But this time it's sister missionaries. Who dares me to open the door in my underwear the next time they drop by?

Good luck. Every couple years or so, the Mormons drop by my house, despite the no-contact request. Last time, they acknowledged that there's no effective way to avoid contact. The no-contact request only lasts as long as that particular Elder's Quorum presidency is in office. A new presidency won't know about the no-contact request, and so people will drop by again.

Is that really true? My husband has been the ward mission leader and I've seen the list of in-actives which is quite extensive I might add. There are brief notes beside names and that list was printed out before my eyes my the ward clerk. The notes stating "do not contact" "to be taken off record" etc are in the system.

You really think a pair of 18 year old male zealots are going to take a tiny note like that seriously after being told for their entire lives that they hold religious truth that no one else has?

They contact you every now and then to confirm that you still want no contact. Catch-22.

Magic or regular?

+1

:D

It depends on what you call magical.

"Hey Sisters, care to see something magical in my sacred underpants?"

Well that'll make sure that the Church doesn't ever allow them to visit you again. LOL

"Oh, why hello, LADIES. I've been expecting you."

"But I only asked the escort service for one of you."

Try that line man to boys to see the reaction!

After ten years the missionaries drop by one afternoon and asked my husband if I was home (this is a 2nd marriage and my current husband hasn't been active since he was 17!). He told the missionaries he'd be happy to get me, however, they should be prepared for an earful and some well prepared questions from a disgruntled exmo.

The missionaries left their calling card and declined to be introduced that day. I believe they were divinely inspired!! (Whatever)

After being loved bombed, ignored, gossiped about, prayed for, threatened by "loving" members, and everything else the Mormons tried to do to me and my children it quickly became easy to stand my ground with them.

I wonder how long it will take for the old ward to transfer our records? Or, how long it will take the mishies to knock or the bishop in the area.

I prefer telling they upfront that you are not interested and will not allow them to harass you.

"You Mormons seem to be stalking me. Please stop. I'm not interested and never will be. Please leave and take me off all of you lists."

There is a process within the mission programme known informally as "whitewashing". This is where new missionaries are introduced into an area and specifically NOT given the area book record of what has gone on with previous companionships. This is done to create a 'fresh' look at the area. It means that when you told the previous missionaries to go away and not come back, even if they recorded it, the new missionaries will, unwittingly, ignore your request.

Here's one that works at a new address:

Missionary: Hi! Are you *your name*?!
You: Nope. No one by that name lives here.
Missionary: Oh...well..uhh...you know where I might be able to find them?
You: Nope, I'm not a phone book.
Missionary: Erm...well, do you have a couple minutes to...
You: No. Cheers, mate. *close the door*

What a great response. :)