My mother was obsessed with this scripture "be ye therefore perfect" as well as "do it right the first time," which put a lot of pressure on the girls in the family when it came to everything from housework to church work. It also carried over to my life when I became ex-mo. (Mom would reinforce these saying with physical punishments).
I had read many places that perfectionism didn't allow the student to learn-- since a student (or apprentice) isn't perfect the first time when she reads, writes, or in my case learns electronics. It has taken me years and years to realize subconsciously that failing is only the first step to succeeding.
So I am saying that the perfectionism taught in the TSCC is damaging to adults and children.
Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 12/09/2013 02:18PM by cynthus.
It's because, bless them, they think "perfect" always meant what it does now.
In 1605 (?)(or when the King James Bible saw the light of day), the meaning was more like entire or whole.
cf Macbeth Act 3 scene 4
MACBETH Then comes my fit again: I had else been perfect, Whole as the marble, founded as the rock, As broad and general as the casing air: But now I am cabin'd, cribb'd, confined, bound in To saucy doubts and fears. But Banquo's safe?
That whole concept would take a different meaning wouldn't it if the scripture or teaching or saying or whatever the hell it is said,
BECOME ye perfect, even as your Heavenly Father is perfect.
The original words brought grief to my world as it did to yours cynthus. I heard the words at church, not at home, and, in my own psychoanalysis (ha,ha), I took them to heart as I had a home life that I did not want to emulate. I attended the morg with my friends, mainly to the fun activities, but I did pick up this thought and internalized it.
So perfection I sought in lots of ways in my life---schoolwork, proper dress, no swear words, etc.
I did not get that the perfection I sought was certainly not a goal youth should be attempting to achieve. Tons of unneeded stress is the unwanted and unneeded gift of such a goal.
As a Catholic, I suffered from the same problem. If I wasn't perfect, I was a failure. It took me a long time to realize that this wasn't a healthy way to approach life. No one is perfect. No one can be.
One thing that was helpful to me was reading Taoist philosophy. The attitude among the Taoists is that you can find perfection in imperfection. It is a very nature-oriented school of thought, and nature isn't perfect. The Taoists valued imperfection, to the point where they would deliberately introduce a mistake into their works of art.
I also had art teachers who were not obsessed with perfection. I remember once working on a watercolor. I mistakenly put down too much water while painting in the sky, and all of the colors blurred together. My teacher, who was passing by at the time, heard my exclamation of dismay. He said, "No, stop there," excitedly picked up my painting, and ran away with it. He entered it in an art competition and it won a prize! lol