Just updating you all, as promised. I got a random visit today from the secretary of the ward here in my area. He left his name and phone number (I was working so he gave the note to my husband).

I did return his call out of curiosity. He wanted to schedule a meeting between me and the ward bishopric. Why on earth would the entire bishopric need to meet with ME after two months of inactivity? What on earth could they possibly want?

I'm going out of curiosity. Curiosity alwayssss wins...lol. What could they want? Any ideas or thoughts?

I think they're going to grill you on apostasy.

I haven't been here to read your prior posts so I don't know the background. But, I would NOT meet with them alone. The bishopric and one woman. As a post-Mormon, no way would I submit myself to their power play. That's not how it's done in the real world.

^^^^ Very Important. ^^^^

Edit: Visiting is right.
Not done this way in the real world.

In the real world, reasonable people have the common courtesy of informing you of the meeting purpose before asking your time.

And this thread would not exist.

Take someone credible with you.
If they insist on meeting alone, walk.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/25/2014 11:41PM by zenjamin.

zenjamin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ^^^^ Very Important. ^^^^
>
> Edit: Visiting is right.
> Not done this way in the real world.
>
> In the real world, reasonable people have the
> common courtesy of informing you of the meeting
> purpose before asking your time.
>
> And this thread would not exist.
>
> Take someone credible with you.
> If they insist on meeting alone, walk.

They never do that..I've noticed that they often don't schedule meetings they just stop on by whenever..lol. But lately I've been working or avoiding them altogether.

visiting Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think they're going to grill you on apostasy.
>
> I haven't been here to read your prior posts so I
> don't know the background. But, I would NOT meet
> with them alone. The bishopric and one woman. As
> a post-Mormon, no way would I submit myself to
> their power play. That's not how it's done in the
> real world.

Yeah I am feeling a little confused. Like WHY would three men want to meet with ME? I don't feel intimidated by them, however.
And I figure they'd know if they grill a newly inactive convert about apostasy, she definitely may not become active again. I'm just so curious! It can't be about apostasy because I've made it clear that I don't care about that...lol.

Tithing settlement maybe?

subeamnotlogedin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tithing settlement maybe?

Nope. The bishop let me out of tithing because my husband is a non member and it caused marital issues.

My first thought was that they'll give you an "opportunity" of accepting a calling of some kind.

Sort of trying to head off your complete apostacy, maybe.

PapaKen Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My first thought was that they'll give you an
> "opportunity" of accepting a calling of some
> kind.
>
> Sort of trying to head off your complete apostacy,
> maybe.


Ya know...I thought that as well. But I don't think they regard me as a person of any specific talent or intelligence. The last calling they gave me was to conduct the choir in Relief Society. Boringggg. I'm sure they don't even think I can do very much for the Church. I'm thinking maybe they think I've sinned in some way or something? Or maybe they want dirt about my inactive neighbor who bums off the church and lies to everyone. Who knows....

...Getting to know you.........getting to know ALL about you!!!"

...they mainly just want to see if there is any "upside" in continuing their "love" for you. You know; callings, service, $$$, splits, etc........and, do they "need" to counsel (condemn) you on your BAD habits!!!

I have done these visits, a lot, this is how it goes:

We love you. We wanted to see how you are doing. Where are you in your testimony? (escalate accordingly) is there anything we can do for you and your FAMILY?

Wahtever the issue is, no one is perfect/knows everything/can critizize.

Gee whiz, all we know is that we sure love you/need you, people are in need in our ward and you, you alone, can reach/touch/help/guide.

Gosh, we love you guys, you are a pillar/rock/example/friend/leader in the ward.

Sister_____just mentioned to me how much she misses you food/lessons/face/friendship/smile/spirit/leadership.

I know that you were called/born/chosen/here/prepared for a very important reason. Look at your family, they will need blessings/guidance/leadership/lessons/inspiration from you! They are everything!

Well we gotta run!



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 01/25/2014 11:46PM by erictheex.

erictheex Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I have done these visits, a lot, this is how it
> goes:
>
> We love you. We wanted to see how you are doing.
> Where are you in your testimony? (escalate
> accordingly) is there anything we can do for you
> and your FAMILY?
>
> Wahtever the issue is, no one is perfect/knows
> everything/can critizize.
>
> Gee whiz, all we know is that we sure love
> you/need you, people are in need in our ward and
> you, you alone, can reach/touch/help/guide.
>
> Gosh, we love you guys, you are a
> pillar/rock/example/friend/leader in the ward.
>
> Sister_____just mentioned to me how much she
> misses you
> food/lessons/face/friendship/smile/spirit/leadersh
> ip.
>
> I know that you were
> called/born/chosen/here/prepared for a very
> important reason. Look at your family, they will
> need
> blessings/guidance/leadership/lessons/inspiration
> from you! They are everything!
>
> Well we gotta run!

Ohh I see. That thought came to my mind as well.
They know why I've inactive though. They know I dug into the History of The Church and hated what I found. I'm sure they're not bold enough to ask me what I found...if they are, they're in for a debate. I don't really respond to love bombing. I'd say, "Thanks for the concern, speaking of family mine need lunch, see ya later!"

then you are at the "confirm doubt". this is a status visit, to see if you are aproachable or not.

