but not
> this one?

The new temple film shows the earth as a molten blob that cools
off. This totally contradicts the "made from pieces of other
planets" explanation about the dinosaurs.

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Posted by: confused123 ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 08:13AM

Just keep saying oh my god!

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Posted by: an991 ! ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 01:42PM

I think saying oh my goddess might hurt them more. Heavenly mother shouldn't be spoken of.

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Posted by: forbiddencokedrinker ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 08:28AM

Keep pointing out that neither God or Jesus really exist, at least as supernatural beings (though we can debate the existence of a historical Jesus in another thread) and that since they are pretend, then Mormonism is an obvious fraud. They always expect you to debate bible verses, for which they are ready. They don't expect you to tear apart the foundations of western religion.

Another good line, "I agree that the Book of Mormon being a true testament of ancient Jews living in America would be miraculous. If, however, Joseph Smith just made it up, that would be less amazing. Therefore, it is probably more likely Joseph Smith just made it up, since that is the simplest possible answer. Furthermore, since the Book of Mormon got a lot of details long about pre-Columbian America, and because of the DNA testing of Native Americans has found no Middle Eastern DNA, I would say that it would be even far more miraculous that the Book of Mormon was a truthful account, then a made up one, so again, I am going with the simplest answer."

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Posted by: Makurosu ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 08:47AM

I would let him run for a few minutes and then say "Have you ever stopped to consider how ridiculous that sounds?"

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Posted by: michaelm (not logged in) ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 09:24AM

Ask them where the Book of Mormon stories happened. Try to get them to commit to either Meldrum's theories or FAIR's writings. Then use the other's sources to criticize their position. Get them fighting among themselves over Mesoamerica and the heartland models.

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Posted by: kolobian ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 09:39AM

The best way to drive a mormon nuts is to marginalize their beliefs by simply placing their beliefs in the "religion box."

For example,

Eternal Families: "yeah, most western religions teach families will be together forever. The mormon idea is funny because they act like if you don't participate in temple rituals you'll get amnesia in the afterlife and forget who your family was. That's just silly."

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Posted by: crom ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 12:30PM

I like that one.

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Posted by: David Jason ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 09:58AM

Just ask them why they won't let homosexual gets married? I think most Mormons realize the only reason is because their church says so, and they are normally at least a little embarrassed by it. When they respond that they believe marriage should be between a man and a women, ask why they practiced polygamy then, that seems pretty hypocritical.

Just let them know you wouldn't want to be part of a church that can't let adults (not minors) be married to those they love. Then they might take it to marrying animals & sin causing the destruction of the nation. Just let him know these aren't animals these are adults and he sounds kind of crazy.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/21/2013 09:59AM by David Jason.

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Posted by: No Mo ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 10:46AM

Most Mormons are not even aware of some of the stranger doctrinal and historical facts of their cult (although the silly temple cloths, secret temple handshakes and magic underwear should be a giveaway to these brainwashed cultists). Read up on the website Mormonthink and come up with your own questions. I am sure that he doesn't know that Joseph Smith was a pedophile and a bigamist and married other men's wives. A good place to start is the lack of archeological and DNA evidence of Jews in Pre-Columbian America. The BoM lists so many articles, food, and animals that did not exist in the Americas prior to the arrival of Europeans, such as horses, cattle, coins, steel, wheat, wheels, etc. Good luck. These people don't really know their own religion, just the whitewashed nonsense that the leaders want them to know. They deny most facts as just lies if you bring up the truth to them.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/21/2013 10:54AM by No Mo.

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Posted by: wolfsbane ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 11:07AM

If you want to simply annoy a Mormon do the following: refer to god as a woman. Like, if god is unchanging, why does she change her doctrines so much? Also refer to LDS apostles without their middle initials. Like, so what new prophecies did Tom Monsoon declare last conference? And, how is Dave Bednar doing. It will drive them nuts.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/21/2013 11:08AM by wolfsbane.

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Posted by: Heresy ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 11:13AM

If you value the friendship, you are on the right path. Another option would to independently bring up religion in a philosophical way.

If you want to drive him nuts, you'd probably need to study the religion in some depth. It isn't worth the effort.

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Posted by: Mormon Observer ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 11:36AM

Ask them if the hunting reserves in Florida and Alberta are for "members only" and have they ever hunted there????

