Were you always honest in your interviews with the Bishop?
In many cases, it seems that the Bishop simply wants you to respond with what he wants to hear, even if that is not the truth. If you are not entirely honest with him, could it be said that Mormonism trains people to lie?
Absolutely! I have a friend who was raised in the church, but left when he was 18. All he has to say about being a mormon, is that it taught him how to be an excellent liar.
I ha a choice when I went in for an interview. I could lie, and keep my life going along without drama. Or I could tell the truth and let the bishop come up with ways to humiliate me. Also, when I got home I would most likely get a beating with a leather strap. This would have been true for me up until I moved out at age 17.
Truth was not something I went around blabbing about. Me and my mormon friends led two lives. There was our real life that we led at school and at our parties. Then there was the church life where we got dressed up and put on the mormon show.
They used teach the kids through song that no one likes a frowny face, change it to a smile, make the world a better place by smiling all the while.
Talk about teaching kids to bury their feelings. According to that song, nobody will like you unless you're smiling. Hence the big fake mormon smile you see plastered on their sunday morning faces.
and to keep a female a virgin as an incentive for the male.
It's all about keeping the wage-earner in bondage.
Imagine how stupid a 12-year old would have to be to tell the truth about masturbation and then be humiliated in front of friends and family by being forbidden to pass the sacrament.
This is cultural survival-of-the-fittest--the honest boy is screened out, leaving the church with the only men they can afford to spend their time with - those with little conscience and no personal integrity, those whose personal identity has been broken and reformed into a BOrg-like hive mentality-they are the church and the church is them.
OR...equally acceptable, they know it's all bogus and don't care as long as they are promoted. They are actors of the Mitt Romney style. Unfortunately for them, elite royal puppets are not successful in the public eye, because, well, the public has an eye.
The members, however, are blind and once they have been fully processed (returned from mission), they are thought to be divorced from truth and attached instead to what they are told.
1. Missionaries are expected to spin the doctrine & expectations to increase numbers.
2. Mormons have to present a different face depending of who is watching because impressing others is a basic precept in the church.
3. Mormons give different answers to the same questions to nonmos, new converts, and long term members.
4. Mormons say they were in the neighborhood and wanted to stop by. It's a lie. They say they "miss" people they don't like or have never met. They say they're concerned when they don't. They say they want to help but they don't.
5. All Mormons have to lie for TRs since everyone can't always be honest and the church frequently requires dishonesty.
Yes it definitely teaches you to lie. I learned my lesson in interviews. I once mentioned masturbation and the SP came unglued and it was humiliating. I learned some truths are not useful. Just keep it general: "Are you morally clean?" "Yes." Enough said.
If they pry, just act innocent and lie a little. "Uh bishop, I don't have a problem with that, I'm uncomfortable with you talking about those things and I don't always know what you mean."
When I was in college, I told my bishop about going too far (petting in mormon lingo) with my girlfriend. He told me I would have to wait to put in my mission papers. My roommates, on the other hand, lied through their teeth to their bishops about having sex with their girlfriends and went out into the mission field, no problem. I learned that I should have kept my mouth shut.
I learned to lie from the interviews. I never felt worthy, ever. It is a disgusting, psychological mind game that goes on in bishop's interviews. I have to believe that the bishops get sick of it too.
No doubt about it. Part of my disaffection with tscc even as a TBM was that if they taught being dishonest and lying were bad, why demand that members do it to give the church a good image?
I tried both approaches to interviews with Bishops as a YM: be honest, and face the consequences and shaming, or lie and be told what a good boy I am. Spirit of discernment my ass.
I always knew how to lie even before I was very active in Mormonism. When I was a Mormon though I tried my hardest to be completely honest. This is probably why I didn't fit in very well.
Since leaving Mormonism I have stayed an honest person, but I still have the ability to convincingly lie. It is like a nuclear weapon, I know it exists and I only use it as a last resort.
I was most definitely taught to lie. Ihad an MP nearly freak-out for telling the truth. The worstof it though, is they teach you to lie to yourself which causes cognitive dissonance which wreaks hell on your social mental and physical. Addictions are harder to overcome, obsession becomes the norm. That's the real damage of the church.
I ended up lying all the time, & I felt so sick about it. I shouldn't have had to lie about anything I did or about anything that happened to me. For instance, I would lie at tithing settlement, starting when I stopped paying when I was 9 1/2. & on a much more serious note, when I was about 13 1/2, I found out that certain kids in my ward were being barred from doing dead dunkings because they had been molested. That they were going through a trial period until they were "worthy" again. I was dead scared that I would be barred too, especially because I knew that a lot of people in the ward knew what happened to me. I lied left & right about so many things, & I kept right on lying for a long time. I knew that I had done absolutely nothing wrong - not for watching horror movies, or listening to heavy metal, or standing up for people in trouble or who were being persecuted, or for making the mistake of practically going all the way with some guy who was my so-called "friend" (we were the same age, but he was an experienced wannabe player) when I was in high school because I was extremely lonely.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/08/2013 01:05AM by Tristan.
It teaches them to evade the truth, for sure; to lie by omission.
Which is a very generous way of saying, Mormons are taught to lie.
One of their favorite tactics when dealing with investigators as missionaries, is to "not answer the question asked, instead answer the question that should have been asked".
It's an end run around the truth when confronted with it, and a very common sales pressure technique.
Simply distract and divert long enough, or confuse the asker with so many nonessential details that the original question gets lost in the shuffle.
My married friends joined not knowing enough about JS, polygamy and how pervasive it was, knowing nothing about Mountain Meadows Massacre, temple practices, bishop interviews, the financing of the SLC mall, etc.
Now conflicted and confused and feeling guilty fur even questioning, it's upsetting. And sad.
Had they had their questions answered honestly, originally, things could have been so much better, so early on in this young marriage.
Yeah. Mormons are taught to lie.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/08/2013 07:48AM by bookratt.
The cult's cover-ups, twists and turns, and out-right-bold-faced-lies about their history when discovered by its members is right at the top of teaching Mormons it is fine and dandy to lie. If the members do not say it out loud, then they are thinking, "Well, the church cult's leaders do it. Why shouldn' I?"
I also think the cult is teaching children to lie by encouraging them at such a young, young age to say, "I KNOW the church is true and Joseph Smith was a prophet." Yeh, at 3 or 4 they surely have the wherewithal to KNOW any church is true, and it sets the stage for a child to start to believe he has license and gets praise when he uses this type of behavior.
I could go on and on with examples because that is what the church is based on----a foundation of lies that gets perpetuated daily one way or another.
We all learned the fine art of lying by omission. We knew we should only tell good things about the church (milk) which were blatantly misleading.
It was more important to portray the church in a positive way and cover up the things that make the church look bad. It was "lying for the Lord" justified by thinking the "meat" might turn people off.
We did it all the time. Even in Sunday School manuals the history was so edited that it was plain dishonest. Some of the polygamist prophets were portrayed as family men married to one wife in a way that clearly was not representative of the way they lived their lives.
Even saying things like "sacred, not secret" implies omitting information.
We were taught to answer in certain ways. Yes, it was lying.
My TBM family made me an excellent liar. I don't really want to lie to them, it just makes all of our lives easier, especially as they are super controlling. I want a semi normal life, they wanted an ensign-cover family.