Posted by:
Anon for this
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Date: November 16, 2013 04:06AM
I am tired of everywhere I go and everything I do triggering insecurity in people. I am sorry about venting like this, but I feel like this relates. Also, I am anon because I don't want this to seem like I am trying to draw attention to myself or puff myself up in anyway, I just want to be able to express myself a bit more openly than I would if I had to attach some identity to it.
Starting with the on-topic stuff. Just by being an exmormon, every mormon automatically feels threatened and insecure by your very presence. I don't like this, I just want to be me, without people having to create a huge fuss about it and feel like they have to attack me to mask their insecurity.
Also, I am tired of being pegged as the "genius" and having people freak out because of it. I am extremely accomplished for someone my age, I have always been well ahead of the curve, I have seen more places than many do in an entire lifetime, etc. While that has been great when working with professionals and people who have a reasonable degree of self-esteem, I find that it sticks in the craw of most people who have any degree of insecurity. I was constantly bullied through grade school (singled out because I was usually top of the class). All throughout college, a lot of people just wanted to argue with me (no matter how hard I tried to avoid arguing) or assert their superiority in some fashion (thankfully I had plenty of friends who didn't care, and were just able to be real people), like some of these people would track me down to do so (I even dated a few girls that felt the need to try and demonstrate how they were "superior" in some fashion or another). I never try and show off, flaunt, or compare to others in any way, shape, or form. I find that it gets worse now that I have finished a couple degrees and am in the middle of a fantastic career, I have people I used to get along great with (as a teen) that are just now starting to cause problems out of the blue...
I don't know, maybe I am just an insufferable/arrogant ass and I just don't realize it, but I have a hard time seeing that as the case considering the fact that I do have plenty of friends, and they aren't the kind to tolerate an arrogant ass in their life. Then again, maybe they just tolerate me and come to some random message board and bitch about me anonymously ;)