Most members have NO IDEA those reserves exist! only the big 15 or other special members get to go hunting there!

Tell them you're glad their religion works for them but you think their God is too small.

Ask them if a theif who steals from the elderly in the retirement home is more righteous if they don't drink coffee?

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Posted by: Sid ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 11:52AM

Ask them why, if they have the only true church. And they identify as a Christian faith. And they have the only true answer to god. Why then, if all Christian churches use the bible do the Mormons use a book that has been disproven scientifically? And the same book has been proven 100 percent of the time to be fiction.

Ask them why they, the Mormons are better than you, more right than you, and superior to you.

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Posted by: Cali Sally ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 12:25PM

If your goal is to drive him nuts, but not to get him to leave, you might try telling him that what he has told you is really, really interesting and that you have thought a lot about it all BUT when you pray about it you get really dark and creepy feelings and keep hearing an inner voice that tells you something is wrong with what he is telling you. Never give him anything specific. Just tell him it is an inner "feeling" that makes you feel creepy or maybe afraid. It will drive him nuts trying to figure out what you are doing wrong so you don't "feel the spirit". He will blame you for not having the spirit with you because that is the only reason you wouldn't be getting good feelings. He might even start to be afraid of you if he thinks you are a dark and evil person. He'll probably tell you to do things like give up coffee drinking, go to church with him, take the missionary discussions and, most especially, read the Book of Mormon. Just keep telling him that before you accept any of those things as the will of God, you first need to feel something positive or "spiritual" about his message or you might be letting him lead you astray. I guarantee he'll get pretty hot and bothered and likely angry too.

I'd probably keep up what you are doing now. That will likely make him nuts too and prevent you getting drawn into the craziness that is Mormonism. If he demands some kind of response from you at some point I'd just stay cool and say something like, "I don't know man. I can't wrap my brain around all that."

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Posted by: jerry64 ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 03:39PM

or some other fantasy novel you're familiar with and tell him that you have received signs that it is really true and that you would like him to read it and pray over it and see if he gets the same signs.

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Posted by: crom ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 12:29PM

He is incapable of objectivity. He is inherently biased. His faith means that he believes in "truths" that cannot be demonstrated or proven. All evidence is accepted or rejected to fit his faith.

That's why keeping faith out of secular or "real" life is so important.

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Posted by: X'd@10 ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 12:55PM

I tried this one once, got a mixed response.

During discussion about climate change and evoulution with TBMs I made this comment: that the end of the createous period, about 65000000 years ago, must have occured because Sister God had the oven to high for Sunday dinner while attending the Sunday block meetings.

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Posted by: jacob ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 12:58PM

Ask him how many wives he has.

Ask her how many babies she has.

Ask them to show you some magic underwear.

Ask how much they sell their signs and tokens for.

Ask him if the president of the church has ever called him on a mission to get him away from his wife.

Ask her if the president of the church has ever made unsolicited advances.

Ask them how many malls it takes to feed one impoverished country.

Ask them if Jesus can save you without the correct password.

Ask him if his priesthood makes up for his small manhood.

Ask her if she has the priesthood.

Ask them how many hours a week they spend sleeping trough meetings.

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Posted by: joseph smith ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 01:14PM

1. ask them "do u remember g.b. hinckster saying":
"That is the way I feel about it. Our whole strength rests on the validity of that vision. It either occurred or it did not occur. If it did not, then this work is a fraud. If it did, then it is the most important and wonderful work under the heavens.

and provide immediately with the printout of that speech and quote.

2. ask them about the 9 or 10 first vision accounts as that's the very 1st lesson they teach to a new investigator and that IS THE FOUNDATION OF MORG. and immediately provide them with the printouts of the scanned originals that are available online (here's the link: )

3. the ask them - do you believe the church is true when you know now that it's a fraud.

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Posted by: joseph smith ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 01:17PM

that's what I'm going to do with 2 missionaries in my city next sunday and I'll try to deal with the bishop seperately.

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Posted by: joseph smith ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 01:21PM

my goal is to make a financial damage to morg cult at least as big as the total amount of my tithing money.
how do I do that? I'll make some missionaries to doubt when they see those facts and the bishop as well.
here in Europe 99% of mormons DON'T know ANYTHING about the $h!t behind morg cult.
once I manage at least one tithing paying morg to quit the cult my goal will be achieved. I won't get my tithing money back in cash but I'll make a damage to the cult.