Did your hubby ask them to meet with you. Is he still active?

honestone Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Did your hubby ask them to meet with you. Is he
> still active?

No I sincerely doubt he would. He's not anti-LDS but he's not a member and truly doesn't care one way or the other.

They're ganging up on you. Why on Earth would you agree to this? There is no way that I would show up to such a meeting.

However if you are determined to go, then have a few stock responses that you can fall back on, i.e., "I don't care to discuss that at this time," and "Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine." And remember, just because someone asks a question, doesn't mean that it needs to be answered.

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> They're ganging up on you. Why on Earth would you
> agree to this? There is no way that I would show
> up to such a meeting.
>
> However if you are determined to go, then have a
> few stock responses that you can fall back on,
> i.e., "I don't care to discuss that at this time,"
> and "Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine."
> And remember, just because someone asks a
> question, doesn't mean that it needs to be
> answered.

1. Because I'm bold as heck. Someone wants to take me on, come at me. I'm not afraid of men from Church. The only thing I'm afraid of is spiders. I've stormed into the house of a friend whose husband was beating her and kicked his ass, then drove her to a women's home. I kick butt and take names. (Except with spiders). I want to send a message that I am unafraid of them; and

2. Good ole' curiosity. I don't tithe, my calling was trivial, I wasn't an incredibly active member, I don't have many friends, I'm new in the town. So what and why and how...all of that...why on earth are they wanting to meet me? I can't possibly fathom why and the curiosity will eat me up if I don't go...haha!

You are certainly right about not answering questions. I always tend to be immensely transparent. I need to practice those stock answers!

it's a trap

Dave the Atheist Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> it's a trap


For what though? I'm not of use to them as a non tithing, inactive convert with very little talents who is brand new in town.

If they try to give you a calling or ask why you don't come to church just tell them what they are already thinking. You want to sin. You have an uncontrollable urge to drink coffee, tea, beer and anything else that makes you ineligible for a calling. ; )

Good luck. Return and report.

Cali Sally Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> If they try to give you a calling or ask why you
> don't come to church just tell them what they are
> already thinking. You want to sin. You have an
> uncontrollable urge to drink coffee, tea, beer and
> anything else that makes you ineligible for a
> calling. ; )
>
> Good luck. Return and report.

I'd be lying. I don't drink, smoke or drink tea. I'm fairly boring, truly. If I did believe, I'd make a decent mormon. I just...don't anymore.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/26/2014 12:37AM by pamelaf3211.

They could be trying to give you a calling, to keep you coming and to keep you busy. Or they could just be nosey and want to see if they can figure out why you're not going to church.

Greyfort Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> They could be trying to give you a calling, to
> keep you coming and to keep you busy. Or they
> could just be nosey and want to see if they can
> figure out why you're not going to church.

Oh they know why. I told the Relief Society why.

The idea is to get you active. It starts with a meeting. "We just wanted to get to know you. Is there anything we can do for you?"

Greyfort Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The idea is to get you active. It starts with a
> meeting. "We just wanted to get to know you. Is
> there anything we can do for you?"

Oh they totally know me. I hate that question "Can we do anything for you" and the past two times the second counselor (who happens to be my home teacher) said that to me, I said, "Ya know, I'm an independent person. I'm a private person as well. I don't ask for help and I don't often need it. If I do need it, I'd let you know. We have plenty of money and support. I'm still close to God. My personal issues are that- personal."

They know my answer to that question is always, "I'm fine. Thank you for the concern. No I don't need help."

I'd be incredibly bored if that was their only reason to want to meet with me.

Good luck. Keep us posted.

Since everything suggested so far has been, duh wrong(as if they gave you any clues), then return and report.

Very interesting statements about apostasy and your neighbor, hmm...

pamelaf3211 said,


"They know why I've inactive though. They know I dug into the History of The Church and hated what I found."

And now you have been inactive for two months.

I would say that that is a pretty good indication as to why a bishopric would want to meet with you. And as far as my own personal experience goes with bishoprics, being bold is almost a prerequisite.

Almost the same thing happened to me on my way out. But in my case they came to my home. They kind of verbally probed around searching for clues as to where I was at regarding church issues and felt around to assess my overall attitude. ie-anger, hostility, if I was "offended" by what I found or if my personal presentation was that of someone that would "spread" my discoveries around.

I knew that they cared about me because they had known me since I was a child. But I also knew that their main purpose for the visit was to do damage control and to make sure That I had no intention to tell others what I had found.

I did not comply.

My bet...

It's going to start off as a love fest/bombing/we've prayed for you session. We've really missed you type of discussion.

Which might lead to a we've got a calling that God feels would be perfect for you. They want you to get active, they will try to get you to accept some calling that will require you to 'step up' your activity.

My two cents.

If it's confrontational about your inactivity then be prepared to be lectured too about not prayer and reading your scriptures enough...but I doubt that it will be this route.