It's a bittersweet thing.

I found out by seeing a photo of my DIL and our first grandbaby, a girl, on her mother's FB page. In August, we were informed that we are not the kind of people who should be around our son's children, and to have a nice life.

Fucking cult.

I feel for you twojedis, that hurts. I suggest you send them a letter informing them you will agree to not discuss religion, so long as they return the favor, but that you hope they can be mature enough to understand that it is not healthy to block people out of their lives, and that in the case of your son, that you raised him better then that.

So sorry about how you're being treated. It's always sad for me to see how conditional tscc's focus on the family really is. I'm sure you and sithlord would be awesome grandparents, and I sincerely hope that at some point you will have the chance to participate in your grandchildren's lives.

Oh my! I am so sorry. I hope things change eventually, that is horrible.

Totally sucks! Hope they have a change of heart.

I am so sorry. Mormonism is NOT a family oriented sect.

Very very sorry to hear this.
Thinking of you.

When I saw you put "cursing" in the heading, I wondered if that would be the case. My oldest daughter has two beautiful grand daughters that I rarely get to see because I also "am not the kind of people that should be around our girls." I don't do anything, except drink coffee and watch football on Sundays.

Yes, F' cult.

I'm so sad to hear that. It's obvious they are doing this as a way to hurt you. Obviously a baby wouldn't be damaged by you holding her.

What are they going to do when the child goes to school and has a teacher that isn't mormon? Or how about a teacher that's exmo?
Their excuse is lame and doesn't hold water. This is all about them. If they truly had their childs best interests at heart they wouldn't deny her the joy of grandparents.

twojedis, That must make you feel so bad about yourself. This child's parents are very mean. I hope they will be nicer to you. This makes me feel bad. You are right. this is a sick cult run by the devil.

your DIL's? There may come a time where they NEED your help.

I am POSITIVE that won't happen to me even with my TBM daughter. Even if she has lots of "mormon moms"--it always comes back to me when she really needs someone.

I hope they change their minds. How far away do you live from them? Can you send a gift? Will they allow that? Be the better person. They have a lot to learn.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/22/2013 05:12PM by cl2.

cl2 Wrote:
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> your DIL's? There may come a time where they NEED your help.

This is so true. Both my mom and I helped my SIL after she had a C-section. She didn't have to lift a finger except to feed her new baby. We cooked, cleaned, cared for her older child, changed diapers, did pet care, and even threw a lovely Christmas party!

My mom (and sometimes I) would later take my niece and nephew for a week or more at a time while their parents enjoyed some adults-only vacation time. My mom also hosted the kids for overnights.

I can't imagine parents giving that up because loving grandparents are not toeing the Mormon line.

A thread. My ability to speak with my grandchildren is only hanging by a thread. After the conference I got a little time with them, not saying anything about TSCC but encouraging a GD to get her education instead of going on a mission. Then the grandchildren and I went over to their other grandparents for supper and thereafter my time was spent out of the presence of the kids. These people are super TBMs. I had a discussion with the step-grandfather and it blew me away how extreme TBM he is. The home has nothing but mormon literature. The kids, some at least, are being home-schooled and this in Utah. The older ones are not getting the education they need.....I told one of the older ones about how our family history fit in with the history assignment she had and she was unaware of any it.

Anyway, I am at least able to see them once a year, if I'm lucky.

That's just infuriating. I'm so sorry that has happened to you.

I've changed my mind. I said I didn't care one way or the other if the Church disappeared.

Maybe it should. This is ridiculous.

That deserves an "f-ing cult" from me too.

That's a shame.

I'm sorry they're treating you so shabbily.

Hi S and T,

I am sorry to hear of you children's banning, and of the pain that is now attached to a joyful event.

I do understand, I have an 8 year old and a 6 year old grand children whom I never see because I am not a good enough person to be their grandmother. It hurts, and it will always be painful.

