did any of you other folks not get stalked or harassed when you left the church? Those of you who read my first thread on here will know that I recently found out the fraudulent nature of the church. However, I've been completely inactive for almost three years now and nobody really seems to notice. Yeah, my tbm gives me hell but I never hear anything from home teachers, bishopric, mishies or any other church people for that matter. Seems like a lot of you have almost had to pull a gun on people from the church to get them to leave you alone. It's been a very different experience for old funeral taters.

Well, I have not had any of the harrassing that some on this board have had, either. I think I probably owe that to my TBM husband. He knows I want no contact and he passes that information on to his ward and bishop. So far, they have all respected my boundaries.

Maybe you don't make enough money in that the loss of your tithing is no big deal to LDS, Inc. Maybe you don't live in the Morridor. In the outer lands there are some regular people. Maybe your ward and stake are all having doubts of their own and don't have the heart to track you down. Maybe someone lost your file. Or maybe you are just the luckiest saint out there.

When I first went inactive it just happened that I moved a lot and I don't think the wards I moved to knew I was there because I didn't announce my arrival. The old ward didn't know where I was for the same reason. If I hadn't gone home to my mother's ward for awhile I don't think anyone would have found me. When I moved again, the old ward called to ask where I had gone and that's when I resigned.

Cali Sally Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Maybe you don't make enough money in that the loss
> of your tithing is no big deal to LDS, Inc. Maybe
> you don't live in the Morridor. In the outer lands
> there are some regular people. Maybe your ward and
> stake are all having doubts of their own and don't
> have the heart to track you down. Maybe someone
> lost your file. Or maybe you are just the luckiest
> saint out there.
>
> When I first went inactive it just happened that I
> moved a lot and I don't think the wards I moved to
> knew I was there because I didn't announce my
> arrival. The old ward didn't know where I was for
> the same reason. If I hadn't gone home to my
> mother's ward for awhile I don't think anyone
> would have found me. When I moved again, the old
> ward called to ask where I had gone and that's
> when I resigned.

I do live in the morridor so living outside of the morridor isn't the reason. Not making enough money to pay a tithe that LD$ inc. deems me significant? Haha, you might be on to something there. You know the saying about getting blood from a turnip.

Each situation is different. It depends a lot on the ward, who runs it and how they run it.

Also, you may find that even years later that suddenly you get on someone's radar and the stalking comes out of no where. My wife and I were inactive with relatively little or no contact for several years when suddenly, out of the blue, the missionaries popped up at our door and asked for me by name, they came over several times. My wife found herself with a "visiting teacher" who accomplished her task via e-mail and each holiday for a bit our "home teachers" would leave a poorly wrapped paper plate of stale (by the time we ever saw them) cookies on our door with a note.

We decided to end it once and for all by resigning and even then, one year, almost to the day, of getting our final official "you're out" letter, the missionaries popped up again, also asking for us by name.

That's the difficult thing with the church, you never know when it's going to start and when it's going to end, sometimes resigning works, sometimes not. It all depends on too many factors that are out of our control.

Practically nobody has bothered me either - at least there has been no organized harassment. I think Bishop Jackwagon was thrown off balance so badly by my command of historical and doctrinal facts in my "interview" with him that he deemed me "dangerous" and made up some sort of lie to frighten members away from me. Our home teachers came by a few times, then he said something stupid not related to the church and we all laughed. After that, he was embarrassed to return. A few months later, they gave us new HT's, who came by once or twice then dropped us. Same with the VT's. One was a friend of mine and religiously visited until she and her husband got called on a mission. There hasn't been anyone since. Other than a few ridiculous drop offs by members of the RS, we haven't been the victims of any serious love bombing. The absolute worst was when they had a stake activity where they made cookies and delivered them to inactives. A bunch of teenage girls dropped by and made my daughter feel like a welfare case - especially since she didn't know half of them. We used the opportunity to discuss why Mormons are so awful.

So basically, some sporadic half-hearted attempts at VT, HT, and RS requirements and one truly bad YW activity in 4 years. I'd say we've been mostly left alone.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/03/2014 01:23PM by CA girl.

I haven't been harassed or bothered either. I think part of that is because my family has never been very active and wouldn't give up my name. I've been lucky in that regard.

this topic comes up from time to time and it may be more common than we think - I assume that generally someone that's frustrated at the stalking is more likely to start a thread about it than someone that is being ignored...

when I left it was crickets from everybody - not sure if they deemed me a threat (they knew that I knew my stuff) or if it was because it happened so fast or what (maybe the bishop was a closet doubter?)

my TBM ex may also have been a factor - I know that she was meeting with the bishop a lot through that time - maybe she told them to stay away because we had worked out a church-truce and she didn't want anyone messing it up - I don't know

anyway, I don't think tithing has much to do with it - I think it has more to do with the personalities of the ward leadership

I have been very lucky in this area. Maybe it has to do with the amount of money that I have paid in tithing....nothing.

When I stopped attending, it was a year before anyone had spoken to me and then it was to see if I would be on their softball team. It even longer when I was finally approached about my attendance.

They did harrass my oldest about attending seminary. Even had the teacher call up and tell me that apparently he had overlooked not registering for it and that there was still time to have him drop a class to he could attend seminary. I thanked her for her time and said that son will not be attending and for some reason, she just couldn't comprehend that. She continued talking as if he was her student.

Had the exec sec call up and tell me that I was to meet with BP in my home on this day. I said that is not a good time since I wouldn't be home. Due to illness, I was home that night and he showed up unannounced.

I really have not been approached by anyone in the ward for years. I am starting to wonder if the new BP sent in the paperwork as if I had resigned. Hope so.

Our last home teacher came to our house August 2010. Since then nothing.

I assume my TBM mom gave them my number. Other than that, I didn't receive much harassment since I resigned soon after I found this site in 2000. I stopped going to church while at BYU in the late 90s.

Ironically, the missionaries have bugged me here in NM more than when I was "inactive."

I don't know how it all works if you are excommunicated as opposed to resigning. I have not had any contact from the church in the 5 years after my exco. I am surprised that they haven't sent anyone after my oldest son, who has always been on the church records (you know, BIC and all). Perhaps my ex does not want anyone to know that he is living with me in my house of sin ;) My neighbor is the ward area bishop but he has been friends with my significant other for many years and they are just friendly neighbor visits - no talk of church. I am glad I do not have to beat them off with a stick or anything like that. It makes me cringe reading all the stories that involve TSCC and their love bombing. Once in awhile I do see the missionaries ride by our house....they just keep riding.

Edit: I meant my YOUNGEST son....my oldest lives a TBM life in CA



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/03/2014 04:24PM by kimnotnaomi.