I was wrong. I thought Mormon Hell was "Spirit Prison." Boy was I wrong.

Crazy how uninformed I am about Mormonism. Well, I was called an anti-Christ and kicked out of Seminary. So I never read this.

http://www.ldsces.org/manuals/doctrine-and-covenants-and-church-history-seminary-student-study-guide/dc-ssg-3-dc-76.asp
"Doctrine and Covenants 76:84 —“These Are They Who Are Thrust down to Hell”

Elder BruceR. McConkie, who was a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, explained the relationship between hell and those who are telestial:

“That part of the spirit world inhabited by wicked spirits who are awaiting the eventual day of their resurrection is called hell. Between their death and resurrection, these souls of the wicked are cast out into outer darkness, into the gloomy depression of sheol, into the hades of waiting wicked spirits, into hell. There they suffer the torments of the damned; there they welter in the vengeance of eternal fire; there is found weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth; there the fiery indignation of the wrath of God is poured out upon the wicked. ( Alma 40:11–14 ; D.&C. 76:103–106 .)...

“After their resurrection, the great majority of those who have suffered in hell will pass into the telestial kingdom; the balance, cursed as sons of perdition, will be consigned to partake of endless wo with the devil and his angels....

“Who will go to hell? This query is abundantly answered in the scriptures. Since those going to a telestial kingdom travel to their destination through the depths of hell and as a result of obedience to telestial law, it follows that all those who live a telestial law will go to hell” ( Mormon Doctrine, 349–50). "

Save me a place by the marshmallow stand.

So there aren't really 3 levels of heaven. There're two levels of heaven and the third is really hell until the resurrection, then it's the third level of heaven. This should be a video game.

Here's what bugs me. I banked on third level heaven, because I don't like stairs. Now I'm going to Hell? I thought they said that you would kill yourself if you knew how good the lowest kingdom was. That puts us lower than Hell. Now the threat is removed. No matter what you do, your next life will be better. And your motivation for giving to the Mormon church is?

You didn't know this as well Don?

I wonder how many exMos don't know Mormons believe they are going to a literal Hell???

I really didn't know about the Hell-Telestial connection. Possibly the only good thing I could say about Mormonism was that they let other people believe in Hell, and that they believed all humanity would be in some form of paradise someday (with the exception of sons of perdition, an ill-defined group to which I may or may not belong). What the Hell, I'm damned either way.

Yeah, spirit prison will supposedly transform into hell during the millenium and after judgement it will be transformed to enuch paradise.

So I guess the order of Mormon operations is the following.

CelK = missionary to Spirit Prison, Millennium vacation, Eternal orgasm

TerK = changing ways in Spirit Prison. Millennium vacation, Eternal morgasm working for CK peeps

TelK = waiting in Spirit Prison, Millennium Guantanamo Bay, Eternal masterbation

SoP = waiting in Spirit Prison, Millennium Guantanamo Bay, Eternal nothingness

And if atheists are right just fast forward to Eternal nothingness for everyone - no dead baptizing required.

If this is how things really are in the afterlife, with Mormons in charge, then just fast-forward me to nothingness. Please.

It's interesting that the author of all that garbage is quoted as saying that it really wasn't too bad of a place , so to speak .

Wait, but other LDS sources make it clear that there is a distinction between hell and the telestial kingdom, and mcconkie has been all but thrown under the bus. So, basically another example of the shifting world of mo doctrine, and the church of Jesus Christ of "we teach what the fuck ever we feel sounds good at the moment"-day saints.

Morg Kool-Aid flavor of the day.

Lovely god they've got there.

I used to think Mormon theology was a kinder gentler sort but I was wrong - they have two kinds of Hell waiting for me - the endless waiting room followed by the torture chamber. But I guess the pay off is eternal masturbation. Other theologies have me roasting for eternity - literally.

Well they make god sound so warm and friendly by calling Him Father. But then you read stuff like that and think, "Man, what a lousy parent!"

Yeah, well look at God's record for bringing truth to humanity.

Not so clear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FiHRVb_uE0

Too bad there is not some universal CPS. Seems this "Heavenly Father" would lose custody of those poor children he "loves" so much, but nevertheless decided to bind and chain in hell to be tormented and tortured until he decides they can come out.

Yeah, they can't come out of their torture chambers for 1000 years. God wants us to "feel badly" for what we did in this the day of our probation.

Topping for Bednar.

This is the problem they run into when they try to mix the mythology of the Bible with the mythology invented by Joseph Smith. Every now and then, you have glaring contradictions like this, which take some convoluted explaining.

The Bible (and the BoM, for that matter) quite clearly teaches a two-tiered afterlife: heaven or hell. And ending up in hell is really quite easy, tell one lie and you're on the highway to hell!

The D&C, on the other hand, teaches a four-tiered afterlife, with three of the four tiers being "heaven." And nearly everybody makes it to a heaven. You actually have to try rather hard to end up in Outer Darkness, so clearly that can't be the hell referred to in the Bible!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/19/2014 12:20PM by nickname.

Yes, when I compared notes on leaving religion behind with a Christian friend she told me that she still had nightmares about the hell fire and burning they thundered on about in church each week. That sounded all wrong to exMo me, so I looked in the New Testament. Wow, damnation is HOT if you believe that...