I frequently encounter missionaries here on the fair streets of Mesa. I always try to be polite but non-engaging. Most encounters invariably end with them asking if they can 'do anything' for me. It's so routine that it's obviously something they've been taught to say.

I'm wondering what genius thought up this tactic and also whether it ever leads to increased success. They seem so sincere in asking and visibly disappointed when I decline their offer.

Maybe I should have them wash my windows or fix my computer.

What do you guys think?

'the Program' has Little To Do with conversions of non-members;
It's MOSTLY about cementing young (mostly male) minds to the Morg; with the mishie and/or parents Paying for the Priviledge!

What A Program!

Guy Noir, Private Eye Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> 'the Program' has Little To Do with conversions of
> non-members;
> It's MOSTLY about cementing young (mostly male)
> minds to the Morg; with the mishie and/or parents
> Paying for the Priviledge!
>
> What A Program!


Well, I would tend to agree seeing as how the new member stats are in decline. It is a coming-of-age ordeal that is a bit more harsh than your average bar-mitzvah. More like unto the African tribal ordeal of obliging each young man to face down a lion all alone. If one lives through the ordeal, he is good for life.

However, I have heard that the attrition rate of RMs is around 40% which sounds risky. Rather I think it's a matter of follow the money. TSCC collects all funds from each missonary's sponsor(s) and then doles out a meager pittance for the hapless mishes to get by on. Petty larceny is what keeps the 'Program' going nowdays, imho.

I think that question is a sign they don't have anybody to teach -- or not often -- these days.
I wonder when they will start cutting back on the number of missionaries they send out. It's already come down, but the whole program needs to change. It's not effective. They don't get any real results for the money and time spent.
At least, they don't have to "tract" anymore. That is totally ineffective.

I was doing small odd jobs in my garage when some sister missionaries came up to me from the street. After complimenting my eyes (which was weird enough, why were they looking at my eyes?) they asked the normal, share a message with me offer, and my declining they asked if there was anything they could do for me. I told them "not really." The asked are you sure, we could do the dishes, or sweep out the garage, whatever you need. I thought this was so completely strange! We did community service projects when I was on the mission but it was never odd jobs around the house of a stranger.

Sorry, just read below that you are male! That is strange . . .

Plus, would they even be allowed to be in a male's house without anyone else present? (Although they might have asked, I guess.) I know male missionaries aren't supposed to be alone with a female.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/10/2010 12:04AM by Ms..

Windows would be my job for them. Mine sure need attention right now. It is a sickening sweet offer they throw out there. Don't men think it odd to be asked this? I would guess women are more likely to at least give them an answer.

to get that question from 2 women offering to clean my kitchen!

...tracting is so depressing these days that most Mormon missionaries of either gender would happily do ANY service work rather than tract.

They are supposed to provide a service if you accept their offer.

By doing so, you feel obligated to at least let them teach you.
And then you are on their hook.

Sorry couldn't resist--reference to a thread 2 weeks ago!!

too funny.. went to an ESL conf. yesterday and the presenter told us that story about the windows and neighbors laundry.. I kept thinking.. I have heard that story before.. ok... it was here.. lol =)

As I was crossing at a busy intersection walking my dog last evening, a pair of them passed us by on their bikes and .... wouldn't you know .... asked the same question and then sped along their way.

Bizarre enough to me, but wtf do nevermos make of it?

I look at them and give thanks that I fell off the bicycle before I ever got on.

create a phony relationship with you?"

Mormons think everybody else is stupid. Most savvy people are wise to this ploy.

Like the cleaning-products salespeople who used to knock on our doors 20 years ago, asking to clean your shower for you, or vacuum salespeople wanting to clean your carpet. Sorry, mishies, this has already been done. It didn't succeed then, either.

It is basic human nature to dislike strangers who try to come into your house, for any reason, no matter how "friendly" they seem. Missionaries are cult-members, and they reek of it.

