Posted by:
Nightingale
(
)
Date: January 23, 2014 03:29PM
saviorself said:
>Anyone who is familiar with the Recovery From Mormonism Bulletin Board (this forum) understands that gays have a strong presence here. The gay posters have established a mindset that says theirs is the ONLY acceptable viewpoint and that anyone with a differing viewpoint should be insulted and silenced. The insults are often blantant personal attacks, which are against BB rules.
I'm sorry this is your perception of RfM.
The "strong presence" that gay posters (may) have here comes from a handful of regular posters (who may actually be gay - or not) who have an interest in topics about homosexuality and the social issues with which it intersects, such as religious beliefs, legal cases and human rights.
One of the main reasons these topics are discussed on this forum is that the Mormon Church, the subject religion here, denounces homosexuality and treats its gay members with enough misguided homophobic pronouncements and deeds (including withholding of "privileges", such as a TR, and horrific "cures", such as electroshock therapy at church-affiliated institutions - like Evergreen) that gay ex-Mormons have a few things to process once they get out. It helps to discuss the various issues and to meet up, if only in cyberspace, with others who understand what they are going through. It is the type of mistreatment, by church and family, that in many cases necessitates this "processing" for the rest of people's lives. If RfM posters, gay and straight, can help in the process, that's all to the good.
However, many more topics than these are featured here and it's easy to skip the threads you're not interested in. Leave the space, though, for others to engage in such discussions if they so desire or need.
Nor is there only one "mindset" here, that I see. The focus of this forum, frequently articulated by Eric, Board Founder, is to respond to "questioning Mormons" and those who have newly exited the church. This is one of the main causes of other exmo boards being established, to offer space to those who are no longer newbie exiters or newbie posters and those who have an interest in other subjects at some point in their new lives. That leaves this board to continue its aim of focusing on the questioning Mormon and new exmos.
If this group includes LGBTQ people, so be it.
I see issues affecting them as being of general interest, not a subsection of RfM or any special group. To me, the issues are about society, of which I am a part, and specifically touching religious and legal matters, which are of particular interest to me. So, I don't separate the topics or the threads or the posters even into gay and straight matters or people. I do note whether a poster is gay or straight, if they have shared that info, only in order to hopefully better understand their viewpoint. I find I read and get it better if I see a person's position and obviously in certain matters your opinion will arise from your orientation. One example would be if a TBM says the church is all good and a gay member says I beg to differ - from where I'm sitting it's not so great. It's easy to see why each one would have the viewpoint (perception) they do. It holds true for the posters here too. Obviously, each of us speaks from our own experiences but hopefully we can see where someone else is coming from.
As for people with differing opinions being "insulted and silenced", you are correct. Hurling insults is against board rules. If you or anyone feels a post is insulting to them in a way that is against board rules you can simply use the "report" button and let Admin know. You are strongly encouraged by them to do this. The offending post may disappear, if Admin agrees with your assessment.
However, "offence" is subjective. Sometimes Admin will consider that the post you object to is indeed a personal attack (not allowed). Other times, they will allow a post to stand. Offence is really in the eye of the beholder. One example for me is that, as a Christian, using "Jesus Christ" as a curse (swearing) makes me wince. I greatly dislike seeing it in a subject line. I never get used to it. To non-Christians, it doesn't even register. How are you going to moderate a board and keep all sides happy? That is the million dollar question. Fortunately, this particular bugbear of mine doesn't occur too frequently and I just have to suck it up and not let it diminish my enjoyment of the whole rest of the vast board.
"Blatant personal attacks" are definitely and consistently against board rules. Hopefully these are more obvious than someone finding a comment "offensive" which is so subjective (as above). Again, just use the report button and such posts will certainly be deleted, if they are indeed deemed to be personal attacks.
A huge opportunity we have as readers and posters at RfM is to hear from all sorts of people with a wide variety of experiences. This may mean mixing with those we've never encountered before. It may take some getting used to for some of us. But any new experience helps us grow as adults on new paths. As a convert, I met one Mormon who was gay, although he didn't tell me so in words (which is itself unfortunate - he didn't feel he could state it, which is telling in itself). What he did say was that he couldn't go to the temple. When I (cluelessly) asked why he said, "because I'm not worthy".
Nobody should have to feel that way about themselves. No church should teach that lesson to its gay members or its straight ones. I found his self-assessment to be profoundly sad. I was already a pre-mo Christian who was troubled by the Christian stance on homosexuality, mainstream and fundamentalist factions alike. I don't believe that anybody should ever be "left out" and this basic ingrained urge to do the right thing, the just thing, and include everyone (and especially to render justice to all) has left me out in the cold myself on many occasions. Try being a straight person in a homophobic church who doesn't identify with the homophobes!
Yes. I KNOW the scriptures (apparently) denounce homosexuality and we can't go "against the scriptures", can we?
To me, though, it's a matter of understanding the translation/interpretation process. The words we read do not necessarily render the original meaning from the ancient languages. Committees of men, in all ages, wrangled over words and their interpretation in order to come up with the scriptures we have today.
I live in a bilingual country. Every day I see instances where French-speaking people are trying to put their experiences and ideas into English words (such as reporters in various French towns in Quebec speaking to English language news stations). Ditto for English-speakers in majority French-speaking areas. There is not a precise and exact translation for every word or idea. In fact, in various cultures, certain concepts literally do not translate.
How certain are we that translators of various Bible versions got it exactly right? It's not necessarily right because the translation itself says it's right!
So all this kerfluffle over homosexuality may truly be a big huge tempest in a tiny little teapot.
What a waste of time and energy! What a tragic waste of human treasure, especially if our (mis)translation leads to a person who is homosexual feeling that their life is not worth living. Because we say they are not worthy. Because we say we don't want to hear their voice. Because we say our holy book denounces them.
That is not a holy book I wish to follow (nor one I believe is relevant or true to the original intent).
Nor a god I wish to worship.
(NB: My general comments on the topic of homosexuality and religion, especially in the latter part of my post are not meant to convey the idea that these are the OP's opinions. I don't know what he believes other than what he has specifically stated above).
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/23/2014 03:36PM by Nightingale.