So maybe a few of you remember me from older days on the board. I need some advising on the paperwork aspect of escaping the mormons! I haven't actually looked at it in about 6 or 7 years.

Once upon a time I sent in the letter to Salt Lake that said take me off your lists, or whatever, and got back the response that said it was a local matter. I'd just spent several months dodging the local mormons and finally gotten them to stop showing up at my apartment in boston, so I never did anything else.

so am I still on the rolls, as it were?
how do I find out if I am?
and what do I do to make sure I'm removed henceforth?


otherwise, for those who are interested, life is good. it hasn't been so pressing to make sure things were official because I was so far removed from mormonism that it just didn't matter to me. plus I moved abroad so it's harder to track me, and I don't give my address to my mother who used to sic missionaries on me.
but now, I'm engaged and I want to be free of all this before we actually get married (next january! in england!). and to be honest the more I've been brooding over flattop's death in the past year, the more I've been convinced that I need to be sure to not be involved, even in name only, with anything that hurt him, too.

and a side note: I'll probably weigh in more with the fraud case going on in the UK, as I'm now a trained lawyer in the UK, though can't practice yet. I actually think that it stands a decent chance, but only on the genetics argument, that is easily scientifically proven, while the others are more circumstantial. but i've been covering it a bit on fb, and was told that there was discussion going on here, so when I have time I'll examine it. hopefully there are other uk lawyers weighing in too.

any help with the making sure my name is removed would be great, and a big thanks ahead of time.

No, you are not on the records. The "ecclesiastical matter"/local matter thing that the reference is just a last-ditch effort to control you and bring you back around. If one is being less cynical, it is a way to allow your bishop to know whether or not it is really you making the request and not just some joke. Legally, however, you are out of the church as soon as they are in receipt of the letter. Maybe that's even wrong; maybe you are out as soon as the letter is postmarked. Either way you are out.

Wait. If you are trained in jura right there in the UK, why you asking? And besides, your privacy rights are far more stringent there than in the US.

For those of us who knew him on the board (I never really knew him except here in this particular context), we all miss him and feel terrible for what happened. We also miss the others--Ausgaz, Queenbee, and Deenie--who have passed on. Deenie was so funny, and Ausgaz used to write me personally to give me tips on life without Mormonism.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/09/2014 09:23AM by cludgie.

Frodo, and Yossarian (aka Ex-Seventy). Perhaps others. They are missed.

I forgot about Yossarian. Sorry. I'm unsure about Frodo.

It's true my privacy rights are pretty strong here, and I'm not worried about that -- what I am worried about is my parents forcing updates into the record system, and putting my partner's information down too. And that would be in the USA, and out of our hands.

I thought it took 2 letters before you were for sure out? Or these things have changed?

It never took two letters. Flattopsf sent in a second letter and got an almost immediate response, probably to the first letter, and thereafter became convinced that two letters were needed, and advised people that way. Repeatedly.

Falls under the category of "the rooster thinks his crowing causes the sun to come up".

Unless they lose the letter ( which happens - it's a bureaucracy), one letter/email gets the job done.

And nice to see an old familiar name back on the board.

Since this was a few years ago, the church may not have been as proactive as they are now about cancelling membership without going through the bishop/BP hoops first. A call to SLC member records may be in order.

Here are the instructions for resigning:
http://www.exmormon.org/remove.htm
Scroll down a bit and you can find phone numbers.

Good to hear from you again.

thanks for that, jpt. not hugely looking forward to phoning in (will they tell mormon family members I did?), but I want to get the job done.

They'll tell you if they consider you to be gone from their membership.

Unless you receive a final letter, there's no way to know where you stand with them unless you call and ask.

So nice to hear from you! I am glad that you have been too busy with real life to be around :) So exciting about the engagement! You will have to email me with more details.

I would go ahead and call COB. Don't worry, they are always nice. It's the locals that are the problems. Sigh.

I used to enjoy your posts!

They usually send a second letter telling you that your request has been processed. We didn't get ours for a few months, so I called membership records and we got the second letter within days. (That was about 10 years ago). But people who describe the process now report the same thing.

Legally though, you have resigned as soon as they get your first letter.

PUCK! PUCK!

You wrote something? ;-P

Can't help you with the name thing but yes, I remember you. Glad life is good and you are engaged. How wonderful. It is also nice about your ability to practice law soon. Yes, do keep us in the loop about this case going on.

It's really good to hear from you. It sounds like life is OK, and I'm glad!

Seem like if you know your record number you could try to create an account on the LDS website. If you can't then your not on the rolls. So does anyone know a simple way to find out what your number is without having to go to church?

"So does anyone know a simple way to find out what your number is without having to go to church?"

One way to check . . . If in your past income tax records you still have a copy of your yearly donations which was sent to you by TSCC, then the Membership Record number is on that document.

Very awesome update! Glad to hear from missing peeps, always!
Would love to read any insight you have on the case or as it progresses, but I'm also very glad you have moved far enough along to not feel the pull to stop by here frequently. :)

Sometimes RfM stands in as purgatory for me mentally, but then being the only one out yet still trying to maintain positive ties with idiotic mormons means I sometimes need the support. Bleh...
If it weren't for the children, it would be easier to leave it all behind.

No guarantees. I sent my letter in New Years last year, never heard a word back and am too lazy to check. Just last month, I was volunteering in my child's classroom with another mom when she noticed the name on my name tag and got excited. She got all giggly and introduced herself, told me I must have a daughter and knew her name. Then she saw the WTF?? expression on my face and introduced herself as the "secretary." Apparently primary secretary based on the toothy smile. So there you have it, my child is still on the primary roles in spite of asking to have her name removed. Guess it's time to get off my ass and raise a ruckus.

Puck! It's so good too hear from you and to have some news of you! What an exciting life you are living--not under anyone's thumb. Please give us occasional updates. They are so welcome. About you and the case, both!