I ALWAYS found something for them to do. I've had them clean the yard, wash my cars, stack firewood, etc etc etc. ANYTHING. Even dust, move furniture (repeatedly; one of em started arguing with my on how my living room should look, it was great!), and yes, wash the windows.

Then I make em something to eat, let em surf the internet, and talk about NORMAL PEOPLE THINGS.

My dad calls it depressurization.

If they offer, I accept, but I make it NORMAL for them. How many people miserable on their mission would have loved to just hang out for a bit, even if it was with a stranger?

zzapp the witch Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I ALWAYS found something for them to do. I've had
> them clean the yard, wash my cars, stack firewood,
> etc etc etc. ANYTHING. Even dust, move furniture
> (repeatedly; one of em started arguing with my on
> how my living room should look, it was great!),
> and yes, wash the windows.
>
> Then I make em something to eat, let em surf the
> internet, and talk about NORMAL PEOPLE THINGS.
>
> My dad calls it depressurization.
>
> If they offer, I accept, but I make it NORMAL for
> them. How many people miserable on their mission
> would have loved to just hang out for a bit, even
> if it was with a stranger?


Next time they knock on my door, I'm going to let them in and do this. But as soon as the 'we have some good news' mantra starts, then they'll be on their way.

I agree: missionaries are at best ill at ease and at worst severeloy depressed 100% of their waking hours. A respite into a sense of normality would surely be welcome and hopefully I would be able to 'plant a seed' of skepticism in their sub-concious minds. Hopefully.

I'll start a thread if this happens, but we only see them once in a blue fit in the UK

It was always a welcome time when someone would let us chill the hell out at their place. Many a nights were wasted in other parts of the mission I was not assigned to, hanging out with the fun people.
Gotta love Baltimore.

Service work is doing something for people in need in my mind.

Unless a person is physically unable to do it and financially unable to hire it out, it's just weird.

So send the boys down into your crawl space and ask them to take care of a nest of raccoons. Just after the missionaries get down on their bellies under there (hopefully suits and all), tell them that you've named the big raccoon "Bitey."

Every time I hear this - I am reminded once again of this classic video of Ms. Betty Butterfield:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWnYNXTT_Vw

"Eat your pickles and then your butter....I'm so hungry"!
Betty Butterfield

Sparky Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Every time I hear this - I am reminded once again
> of this classic video of Ms. Betty Butterfield:
>
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWnYNXTT_Vw
>
> "Eat your pickles and then your butter....I'm so
> hungry"!
> Betty
> Butterfield


Shouldn't that be butter first? Help the sour pickles go down. I know you know what I mean.

Cute video :o)

Perhaps to an inner city or a more depressed area, a homeless shelter, an abused women's center, a soup kitchen.

The suburbs of Phoneix? Sure people need help, but the way to find the needy among them isn't to randomly flit about asking strangers on the street if they need anything.

It's so obvious that these guys are out selling something no one wants or needs. "Helping" is a sham.

They used to do this years ago. But were never quite so pushy with the message of Jesus Smith as they are now.

"Is there anything we can do for you" ==


"Is there anyway we can insinuate ourselves into your life, anyway we can get your tithe money into our church coffers, anyway we can use you and yours to reinforce our own precarious faith, anyway we can get you to join us on the treadmill to Zion?"


"We just want to help ..."

A couple of years ago, right before I quit attending church there was a lady baptized into our ward. One testimony meeting she got up and was all teary-eyed about her son who had been recently thrown in jail on a drug related charge. She then went on to thank the mishies for picking up the dog poop in her backyard which was usually done by the son who was no longer around. She didn't just mention it, she expounded on it, gushed about how humble and helpful the mishies were, etc. I was totally grossed out listening to her.

I had a son on a mission at the time and I hoped to hades that I wasn't paying big bucks to the church so he could do that for someone in the name of the lord.
Holy Crap for sure!!