So, my sister’s boyfriend of 5 years now is openly atheist, and I am using the term “openly” softly. He’s down right outspoken, rub-it-in-your-face atheist. You all know what I mean. The kind that make ALL atheists look like pompous assholes. I am agnostic myself, but I hate the way he makes atheist look! His arrogance is abundant on facebook and it bothers my super TBM sister to the bone!

I didn’t have a problem with him before until about two months ago when he lost his job and now uses being an arrogant atheist prick on facebook as his job. Up until that point, him and my sister were getting into a lot of heated arguments. I had to calm my sister down because she was getting overly-emotional about it. It worked, but since then its like he is retaliating with childish posts as if to say “Neener neener neener! I won!” It upsets me because it shows he has a great lack of understanding. He has never been religious, he’s never been BRAINWASHED like I have.

I really don’t care that he is open about it, in fact I applauded it before he turned arrogant about it. This is not only hurting my family who are TBMs, most of them are sweet ones, mind you… but it’s also harming the reputation for all atheists out there. This does absolutely nothing for religious people. In fact, I know when I was religious and saw an atheist like this I would hold TIGHTER to my faith because I felt he/she was being an open threat! It’s really not helping anybody actually. I am trying to lovingly, and quietly draw my family away from the church but his energy is not helping, it’s repelling the idea of detaching from the church.

Ive had heated arguments with him before and he gets extremely personal and emotional like revealing that he cuts and he is suicidal in public when we were just having a conversation about tattoos. DAMN! Calm down! Right?? I can tell that he is extremely bothered by closed-minded people, and so am I! I plan on dedicating my LIFE to opening minds! I get it.. but he just goes about it the wrong way. Sigh. Sorry, just had to vent. What do you think guys? Should I say something to him even though the conversation may get ridiculous?

I should mention that my sister that is dating him is not the same as my TBM sister. Not sure if that matters, just wanted to clear that up in case anyone got confused.

Sounds like he has very little self- esteem and is using this to try and be 'special.'

Just ignore him.
He wants confrontation because it energizes him.

Exactly.

How does one person, exercising their right to be an asshole, ruin anything for anyone else? My atheism doesn't rest on the misbehavior of one person.

Well because not very many atheists are open about their beliefs in the state of Utah, I am afraid of how religous people will look at other atheists based on the association they have with him. I am trying to set an appealing example here being non religous that it's not all that bad, but he sets the example that we're all assholes that look down on you. The way I see it is religous people will find anyway they can to stick to their beleifs (I know I did.) So if they knew a guy that was atheist they may think "Well I dont want to be an asshole who looks down on people, so I shouldnt be atheist!" I dont know... I do get your point though. Maybe I am asking too much? It's like Im saying that he should behave a certain way to set a good example.. which sounds religous in itsself. Hmmm...

rander70 Wrote:
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> Well because not very many atheists are open about
> their beliefs in the state of Utah,

And why is that? Could it be that atheists are constantly ridiculed, condemned and discriminated against by the religious majority?

Fighting back is not always pretty. There is good reason why he is angry.

Sounds like he needs his Facebook wall privileges revoked.

I get wall posts all the time rubbing Christianity in my face, telling me that I need to be saved, praising the 12 asspostles. I wish this ruined it for the rest of the theists, sadly however; it seems that this is not the case. oh, and don't get me started on missionaries!

If you don't like what somebody says, don't listen to them. Easy enough to block it on Facebook. Also, it doesn't sound like atheism is his problem...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2013 08:07PM by gentleben.

"The kind that make ALL atheists look like pompous assholes."

Wait. You got it all wrong. He makes all facebook users look like assholes. As an aside, I'm not on Facebook, you?

It sounds to me like the real problem is immaturity, not anything to do with atheism.

Maybe things like what happened to the OP of this thread has happened too many times to the person you refer to.

http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,1086010

People will react as people will react. I have no control over how others react to what I say or do. If I'm itching for a fight (something that happens less and less frequently), I have a pretty good idea that a rant is coming my way. If I'm being an asshole about something, I'm not representing anyone other than my assholish self.

I think it's pretty common for religious people to look down on, pity, try to convert, and worry about the salvation of people who don't believe in god(s). Meh. Depending on how they behave, I usually just put them on ignore and go about my life.

A woman at work told me that she knows that I "know the true meaning of Christmas." I have no idea why she'd assume something like that. Weird.

I don't celebrate Thanksgiving. People at work are about to find out that I don't when I don't participate in the potluck. Some are going to be be-fucking-wildered. I haven't decided if I'm going to tell them why I don't or just let them wonder. It's amazing how much people assume.

When my son was in second grade, they made Father's Day cards. I wonder if the teacher considered that some of the children might not have a living father. My son's father is alive, but my son has no memory of him living with us. Rather than say that he did not know where his father is, my son made the card.

I wish folks would consider that each of our lives is different.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2013 10:51PM by Beth.

Ok, I'm not going to assume and I am be-fucking-wildered. Why wouldn't you celebrate Thanksgiving?

for the same exact reasons in your rant about Atheists.
And you sound like one of those theists.

I'm not "ranting about atheist" I'm ranting about this guy who happens to be an atheist.

I'm very leery of mainstream Protestant religions and evangelical churches due to the " spawn of Satan " treatment I've seen them dish out to myself ( when I was TBM) or others around me.

I tried attending a Baptist church for a while after I realsed Mormonism was a fraud. I really wanted to talk to one of the ministers, who had both psychology and religious training, to see if they knew anything about cult recovery, but I never did because past experiences leads to distrust.

I think what helps any cause the most is kindness and respect. Treating others with contempt will not encourage them to listen to what you are saying or want to embrace your views.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/19/2013 03:06PM by chainsofmind.

He's not ruining anyone's reputation. He's just bringing balance to the force.

You've got to have some outspoken jerk-face atheists to counter all the westboro baptists and fundies out there...

To me, anyone who is extreme is hard to handle.

I see no difference in an "in your face christian/mormon" who is shoving thier beliefs down your throat from an "in your face atheist" who is shoving thier beliefs down your throat.

Agree totally

First, if he is cutting, has suicidal thoughts, is inappropriate in social situations, explosively argumentative at minor things, and is lacking normal personal boundaries suggests that he may have a personality disorder (I stress "may" it's obviously hard to say from a few paragraphs on an anonymous board on the internet). With that disclaimer, those behaviours are hallmarks of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People with BPD are often written off as "pompous assholes".

Of course it could just be that he's angry about losing his job and he's acting out because of it... But it is something to keep in mind or even look into or have your sister look into it as he may need help.

Either way, his behavior and his attitude have nothing to do with how anyone else feels about atheism. And, just because someone is a pompous assholes doesn't mean that what they are saying isn't valid. Others have pointed out that when a theist does the exact same things they tend to get a free pass in society and that perhaps atheists have a little justification for being angry at how they are being treated and sometimes need to be outspoken to be heard above the roar of the theist society we live in.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/19/2013 01:14PM by Finally Free!.

I guess in USA that theistic society stuff is true. I live in a country that could be more accurately described as atheist with Christian traditions - Australia.

I don't think there is any need for abusive dominating rants to be countered in kind - by either side. It just turns neutral or undecided parties off. Two wrongs do not make a right.