Posted by:
Ralph
(
)
Date: December 24, 2013 03:12AM
I liked the introduction a lot.
I was reared in a very Mormon place and in a family that bought into the racist stories. But that didn't last long. In little league sports I interacted with a lot of black kids, and by the time I was in high school several of us had grown quite close. I'm still in touch with one of them, decades later, a man who had a military career and now lives across the country. I guess I believed the pre-existence story but it didn't seem relevant to my life or my friendships.
In college I had two black roommates; we remain in touch today. My best friend in grad school was Ghanaian. He ironically gave my daughter her first Barbie. My wife and I did not like the white, blond dolls and had decided not to have them in our house. But Kwaku gave her a white, blond doll and that was that. I still remember that day. My two-year-old girl climbed up on his lap and kissed him. He wept, saying "white children don't kiss black men."
At graduation, another friend from the deep south invited me and my visiting brother to a party. The other people were all young blacks from the States, the UK and Africa--except my friends' parents also attended. The couple were old, from sharecropper families, and the husband was a Baptist preacher. After a conversation, my friend's mom said, "You know, I feel so comfortable with everybody here, but you [residents of X state] just seem different." My friend got hugely embarrassed because I had come to the state for education and had only been there as long as he had. But he looked and me and saw I was having a hard time not laughing because my parents would have felt the same way if two black people attended one of their parties. That bond--coming from provincial places where people had very limited experiences--is one of the things that brought us together.
There were two elderly black women in my last ward. My wife asked one of them to sing at her baptism, and we hired the other's granddaughter as a babysitter. We also hired a young Nigerian from the local pre-school because every time we went to pick up my kids, one of them was always with her.
I've always been grateful for those early sporting experiences. They have given me a wider range of friendships than most white people enjoy, Mormon or not. Those friendships always enriched our lives. We did not welcome black people into our ward; they welcomed us. My kids, grown now, still hug and kiss my black friends when they visit, and they have close school friends from different races as well.
I am so sorry that racism, particularly Mormon racism, has hurt all sorts of non-whites. I am also sorry it has hurt whites by not letting them get to know and love as many of God's children as they should have.
Welcome, ExBlackSister, and thanks for sharing your story.