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Posted by: joseph smith ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 01:28PM

I used to preach shit believing it's true.
since it's in my nature to be honest and to talk and do what I believe in I just don't see another way but to preach the gospel of truth. according to b. young - antimormons are ant-truth.
by the way - if any body knows the link to that original quote please post it here. as mormons think all the literature is antimormon unless they don't see the originals and even then it's tough.
actually I do it a lot - saw the seeds of the doubt/truth.
I travel a lot and every time it's a sunday I attend a local morg cult (preferably on the fast sunday) and read the quotes from the pulpit whil "bearing my testimony". WHAT A THRILL THAT IS - saying that js saw nephi instead of moroni!!! infront of morg audience!!!

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Posted by: joseph smith ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 01:35PM

in Europe everybody is in shock! that's way morgs need to rescue Sweden because people here in Europe DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.
Not about poligamy
not about 9 1st vision accounts
not about jesus mall
not about mount meadows
not about hinderkook
not about mark hoffman
not about face in the hat translation
not about 200 pounds gold pates that js was carrying while running for 3 miles
not about js antibank
not that js killed 2 and injured 1 in the jail
not about js and masons
not about js and money digging

but thanks to me they are being enlightened. and the apostasy is rolling like a stone that no one can stop it's accelerating like an F1 car or if u want like a nascar

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Posted by: joseph smith ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 01:39PM

1 resigned missionary or any other kind of mrog = x euros loss for the cult = moral compensation for me


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Posted by: joseph smith ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 01:47PM

a short note about shunning.
I don't understand those exmormons who feel emotionally destroyed by shunning.
so do you enjoy fake relation ships?
so u miss mingling with liars and hypocrats? I can partly understand if that's your family but if those are unrelated to family IT'S YOU WHO SHOULD SHUN THEM!!!!
that's what I did and am doing still - started shunning them when I resigned.
I feel there's a lot in side of me I need to vent. didn't realise it till now.
actually my exit story was interesting. I thing I'll share it one day here.
peace, fuck off

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Posted by: anagrammy ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 01:30PM

My suggestion would be to listen for a while, then say,

"Would you be offended if we discuss instead topics of mutual interest instead of your personal beliefs?"


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Posted by: sherlock ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 02:04PM

Never use the middle initial or title when referring to Apostles / prophets. I.e. 'Tom Monson', 'Dave Bednar', 'Tom Perry' etc.

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Posted by: CA girl ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 02:16PM

Act like they are nothing special:

But EVERYONE believes they will be with their family in heaven.

Well, that's your belief but it doesn't work for me.

Most people have feelings and promptings about their lives - that's nothing special to Mormonism. That's just life.

Act like their fabulous claims are run of the mill. They hate being treated like they aren't special and chosen.

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Posted by: kolobian ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 03:30PM


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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 02:54PM

Why would anyone want to waste valuable trying to drive a NUT NUTS?

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Posted by: Dead Cat ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 03:41PM

Tell him you prayed about that once but got a different answer.

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Posted by: cheezus ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 03:42PM

Or what about coming across as accepting of some of his points, and saying that is a lot less weird than some of those religions where the leader would marry other guy's wives, or be suckered in with finding manufactured records that caused the leader of some "other" religion to think god was talking just to him. Ge him to agree that it is weird/strange/unfortunate the give him a few days and tell him that strange religion you were talking about WAS the Mormons as it turns out. Cog dis that mofo!

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Posted by: EXON46 ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 03:45PM

Where a tank top and drink a coke.

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Posted by: jiminycricket ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 04:12PM

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/21/2013 05:26PM by jiminycricket.

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Posted by: Ten Bear ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 04:36PM

One way: "I've thought about the things you've said over time and I was kind of perplexed. So I prayed. The answer was that the LDS church is not true. I feel really good with that answer. I know it was from God. I'm at peace now. Kind of like a warm feeling in my chest that comforts me."

It's kind of like giving them their own medicine .... in their own language.

It's like telling your hitch hiker that someone could make a video of "5 Minute Abs".

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Posted by: madalice ( )
Date: October 21, 2013 04:47PM

Read the book of Abraham (it's short). Ask him to explain the things you read. You won't even believe how crazy that book is.

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