According to the people who study sex, most of us are bi to some degree or another.
Google "Kinsey scale." The revised scale goes from "0" (exclusively heterosexual) to "6" (exclusively homosexual), with most people being somewhere between "0" and "6"--meaning that they are bi to some greater or lesser degree. (There is also an "X" rating for those who are asexual.)
There are some different factors involved: which gender does a given person have actual sex with...which gender does that person fantasize about (and how frequently)...which gender does a given person prefer...how will a person react to being in a situation (like prison, or a single-sex boarding school, or a convent or monestary) where sex is only available from their NON-preferred gender, etc.
MOST people are not at either extreme of the scale, which means that most people are, or can be, bi at least some of the time or under certain circumstances.
If you're wondering if you're bi, my own personal opinion is that you probably are.
Begin with the Kinsey scale, and then go on from there.
My husband is very masculine. Career Army, commands several. I am such a strong woman that we often clash in our (somewhat new) relationship.
But..,when we talk 'good dirty' in the bedroom (and make no mistake he is incredible in that area...) He wants to hear talk about me watching him with another man. At one time (I am extremely liberal), I asked him if he really wanted to pursue these fantasies (BJs, JO, all with other men -- as I watched). He said "No" but that it sounded "hot" just to hear it.
We do NOT have the full dictionary on sexuality. I believe we each have to figure it out for ourselves and I wish you luck!
Hi Bi. I'm tall, intellectually oriented, and very independent minded -- all of which combined make it almost near impossible to find guys who are interested in dating me. I have had relationships with other women but that can even be more difficult as there is a smaller sample from which to choose.
Your strong personality has nothing to do with your sexuality. I know several other very tall women, female athletes and female bodybuilders who would like to have a relationship with a man but can't find one and would never consider a female-female relationship. You would know it if you did. Genitalia is important for some people in relationships and for some people it isn't. Some people want same sex relationships only and others want the opposite sex.
My thoughts about Kinsley scale like things. What level of attraction do you have for women? Put the various kinds of physical and emotional connections on a scale and rate where your comfort level ceases. Do the same for men. Looking at this can make it clear how gay, straight, or bi you are. I think we get all funny about seeing gay and straight as binary, all or nothing. The Kinsley related info helps make it clear that it your interest in men and women are on scales that might not be related to each other. The more relevant questions probably are "would you casually date the same gender? The opposite gender? Would you kiss or have sex with the same gender? Opposite gender? Would you have a serious or long term relationship with someone of the same gender or the opposite gender?"
I mean, really that is what gay, straight, and bi try and distill down to a single word. Really, these are more the things you need to think about for the dating scene. If you are attracted to some especially attractive members of the same sex, but you wouldn't ever go anywhere or do anything with them, then you aren't really gay or bi.
I had a dream recently where a dude, who looked a lot like me, asked me to give him a BJ. I was alone with him and there was no way in my dream anyone would find out. He pulled it out and I flatly refused. I absolutely wouldn't suck a D in a dream. I consider that the final test in my straightness.
The only thing I now wonder is why I would dream of not suckin a D....?????
What is the difference between getting a BJ from a male or a female or a Shop Vac except in the mind of the beholder? Male sexuality is a fascinating enigma...
I'm not sure it is so important to lable yourself as bi or not. Just be you at the moment. Live moment by moment and don't worry about labels. Labels are for canned goods.
this has already been said, but yeah- how do you not know? I've always liked guys, just guys. Girls have never done it for me. It does not matter how attractive a woman is, the thought of kissing or going further than that makes me want to vomit. Unlike the Typical Guy though - I don't have the need to make sure everyone KNOWS I'm straight! I'm sensitive to the gay topic b/c I have gay and lesbian family members. However If a woman gently tries to touch my arm or something like I tend to take a small , but noticeble sidestep to avoid being touched sometimes. I don't know why women would think that's weird that I don't want my arm touched sometimes, like there's some special reason- as if I was raped or something. That's not the case. it's weird to hear community stories....
When I think of guys it's always within the context of men+sex=baby -> family. I know it sounds weird but the only time I've ever felt sexual attraction towards men (and it's only happened twice -- with guys who were intelligent, 6'6" and 6'8", one of whom was Mormon -- I'm not) it's because I wanted to be impregnated by someone who would have qualities that would help ensure that I would have intelligent, successful offspring. Intimate relations with a man in my mind lies along a path towards marriage, home and family.
With women it's different. The things you mentioned -- the brief touches, hidden glances, wondering "is she or isn't she," etc. makes my heart race and gets my motor running. Hot passionate female-female romance with girls just leads to more hot passionate romance. Meeting women is a bit more difficult than meeting men though. Men want to feel dominant and superior -- women are just very picky.
Although I've never physically desired someone, emotions can be quite powerful. I've been emotionally in love before, but always with men. I just love to be around them, to talk to them.
Do you remember being a kid in school and having a crush on someone and not being able to stop staring at them, but not being ready for physical contact yet because you were too young?
That's kind of what it's like for me. It's like my sexual self never grew any farther than that, although I'm now old enough to know that you can't sit and stare at people. LOL
It's sort of weird. In some ways, I feel like I'm still a child. In other ways, life's experiences makes me feel about 90. Physically I feel my age, or a little older than I am, because I'm so out-of-shape.