I was raised TBM and have been sexually active since I was 19. I've had 10 partners and I'm married now. I've never been able to have a full orgasm b4 this last week (I'm 35). Partly because I could never let my mind go to pleasureae sexual places due to growing up in TSCC.
I'm glad I've finally been able to realize sex can be enjoyed and extremely pleasureable.
Does growing up Mormon do this to everyone?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/26/2013 05:30PM by Susan I/S.

Not everyone, but from what I gather, it isn't uncommon. I know someone personally that had this problem

ETA oh, and congrats ;)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/26/2013 02:00AM by notnewatthisanymore.

hey congrats sometimes the safety valve opens up and this is what happens

Congrats!!!

I couldn't imagine not having had this release my entire life. I learned early on about the pleasures, who said the Holy Ghost was the comforter, ha!

I know that an older female TBM member of my family asked her adult ex-Mormon daughter, "What does an orgasm feel like?"

She had never experienced it.

OK, I'll bite: is a 'Whole body' O different from an 'ordinary' one?


is this a Black/White difference?

Guynoirprivateeye-a full body orgasm is much different!
I'm white.

Dissonance resolved--good luck! I so hope things work out for the both of you

There's different types?

There's different types of arousal, aren't there?

Don't think this was a reference to race, but the level of distinction between "real" and "not real" orgasms :)

Anyway, what helped? How did you overcome the sexual repression in TSCC? Would love some insight into this...

Thanks.

Yay! Congratulations!

Well, converting certainly messed with my sexuality for 20+ years, too. DH and I left TSCC in Jan 2013 and are working on this problem. I'm still trying to wrap my brain and body around the idea that other women *want* sex. I liken it to only having tasted cocoa powder and then having people tell me chocolate is a great thing and they eat it often. I'm learning what the ingredients are to sexuality and sensuality and mixing them into my marriage. Takes time, to be sure. And a willing, loving partner.

Congratulations!

Once you figure out how, it gets easier and easier. I've got it down to a single commercial break. ;>)

On a more serious note, what advice would you give to other women who remain in pursuit of the Big O, as well as to men who have complained on here that their wives don't get off? What steps did you take? If I was your best girlfriend and I had that problem, what would you tell me?

I'm not sure your ques is directed at me, but I'll add my $0.02. The first step (and still ongoing) is to realize, admit and actively counter the idea that masturbation, and by extension, somehow sex, is "wrong." Along the same lines realize, admit and actively seek out books/websites/shops/people to get ideas on what to do. Hence using my moniker here instead of "anon" is an important step for me in addressing my issues. The change in thinking takes time, effort and courage--to do new, uncomfortable things and say new, uncomfortable words. I lurked and read quite a bit on RfM that helped me. As someone recently pointed out to tombs1, people discuss sexual issues here that I never hear discussed in my life or have to courage to ask in person.

Yep, the most important sex organ is the brain. Right next to it is a partner willing to hang in there and lend a helping hand--in all senses of the phrase :)

I'm certainly not a connoisseur (yet!?), but I find this quite entertaining, esp when read aloud by DH:

http://www.amazon.com/Best-Womens-Erotica-2013-Violet-ebook/dp/B008DYJV4Q/ref=sr_1_13?ie=UTF8&qid=1385502141&sr=8-13&keywords=best+erotica+2013

Isn't it harder for a woman to orgasm, regardless of the church's teachings?

There's a ton of variety in the same gender. Some people (both men and women) will come as soon as you touch them, some take a lot of work. This is one reason why, imo masturbation is important before sex (not each time, just first time), you need to figure out how your body responds before you can communicate it to your significant other.

Plus, a normal person has a variance from day to day. Some days they are more sensitive than others.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/26/2013 03:36PM by notnewatthisanymore.

I agree with jujubee. Difficulty having an orgasm isn't confined to LDS women.

Of course it depends on the woman. But many women cannot orgasm through vaginal sex. Trying to put it as PG-rated as possible ... but there's a little female "button" that one can attend to, either orally or manually.

I once had a friend married over 20 years and she never had an orgasm in her life. She was a non-Mormon. I suggested that she use a personal vibrator and she was aghast!

But this conversation occurred years ago before such things were ever mentioned. Today the use of vibrators is quite common.

Girls, get comfy with your own bodies! If you've never had an orgasm buy a discreet little "bullet" and get to know what an orgasm feels like. The biggest tension release there is and its healthy for your mind and body!

Hubbies can incorporate this into foreplay, of course.

In some ways it's even easier for a woman.

It's not the orgasm that I wrestled(no pun intended.)with. It was the church induced guilt afterwards.

Hey! I am 26, and still nothing. You give me hope! I know mine is a mental issue, I blame the church for a lot of those I deal with. Maybe 9 more years...

The only purpose of the clitoris is for pleasure.
It has to be "found".
Tongue, hand, toe, nose, shaft, whatever.
Kissing is oral sex if someone wants to be pedantic.
A trusting partner.
Acceptance that 99.999% of guys like it (as in, REALLY like it)
Acceptance that the man is NOT looking at or caring about women's wobbly bits.
Enjoy
Life, love, can be truly wonderful