Man, when will I ever learn... I let my true blue TBM mil watch my kids (age 5 and 3) for an hour while I took care of an errand. And of course two days later I've got my very thoughtful five year old asking me, "Mom, is the holy ghost really real or just pretend?

ugh

Yes, she's been telling him that he has a holy ghost living inside of him that tells him the right thing to do. She actually told him that when he does the right thing, it's because of the holy ghost. Which pisses me off to no end because I value personal responsibility above all.

She read him a book that featured the holy ghost saying "Stop!" when the characters were about to do something bad. Of course that book wasn't out when I left them with her, she brought that trash into my house and hid it from my sight. Duplicitous b*tch that she is...

So we had another one of our conversations about how some people, grandma included, really *really* want to think that some make believe things are real. We talked about how there's no evidence for those things. I asked him how could he determine for himself if something is real or not and that led to a discussion about tangible evidence. I introduced the concept of the conscience. I'm lucky that this kid is so bright, he wont be sold on it, he's a natural critical thinker and I hope he helps his little brother (who loooves religious mumbo jumbo) become a critical thinker too.

How funny that her secret attempts to indoctrinate backfire and ultimately my son laughs and thinks that her believing in make believe is childish.

I have done a very good job of reducing her unsupervised visits. Every time I slip up and think she will respect my parenting choices, she reminds me and my resolve strengthens.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/26/2013 12:41AM by southern.

That's a lot of indoctrinating in one hour. She sounds highly motivated.

She is. She's always had too keen of an interest in my kids, it's kind of freaky. She does it every chance she gets. She would plan her life around attempting to indoctrinate my kids if she could. Which sounds like an exaggeration but it's not. She has actually called me and my husband at times crying because she hadn't seen the kids in x amount of weeks. I think she has some sort of mental disorder but I'm not sure what. I've got my eye on her, for sure... I trust her not to hurt my kids, but I do not trust her to play any real role in raising them.

She sounds certifiable.

My mom totally does that too with my niece and nephews. Actually she is always looking for teachable moments for me too and I'm fucking 35!

Singleminded, wants to share the brainwashing because it's literally all. she's. got.
Since she knows nothing else, I mean sure she has hobbies, but somehow she can frame EVERYTHING through mormon goggles. She literally can't imagine not framing anything mormon style, so everybody needs to join in. She is absolutely convinced she and mormons are the only happy ones, yet she is so clearly unhappy, especially around me because I don't play along.

Mmmm sounds a little like my mother.......she cried her eye's out for a week when my niece was baptized into the Catholic Church.

Time for boundaries.

On the one hand, I do think that she's actually trying to do what, in her mind, is the 'right' thing to do, that she truly believes she's saving him and so her intentions are good.

On the other hand, this kind of passive aggressive shit infuriates me. How could ahe possibly believe you wouldn't figure out what she was doing?!

Your approach to the situation is great. :) It's great that you're teaching them how to think logically.

Kids are so darn smart. By five they are very good at sorting out what's real and what's make-believe. I spent way too many years being three years old in my thinking--monsters (Satan) and Santa Claus (God).

I love that my kid, 23, is an atheist who is only polite/respectful to her overbearing TBM grandmother.

I think our most rabid Mormons would be horrified to find out how often and how effectively we turn their attempts at brainwashing our children into the most convincing anti-Mormon arguments around. My kids love my mom but they don't want to be a crazy religious fanatic like her. In fact, they've noted on their own how the older Mormon women in our extended family all seem crazy, out there and fanatical. They don't want to end up like that and boy, do I point out every opportunity they have to THINK rather than to accept crazy make-believe like ____________ (fill in the blank with TBM name)

Two thumbs up to you for spotting a teaching moment and making the most of it. Teaching kids to think for themselves and showing respect for their opinions, based on what they've reasoned out, is a great gift to give any child, even more so one that will be combating something like Mormonism in their lives.

I was just going to say, that older people don't realize how easy it is to convince younger people that the oldsters are just a touch bit crazy.

If you ask the grandkids in my family what they think of their TBM grandparents, they all roll their eyes and make the sign for cuckoo. Even the TBM grandkids.

Nobody takes them too serious. Well, except themselves. They think they're the most righteous people they know.

This anonnamoose. They think they are so wonderfully righteous they can't even imagine their efforts are undermining their goals.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/26/2013 02:02AM by CA girl.

Great job at undoing the damage. He sounds like quite the thinker at five. Of course, that logical little mind is going to cause you some problems down the road, he won't fall for "Because I said so!"

You know that one day he is going to explain to granny that she relies on make believe and that he knows better. And that granny should use her brains to make decisions not some made up guy. I can imagine the sour lemon look on her face as she digests that information.

Is it so that all grandchildren think grandma is a bit crazy?

My grandchildren do - they say 'Nana is bonkers' but I respond with a 'thank goodness - I thought I was getting boring in my old age' :-)

You are all correct though, grandparents need to tread carefully around the little ones for sure.

Briggy

I'd suggest she needs to promise she won't do this or the visits will have to be 100% supervised.

Wow. My mother would never undermine my sister's parenting. There are plenty of things that she disagrees with, but she always honours my sister's requests and does acknowledge that my sister and her husband are great parents.

My sister would totally call my Mom, or her mother-in-law, on something like that. She's a bit of an over-polite gal, like I am, but when it comes to her kids, she becomes a protective Mama Bear.

These are your children, not hers, and she needs to be reminded of this fact. When she's crying that she hasn't seen them, she needs to be told that it's her own darn fault.