Even when I helped the youth the mechanical temple baptisms for the dead, it felt like a tomb. Especially being down in the temple basement. No windows. etc. Confirmations each in seconds. No spirit.
Yea, I did the baptism for the dead only also. When I left, I was into my 3rd temple class (I think 3rd) anyway, the baptism for the dead thin kinda freaked me out. Having to change into the white jumpsuit and watching the goings on while waiting my turn was very weird to me. I think I was dunked about 10 or so times one after the other. Then on to the conformation (think that's what they call it) room for the ones I just got dunked for. I just wanted out of there. Seeing the cows around the dunking pool was strange to me. Didn't understand what cows (oxen I think) had to do with baptism. But the weird part was the locks on the lockers. That I totally did not get. Of all places....
into English spent lots of "along time" in the SL temple. She once described that the silence she experienced in the temple one day while praying for God to speak to her one day "screamed at her" and was deafening.
While touring the Logan temple prior to its re-dedication I too had the same experience. It was like being in a tomb.
When walking through all floors of the temple all alone, I always felt comfortable enough. But I never at any time felt the spirit there at any time. The baprisms were cold and mechanical, tshe initiatory strange, the endowment a crashing bore, the sealings claustrophobic. I witnessed some vindictive and nasty behaviour between the workers and staff. There IS a spirit of mass delusion and self agrandisement.
What really shocked the Fuck out of me was that they re-use all of the temple names. I thought I had been "special" ... that they chose the name "Claudia" just for me. What a crock of shit LOL.
It was one of the things I had looked forward to "all my life" (at least since I had heard it the first time). My very special name was LUCY. Even my ex--when he took me through the veil--said, 'WHAT!?' I had to repeat it.
First of all, I expected something in God's language--whatever that was, certainly not a normal name like Lucy. AND I always hated the name Lucy. Don't know why--just had a very negative attitude towards it. My thought was--first of all--WTF--this is no God given name--let alone, God must not know me very well if he named me Lucy. That was one of the "shelf" items.
Even my TBM daughter chuckles about that temple name, especially when her aunt named her dog Lucy.
I must add--in terms of the OP--the attitude of the bitchy old ladies very much detracts from any good feeling you could possibly have??? If you could have one. I didn't go to the temple EVER to be chastised and critiqued.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/27/2013 10:39AM by cl2.
cl2 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > First of all, I expected something in God's > language--whatever that was, certainly not a > normal name like Lucy.
+1.
My name was Susanna.
Edit for context: I realise there's a biblical Susanna, but all I could think about was my high school friend. That made it so weird.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/07/2014 12:15PM by safetynotguaranteed.
The first time I went through the temple, I was really creeped out by it. It was a dark feeling. Maybe it was just the unknown or the rumors I heard about the old temple ceremony (I went through a month after the 1990 changes). But it was a definite weird, dark, scary feeling. Later it changed to boredom. But I never really felt uplifted. If anything, I just felt good because I accomplished another thing on my massive Mormon to do checklist.
I was in the Celestial Room one time and saw a couple quietly praying together with tears in their eyes. They were not disturbing anyone. Then, a temple worker walks up to them and tells them they can't do that. It was just another nail in the coffin for me that TSCC isn't about worship of God. It is all about control and $$$.
I was always glad to get it over with. Then I took my broke ass over to Carl's Jr. on Bulldog Blvd in Provo and thought to myself, "I can buy anything with money." But I wouldn't use my signs and tokens for money. You kinda need those to walk past the angels that stand as sentinals to get in the CK.
The first time I went to the temple was as a teen, to do baptisms for the dead. This was in the 60's before the Oakland Temple and we traveled by bus overnight to the LA Temple. All of that was fun. When we finally got to the temple and entered I expected some huge influx of spirit. ----nothing. Except one of the girls gushing, "Oh can't you just feel the spirit here??!!" Me (mentally) "Uhhh noooo".
