Watching the infamous Bednar tape reminded me a little bit of my first time through the temple. As you are all well aware, there were/are countless weird happenings throughout the ceremony, but when it came time for the ritualistic slitting of the throat and guts I started getting seriously freaked out, just wanted to run away. I looked around me and saw my Dad, relatives and friends who I had known through the years and tried to catch their eyes as if to say "what the fuck is going on here?! not cool!" I still remember my Dad averted his gaze from me at this uncomfortable time, and maybe one or two offered an awkward grin. I had no clue what the hell any of this meant, were they really threatening to kill me if I spoke of this? I felt like Bryson, I wanted to cry, suddenly I felt like all the people who I loved and respected had been lying to me my entire life, and my Dad couldn't muster the courage to warn his only son that some seriously weird shit was coming, but don't worry. Of course there was no talk of it on the way home, but something changed that day forever, I no longer trusted my father, he had placed his relationship with an organization that I was quickly believing to be hiding weird crap above his relationship with me. Maybe one day Bryson will watch this video and see his Dad refuse to help him when he was distressed, and have some of the same feelings I had.

I hope the authorities take Bryson away from his negligent moron parents soon.

What's the infamous Bednar tape? Did I miss something good?

Rj, here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ku4n3-j2PwU

In response to Devashoe on the original thread: I don't think this tape is proof that Mormonism is the worst religion on the planet, as you stated. Rather, I think Bednar's behavior with this boy is typical of indoctrinating adults who are either oblivious to the confining, weird feelings such behaviors evoke, or they are consciously using those behaviors in a not-so-subtle way. What I said about the strange emotional effects of the temple ceremony, and by Bednar's actions, are echoed once again in this thread by Ladell.

There is a "piling on" habit on this board, and maybe some of the responders to the Bednar video fit the category. But there is also a genuine, valid complaint here. This wasn't ring around the rosie, it was a stranger taking advantage of his power position, the context, and the innocence of that boy, and invading his space without permission.

I'm a therapist, and I've treated dozens of abuse survivors. Just because there are intrusive behaviors depicted in this video that can be defined as abusive does not autimatically imply that Bednar is a molester, or that this boy is destined for more abuse. That is not the point or the intended inference. It is more of a desensitizing thing. Like EMDR, or flooding, or systematic desensitization, or any of the other techniques that are used to diminish anxiety reactions, you can expect this boy, or at least some kids, to be less reactive to an intrusion the next time it happens. Molesters pick up on cues from kids who have been desensitized, and mark them for grooming and later for victimization. This video is an example of that kind of experience, intended by Bednar or not, and he is either unaware of the potential effects of his actions, or he is intentionally using his actions to increase the likelihood that this boy will be submissive, obediant to his priesthood leaders, etc.

thank you for your points.

The penalties were a great way to keep you in Mormonism.

There you are in the temple for the first time and you are
instructed to pantomime slitting your throat. You have two
choices: (1) to go along with the group in this one "small"
thing, or (2) to disrupt the entire proceeding, become a "hiss
and a byword" among your family, friends and neighbors, and
bring any "advancement" in the Church to a standstill.

This was what is called the "salami technique." Like slicing
small bits off a long salami, each step is hardly noticed.
Each step brings you further in. At each step your choices are
either to go one step further or turn around and give it all up.

Once you've sliced most of the salami, you are IN. It's
difficult to admit that you have gone so far in "of your own
free will" to something totally bogus and ugly. Cognitive
dissonance theory says that in such situations is it easier to
conform your belief to your actions, than you actions to your
belief. By having DONE so much you have to make yourself
believe it was right in order to feel decent about yourself.

So, Baura, Bednar's actions are insidious because along with this experience, this boy has a bunch of other inculcating experiences...

1. True order of prayer silliness.
2. Wearing a boy scout uniform and pretending to be paramilitary.
3. Using oil and laying his hands on someone's head to command them to heal, or whatever.
4. Crying in F&T meeting as he chants, "I know that JS was..."
5. Hearing sober old men tell him his physical nature is essentially evil and must be subdued, denied and changed, then going home and hating himself for the pleasure his body gives him.
6. Learn and perform secret handshakes to get into heaven.
7. Continually shut off the corrective, critical-thinking voices in his head (like the ones he heard when Bednar was grabbing him) in order to feel the mindless numbing sensations of the anti-confrontational ideal: the presence of the holy ghost.

#7!!!! Exactly!

I know most of these comments are about how Bednar treated Bryce badly and I totally agree but I just can't get over how "over-the-top" the object lesson was no matter how the boy reacted.

Forgetting to read the BofM is about as evil as forgetting to wear a white shirt to church. It took me YEARS after I converted to Mormonism to ever actually read the dang Book of Mormon. It was just so uninteresting. I finally forced myself to read it but never read it again and certainly never read it on a daily basis.

When I finally saw the church for the farce it was I became aware because I started studying things. When I didn't study I was just sort of fat, dumb and happy.

I think the better advice would have been to tell the kid not to study too much if he wanted to groom him to be a happy and content Mormon. The more you read the BofM the more it drives you out of your mind. I have high hopes Bryce will grow-up to leave LDS, Inc. because he reads his scriptures not because he doesn't. On top of it all he'll probably have anxiety attacks and flashbacks from his big day with Bednar.