Were your family member passive-agressive when you left the church? Or even sometimes downright hateful?

What was thier reaction when you pointed out how un-christian this was of them?

My brother, a total TBM, has been an absolute a$$ since I stopped attending services. He acts like I done something to him. I guess he thinks that because other people ask him about me not being there, they're putting him on the spot. Does anyone else get this kind of reaction from family?

I quit attending in 1971 and it was a non-issue with my TBM parents.They showed me the respect that appears to be sadly lacking in the majority of Mormon families I read about here.
As for my extended Mormon family, they don't live in Lethbridge and my contact with them is minimal. I still have friends who are TBM. Whether they know of my resignation of not is also not an issue. If they have a problem with it, they won't be friends anymore. So far my Dentist, Doctor and Pharmacist have said nothing, if indeed they even are aware of my circumstances.

Ron Burr

My father-in-law told us we were "fucking with his forever family" when we left.

Hahahahaha!!!! Awesome.

I dunno!

They have never asked about it or hardly commented at all about one of the most significant,life-changing, and difficult events we have ever experienced.

(stupid cult)

My family hasn't, luckily, disowned me, so to speak. But there has been no sense at all that they really care what I have been going through or why, all while talking about me and the situation behind my back to all other family members possible. The pain, divorce, depression, loneliness, panic and so is right over their heads as they had already formed assumptions about my situation, which I can only surmise include deceived, sinner, and so forth. To be honest, the loneliness and despair I felt in leaving the church (getting divorced, and everything involved) was intensified the more months went by and the more I realized my parents and most siblings were never going to ask HOW I was doing, HOW I was feeling, or WHY I was going through it. Nope. They seem to already know, magically or as the result of their secret combinations behind my back.

When I told one family member that I had resigned from the church, the reply was, "Oh, (and then my name). The tone said everything while the words were pretty bland. The tone of voice was, "Oh, you stupid s&%$, Why would anyone in their right mind do that? You just dug your own grave."

I sent letters to my children informing them of my resignation as well as asking them to please look into both sides of the issue concerning the church. I spent a lot of time refining that letter and felt like it said what I wanted to say without being unkind or confrontational. I was honest and direct. I asked at the closing of the letter that if they were interested I would like to have communication with them concerning what I had written or anything else for that matter. The only thing I did request was that they let me know that they had received the letter, and this was because I wanted to know that the mail had delivered. All but one of my children did let me know that they had received the letter. I finally asked this child if he/she, TBM, had received the letter. Avoiding looking at me, the response, delivered in a snarly, why-are-you-bothering-me-tone- of-voice, was "yes." That was it. The conversation that never started was over.

I received one very thoughtful and tear-jerking letter from one of my children, two other children who are not involved in the church could not understand why I would even talk about this voicing tha if I chose to resign then I should just keep quiet out of respect for those of their siblings who were TBM. An email from another child, who is not active, gave me praise for being open and wanting to have communication. And the remaining three TBM children of my 8 have never shown any interest of talking about my resignation or their church.

The thing that shocked me most about some of the responses from my children is that I felt they had been raised to value communication, reasoning, and family BIG TIME and those would come first when they were faced with a choice. But the Mormoney Church and conformity to social pressure came first.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2013 01:52PM by presleynfactsrock.

Well gee, I don't know. They won't answer text messages or pick up their phone.

Everyone one of them stopped calling my wife. We would get calls at least one a week from her brothers and sisters. Post Mormon it's like we died and they just inform us of things long after they happen.

When I realized the truth about the church I wrote a personal heartfelt letter to my mom to break the news. Accidentally sent it to my entire email contact list.

Got a few 1-sentence replies from friends and family, and then it was never brought up again for years. I didn't see them much, but when I did, my apostasy was never brought up. I declined all invites to go to baptisms and blessings of children.

Lately they have all decided that I will return to church someday. Whenever they break the truce and talk to me about church things I see it as tacit permission to tell them about my views, which often shuts them up or puts them into testimony-bearing mode because they have no way to counter me.

In all, I don't get passive agrressive behavior from my family. I'm not as close to them as I once was, but our current relationship isn't bad.

There wasn't anything passive about it. I became a scapegoat and family devil. Younger siblings were warned of my evils. Hatred ensued.

Well let me see. Ever since last year they basically have stopped calling or even when they talk to my uncle whom I live with nothing is ever asked or said regarding me. This year has gotten a little better once my uncle had a face to face talk with my sister who lives in a different state. Though I am pretty sure they are biding their time waiting for me to get over my abuse thing. I feel like I am now left out of the loop they will calleach other but I have to try to get them to Skype with me.... I give up most days. My dad is now posting poignantly poised emails to the entire family thatalways has a personal jab in them. Yet he will not barely talk on the phone. I in some way hate my family. I feel unloved sometimes. I guess it is their blatant lack of caring as I see it at least. Stupid TBM. Stupid church.

Besides a few teary phone calls from my Mom when I first told her and my Dad I was resigning, it's been the stereotypical "avoid confrontation" treatment for me. My Mom relayed to me that my Dad told her he wasn't going to respond to the letter I sent explaning my resignation from the church because "he had nothing to say". I've talked to my Dad maybe 3, 4 times since he found out last Fall and they've all been less than 10 min. phone conversations focused mostly on what's new with him. Somehow the temple has always ended up in every phone conversation I have had with my parents since resigning. Surprise, surprise.

All I can say is that it's probably for the best that I live far away from them.

Yes. Church speak has ramped up since my sister and I left