Took out my endowments in the Oakland Temple (was getting married a few weeks later). My fiancé and I went by ourselves since none of our parents were "worthy". I remember sitting on the women's side all alone. I didn't even get a person assigned to me (can't remember what they call them). When getting dressed in the dressing room I was wondering if it was okay to wear my bra -- no one to ask, so I didn't. Funny how I remember that. The Oakland temple was new and there was no movie and no live actors. We sat in a big room and listen to a tape recording. I was so confused. Finally got to the Celestial room. Fiance asks if I have any questions. "Uh nooo, except WTF just happened and did I really agree to slit my throat and disembowel myself?" But I didn't really say that. Just said 'no' and smiled like a good little LDS girl. As we left the Celestial room someone stopped us and asked fiancé to be a witness to the sealing of a couple who had no one to be with them. So we went in and I got to see the "Marriage". Pretty unimpressed, but I felt so sorry for them to be so alone.
Wedding day -- Did a session before the sealing. I wore a rented (from the temple) "wedding dress" -- Felt pretty damn ugly. I watched other brides (it was obvious due to their dresses - real ones. Found that I kept wondering if this was their first time in the temple and if they had oil in their hair from the washing and anointing. Kept thinking how awful to have oil in your hair on your wedding day. Got married -- sealed. My grandmother was there and a handful of missionary companions of hubby and a couple of guys we both new from the ward in high school. (Yeah - we were high school sweethearts. He was fresh off his mission and I was barely 20.) We were married in the SL Temple and our parents had flown in from SF Bay Area to wait around with the rest of the great unwashed and arranged a nice luncheon for us to celebrate. My college roomies were there and both sets of grandparents (mine). Very small but sweet of them to do it. for us, considering that they were left out of the important part.
This is getting longer than I planned -- sorry.
We spent the first several years on the east coast with no temple really near. When we moved to Utah and they finally built the Provo temple we tried to go often for a while. Have to say that I always hated it. Never felt any spirit except the spirit of boredom.
The second to last time I ever went we were at the 'true order of prayer' part and my face was veiled (why do that anyway -- it always made me feel inferior -- maybe that is why they do it) and they were doing the Pay Lay Ale part with the arms up and down and I was watching and suddenly had an image of a bunch of old men in some lodge or club or whatever with the Grand Pubah going through the gestures. And I thought, "This is all really stupid!"
That set me on my way out of the church (along with a few other issues), and I asked myself - "Why am I doing things I don't want to do (go to church, pay tithing, wear garments, etc) and NOT doing things I WOULD like to do (drink coffee, and wine and choose my own underwear) in order to have permission to do something I REALLY HATE doing -- go to the temple".
Went as inactive as I could get away with and stayed under the radar in order to be able to keep my recommend until my youngest daughter got married, so I could be there. Her wedding was the last time I went to the temple -- and that experience only increased my dislike for the place.
So -- way longer that I expected it to be, but those are feelings inside the temple!. Thanks for reading. :)
The very first time I ever felt anything off or creepy about the church, I went to a broadcast of a temple dedication. It creeped me out with the weird waving of the white flag and repetitive chanting. I remember telling my mom how I felt and just KNOWING she was gonna make me feel dumb. She did. I wish I had the autonomy at that point to look into the church, but I must have been 13 (I'm 28 now).
I am pretty sure that experience made me much more comfortable when I eventually received my endowments. I remember in the mission, I loved the temple because it was the only clean place with real carpet and A/C haha. I always just took a nap. It was the best!
I felt a weird mix of nauseated and on the edge of hysterical laughter the entire time I was in the temple. As I just wrote in another thread, it was definitely the beginning of the end for me. So creepy. SO CREEPY.
LOL...imagine how a teenage boy like myself had to deal with seeing a younger equally hot version of a sexy latina like you wearing a clingy, wet jumpsuit. It was torture!!
it's a good thing you kept your eyes on the ground, my dear. All you would have seen is a bunch og YM adjusting their stiffies...LOL Nothing better than a wet latina! :)
Sang with my school choir in a Masonic temple when I was a teen. I was creeped out in there! Imagine how much MORE creeped out I was when I went to an LDS temple to take out my endowments for the first time and seeing the similarities. Totally creeped out! I remember my exact thought: "what kind of church do I belong to?!" But I kept that to myself for 15 years and played the perfect Molly role. I thought I just needed to be more spiritual.
I guess that never happened because I stopped going to the temple for several years before I ever allowed myself to consider it might be all made up. I just couldn't stand how creepy the veiling of faces was, the weird chanting, the odd clothing--and the prayer circle seemed downright eerie.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/07/2014 12:29PM by lineuponline.
I think a lot of these feelings could have been avoided with a little attention paid to decorating. I guess when you don't listen to either women or gays, what you get stuck with is the temple.