Posted by:
ThinkingOutLoud
(
)
Date: February 16, 2011 05:22AM
Incomplete suicides call 911 afterwards, all the time. Have any of you ever worked in a hospital, or manned a suicide hotline? Trust me, they do.
As to the person (Dieter?) who used the word "coward":
I am sure you did not mean to say that, in that way, with that result.
Cowards live their lives always in fear, without joy, and badly. They depress everyone else around them, blame others for their own failures, and are miserable and misery-making, until their very last breath. Cowards hurt others because they can, or because the act of eliciting pain in others, makes them feel less more of something, more powerful, more in control, more numb. Less cowardly.
Suicides often feel that THEY are to blame for the mistakes of others, indeed for all the failures of humankind. They want to fix it all, feel they have an obligation to do so, and when that inevitably turns out to not be even remotely possible, they leave this world under their own steam.
I have lost some very smart, loving, good people, friends I was proud to know, in this way. Let me tell you, it is not cowardly to choose to give up and let go, to say goodbye to people you love, who desperately love you with their whole heart. Sometimes, when everything is just too painful, or when you are sick in your mind or body, and the pain is physical and too, too real, it just isn't.
Calling it cowardly, is the hurt and pain of those left behind talking, I think.
To those who are trying, and survive it, a common theme that runs through their narrative is that they---in their confused, depressed and desperate thoughts---felt it was the bravest, and best thing, they've ever done. They think they are protecting people when they do it, and taking out of the equation of life the one thing which to them seems not able to "work"properly, who keeps everyone else from being able to be happy: them.
To a person who has lost someone, and now has to be brave about that loss and that pain, alone and scared in the world, without their absent friend, maybe never knowing why or how, or who was not able to reach out and help that desperate person who needed them? I can see how it would seem cowardly.
Letting go, on both sides, seems to be the end of everything. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn't. And there are a few out there who do this to hurt others, or "get back at them" or to run away from problems of their own making. But those are rare, despite what TV and movies tell us.
It is a selfish act. It leaves others alone, or without hope for a time, and that is both wrong and hurtful, and very, very sad. I say yes, to that.
But to call suicide a cowardly act? I don't agree with that, AT ALL.