Posted by:
exldsdudeinslc
(
)
Date: December 23, 2013 12:02AM
I am 31 and left tscc a month ago, and i keep having the thoughts of "i really wish I'd done this a decade or more ago" and not been such a scared, fearful growing adult. I wish I'd developed much more meaningful relationships. I wish I'd been much more willing to display my true self to people instead of my cult-built fasad.
Plus, sexual repression took me over as it does anyone in the church. Not that i wish I'd screwed tons of girls just for the fun of it, but man do i have deep regret for not being able to develop sexually. Now i feel like a teenager in a 31 year old body. I admit I objectify women. I see attractive ones every time i go out and think nothing of what type of person they are, but how much I'd love to rip off her clothes and have full reign on her. I feel horrible about it. I fucking hate what tscc did to me.
I'm married to a tbm wife of nearly seven years and have two kids. I'm committed but honestly it's really rough right now. Part of me really wants to just leave, but I'm not sure if i have much more to explore or if it's just my penis talking.
We've started going to counseling, and i want to want to (not a typo) make it work. But man it's really tough right now.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/23/2013 12:02AM by exldsdudeinslc.