But I see it as their problem, which sadly they will pass on to their children. You are the same. You son and his wife are being unbeleivably judgemental. So sad.

I send my love and the biggest of exmo hugs to you both!!

and anyone else being so mistreated this way.

These parents are depriving their children of a wealth of love and wisdom. How shameful!

OMG, do we have the same son? I hope you don't spend as many years as I did setting yourself up to get beat up by your kids. I doubt you will. You are much smarter and stronger than I am.

Sometimes I wish I'd known the rules of the game years ago. I think of how much schit I went through to see that they had a relationship with their grandparents after I divorced. To say I hated my ex inlaws with a passion would be an understatement. But they cared about my kids and they were so batshit crazy that they made for fun grandparents. I didn't feel like I had a right to deny my kids their grandparents who loved them. I realized my mother put up with a lot from my grandparents who I loved when she also had a MIL who she was never good enough for.

But I won't let my kids use their kids as pawns in a game anymore. I played their little game for far too long, "if you want to see our kids get down on the ground and let us kick the schit out of you." Then I'd get back up and set myself up to be beat up again. No more.

Our kids know we are not only NO danger to our grandkids, but a source of love for them. But either they care enough about their kids to let them partake of that love or they don't. Mine don't, they'd rather be selfish and put themselves ahead of their kids. And if I'd known what the rules would be, I might have done the same thing. They might have been better off if I'd kept them from the crazy coot who thought he was a general in the New Mormon Battalion and was prepping for the trip to Missouri. That included hoarding so many guns and ammo that he had a f**king arsenal. Yup and I'm the dangerous one.

Hang in there. All I can do is empathize, I have no advice, but time really does help get past it.

That's exactly it. I'm not going to play games and live in a cage. We've done nothing more than leave the church, and speak our minds in our own space. If that's dangerous, then fuck him. I'm sad for him that he can't see the kind of people we are, the good we do in the world, the kindness we spread, the spunk I have. To him we are worth throwing away.

This must be an actual thing. I can't believe how many grandparents on this thread are banned from their grand kids' lives.

I would be p issed.

To the church must really think that they are on shakey ground if you can't risk having your kds exposed to other iews. When i went to church we studied and even visited other churches. Sad for you but some day the grand kids will want tbeir parent to account for what they are doing

I just don't understand why they would be so GD arrogant as to do this to you!!! My nephew is a Mormon [convert] and his Mom [my sister] is an atheist and super feminist and the opposite of a Mormon robot woman. Her Grandchild [my nephew's child] is the center of her universe...she is the BEST Grandma any child could be fortunate enough to have. And her son and wife really appreciate her and have a great relationship with her.

They are denying their child the great experience of knowing 2 wonderful Grandparents...shame on them!

I am so very sorry. That is heartbreaking. Not much comfort, I am sure, that they are also losing out. And they are denying a child, whom they profess to love, irreplaceable experiences.

Sorry for this yucky time twojedis and sithlord...

Does this situation just scream CULT!!!

Ugh...so tough to not hurt right now.

hugs

aa

You should send your son & DIL the youtube of that that Jeff Holland interview where he claims the church doesn't shun apostates.

My heart goes out to you!

Unfortunately, your son and daughter in law are withholding grandparents love from their kids. Grandparents love is very special and cannot be replaced by anyone else.

Have you considered writing letters to your grandchild, mailing them to yourself and keeping them for the day they will come searching for you? Then they will have evidence of the love their parents withheld from them.

I would treasure letters like that from my mom's parents.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/22/2013 10:07PM by evergreen.

Thank you for that idea. I think it's a good plan, maybe write a letter each month and save them.

So much pain when there should be so much love.

Am I wrong to wish that this little girl grows up and gets multiple piercings and then bans her parents from her children because they are nutty cultists who try to convert her children? Oh, please, Mr. Karma, make it so.

Well, you son's and wife's behavior is just so typical of those with their heads in a hat (or up their arse). Sorry to hear of another family destroyed by the cult.