I lurk constantly but don't post a lot. I hardly ever start a thread. Last night, I finally had an experience that I thought was worth sharing.

I had a rude surprise last night. For the first time in about ten years or so, I had one of those “back on my mission” dreams.

Like most RMs, I had them frequently when I first came home and they eventually tapered off to a couple per year, and then one every couple of years, so I’m not shocked that another one managed to weasel its way into my sub-conscience after being home for over 25 years .

The weird thing is that this time it was not my original mission, (West Indies 1985-87), but Japan. On top of that, several of the other missionaries were my current friends and co-workers. The best part was that when I decided that I wasn’t staying I went to find the MP at a Zone-Conference and had to wait for another missionary to finish begging to be sent home.

When I got my time with the MP, I told him I was leaving, could afford the ticket home (that was an issue with the poor guy ahead of me), and asked if I could use the office and staff to make my travel arrangements, or should I simply gather my things and head out? I had the distinct impression that I was showing all of the others how to escape also.

That was about when I woke up from the dream. I guess that the rather benign nature of the dream tells me that I have mostly gotten past the damage that the mission experience caused me.

I have had dreams like that. The most recent one involved me being forcibly torn away from my family to serve a second mission. I'm immediately put with a greenie companion. I spend a day thinking about what I'd do differently this time than I did on my first mission, and then I demand to be released / sent home. I woke up then so I don't know where the story was going after that.

I had the "back on my mission" dreams for many years after my mission. Usually, the dream involves me being told that I am serving another 2 years.. and I start to freak out and try to figure out ways to get home.

Are the recurring dreams symptoms of PTSD?

gracewarrior Wrote:
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>
> Are the recurring dreams symptoms of PTSD?


I don't know that those dreams either are, or are not, a symptom of PTSD for most people who have them. In my case it was a (probably innapropriate) joke.

I was certainly damaged by my mission, but it was nowhere near the level of PTSD, and I didn't mean to minimize the experience of those for whom it was.

For that matter, I don't want to minimize the experiences of any PTSD sufferers regardless of the cause for them. It is a nasty challenge to get past PTSD, and many don't succeed.

I have those dreams every once in a while, despite being home fore over 12 years.

Usually I'm back in the MTC having to learn Spanish or something, and I can't understand why they wouldn't just send me back to Japan where I can already communicate.

What's interesting is that I have the thought of, "I've already done this before. Why am I here? And do I have to give up ANOTHER two years of my life?" but I never become conscious enough to tell the MTC people to GFT and leave.

For me, at least, the dreams replace the usual "high school" dreams that a lot of people have.

I still had (have) the "show up without pants" and the "final exam for the class that you forgot that you signed up for" dreams.

LOL!

I spent far, far more time in college than I did on my mission, so, naturally, I have the 'don't know where to go for my math final because I never went to class" dream far more often than the return to mission dream.

When I do dream about my mission, there's always some Japanese being spoken. I haven't used the language in 35 years, so it's very, very bad Japanese.

I got very sick on my mission, and initially my mission president thought it wise to send me home, but after conferring with SLC, he decided that having a missionary leave the mission very sick reflected badly on him and he refused to let me go home and get medical treatment. I eventually talked to my doctor in the US by phone, who was a friend of several GAs and I was on the plane the next day. My previous mission president was very severe and treated us like s__t, my mission was a long and very unpleasant experience.

Last year I met some former members in a facebook group, and started chatting online with some of them in my mission language. After doing that for quite some time one saturday evening, I had a very vivid dream of being back on my mission, and not allowed to leave a bunk room in the mission home, I had forgot all about that, the dream was so real, I felt awful when I woke up my heart was racing and I was sweating. I assume thinking in the mission language triggered some long stowed away memories. I had knives pulled on me, slugged, and had rocks and bottles thrown at me, but nothing was worse than dealing with the Mission Presidents ... nasty little dictators.

...where in SoCal?

I live in Simi Valley, work in Newbury Park, and spend most of my wekend time in Camarillo.

You were in the MTC about the same time I was. Any chance you went to a French speaking mission? I had a MTC pal who was from Simi Valley. I was preparing to go to Switzerland.

I was in the MTC for three weeks starting July 18, 1985. We rarely met the French-speaking missionaries in our mission, as it was run almost as though it was two separate missions. Only the office staff and the St. Maarten missionaries mixed French and English-speaking missionaries.

Also, Simi Valley is post-mission. I was raised in Reseda and went out from there.

I was there Sept-Nov 1986. Except for my MTC pal, it was a rotten three months. We mixed with Cajun speaking missionaries and Canadian French speakers as well. My friend went to Belgium/France and I went to France/Swiss. I had my fingers crossed my pal is ex-Mormon but guess I'll never know.

Cali Sally Wrote:
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> I had my fingers crossed my
> pal is ex-Mormon but guess I'll never know.

At least we both know that the odds are on your side!

35 years after the mission I still have that dream...quite frequently...and it sucks.

My last mission dream was great. It was so much fun, I woke up laughing.

I had this dream that I had gone on a second mission. I had convinced the church to send me back to Southern Germany. I had also convinced them to have the missionaries stay at my house and take care of it, while I was away.

Because I already knew the language, I was senior comp. (I was actually made senior comp at 4 months in my real one for the same reason.)

I was explaining to my companion that the bottle of wine I had was actually a special type of juice that I used for my arthritis, and that the coffee was really a type of German postum! It was great. I had her completely hoodwinked. I would take her to the gardens and museums etc and tell her we were "off-handing". It was GREAT!!! It was such a fun dream!!!

I've been back for 6 years and I still have a back-on-a-mission dream once or twice a month. My last one was last week. They used to be nightmares, but now that I'm exmo I don't take the mission seriously in my dreams anymore and they're actually kinda fun. :)

I have this dream myself from time to time. In virtually every case, I'm trying to go out of my way not to have to proselytize and just skate by. In my last dream I was plotting ways to purchase alcohol and keep it from my companion.

to purchase alchohol and SHARE it with your comp.