On tonight's episode of 90 day fiance, the TBM couple got married in the CULTural hall. Her parents could not come from Brazil so they did some kind of Skype thing (something like that anyway). They won't be able to come if the couple goes to the temple either, but they can't Skype that.
It is on again tonight at 10 pm, MST. She did look beautiful. Too bad she couldn't have been in a beautiful venue since she is beautiful. The cultural hall just cheapened everything. Another stupid rule about the CULT, no chapel weddings....not that the chapels are much prettier, but a little bit.

Isn't it interesting that they call a portion of the church building the CULTural hall? It is a gymnasium (what does that have to do with culture?) I think CULT-ural hall says more about it.

The reception was in the CULT-ural hall.

It looks like they got married in the temple first. The show downplayed it big time. They showed the outside of the LA Temple. Looks like something from Snow White and Disneyland and Oh so white and delightsome!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2014 05:27AM by verilyverily.

the Relief Society room. That's where DH and I were married.

The bishop really laid it on heavily about what a pity that we couldn't have gotten married "for time and eternity" in the temple (which confused the hell out of the nevermo attendees. They didn't understand why we couldn't at least use the chapel, since there WAS one.)

At least, it was legally recognized. And we are saving up for a humdinger of a vow renewal in a very romantic place. (It will be a while yet, so no details.)

Why wouldn't they be able to have the ceremony in the chapel? I don't understand why.

I was told that weddings were not allowed in the chapel because that would give it some sort of stamp of ecclesiastical approval (as opposed to a temple wedding) and they did NOT want to give this impression. So they have it in a regular room, to keep it just as unremarkable as possible.

I got the impression that it was considered just a notch above "common law" marriage - at least, you are legally married so you can't be considered to be living in sin. (And just for the record, "common law" marriage is not legally recognized in a lot of states.)

It is a very thinly veiled insult to couples who want to marry but for whatever reason, don't qualify for temple marriage. At least, that's the way I've come to see it.

As a child I remember going to my former babysitter's wedding in the chapel. (Mid 70's) Reception in cultural hall. When did this rule kick in?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2014 02:02PM by crom.

When did the "no weddings in the chapel" thing start? I've BEEN to Mormon weddings in the chapel...they walked down the aisle and everything!LOL I always knew they were "frowned on," but I didn't know they forbade it.

So, again, when did that happen?

It looked to me like the relief society room or the primary room. I was confused because at first the guys were waiting for them at the temple, but then they ended up at the regular church. It came on again and I listened to the ceremony part. They didn't actually say it was a wedding, but they were honoring their decision to be together. Probably got special permission because her parents couldn't be there, and because it was on TV.

I knew it immediately when I saw the basketball lines on the floor.

I thought that what was shown was a ring ceremony after the temple sealing. The show was pretty vague about it all.

I agree. It did seem vague. I took it thatthey were TBM, saw clips of the temple, but no discussion. Her involvement in Mormonism seemed odd to me as well, lovely, bright personality, but not clear how she came to be a Mormon. Almost felt BIC naived, not a convert deceived.

He was Mormony though and his mother was a perfect female TBM.

I believe they showed a watered down ring ceremony as well.

They edited it heavily.

When she left for the temple she was in shorts. When the car pulled up to the chapel she was all dolled up in her dress.

They made it look like the wedding was in the temple as all the outside shots were of the temple.

Just to balance the topic, the Catholic Church requires that couples get married in the church building itself.

http://www.uscatholic.org/glad-you-asked/2009/08/why-can%E2%80%99t-catholics-wed-outdoors

I don't know if its the rules now, but years ago if one wasn't a catholic, the ceremony was held in the sacristy (the room wear the priest puts on the robes for services) or at the rectory, the house wear the priest lives, but not allowed in the main church building.

My understanding was always that in order to be married in the Catholic church, at least one person out of the couple has to be Catholic and the couple has to agree to raise the children in the church (this is not enforced, just the expectation.) I never saw a Catholic wedding anywhere but in the main church. I can't imagine why a non-Catholic couple would want to be married by a priest, but I suppose it does happen.

My cousin, however, had to be married in her husband's Lutheran church because she was divorced and had not yet gotten her prior marriage annulled. No one in my family thought that this was a big deal at all. We all attended and it was a very nice wedding.

I can't speak to the past any further back than my parents, but they will be married 49 years this year. My mother is Catholic, my dad is not. They were married by a Catholic priest, in the main sanctuary of a Catholic Church--not elsewhere on the property.

Twenty five years later, my husband and I chose to get married in a Catholic Church. We were told that to be married there, the ceremony had to officiated by a Catholic priest, and at least one member of the couple had to be Catholic.

mysid Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I can't speak to the past any further back than my
> parents, but they will be married 49 years this
> year. My mother is Catholic, my dad is not. They
> were married by a Catholic priest, in the main
> sanctuary of a Catholic Church--not elsewhere on
> the property.
>

Two of my Catholic cousins married non-Catholics, both within the last ten years, and both weddings were held in Catholic churches. It's very common.

My younger brother was married in a Catholic church, and they were able to have it in the sanctuary because my SIL was Catholic, and they accepted my brother's hospital baptism when he nearly died from pneumonia as an infant. My dad did the baptism as he was raised Catholic, and he did it to appease the grandparents who were devout Catholics. My brother and I were never raised Catholic, and we like to say that his baptism didn't take. My brother and SIL did the promise to raise their children Catholic, but they only had my niece, and despite the fact that she was baptized, she's not being raised in the church.

My parents weren't actually married in a Catholic church, but my grandpa did convince a priest to do the ceremony in my aunt's living room. They did get divorced when my brother and I were adults, but my grandpa was never told about that so he died believing that my parents were still married.

As a former Roman Catholic with family members still in the church, I can tell you that when a wedding occurs between a Catholic and a non-Catholic, the full Catholic Mass is not said. Yes, there is a homily (priest's opinion based upon the Scriptural text read), and full marriage vows, including the exchanging of rings, are said. However, there is no Communion, and no Eucharist is handed out. And Summer is right in that the expectation when Catholics marry outside of their faith, is that any offspring are supposed to be raised Catholic, though the latter is not in any way enforced (thankfully).

Thanks for the clarification.

This is not correct in my part of the world, West Coast, USA. I am Catholic and my husband is not. 15 years ago we were married in the church by a priest with a full Catholic Mass. I received the Eucharist as did any Catholic attendee. Our priest even gave us a Papal blessing as a wedding gift (a scroll with our wedding date, signed by the Pope and suitable for framing). My husband did agree that our children would be raised in the Church.

I've NEVER SEEN a genuine LDS chapel with ONE aisle (center); they all seem to have Two.


just sayin'.

I attended a wedding in a church with two aisles. The bridal party entered through one aisle, and left by the other. I guess they wanted to make sure everyone got a good view.

I watched this and it was confusing. They showed the guy calling and saying he was already at the temple but then they got married in a ceremony at the cultural hall. When the guy called he said it was 9am which seems on the early side for a wedding so maybe they did the temple thing then ring exchange for the rest of the unworthy family members. I liked the part about the friends talking about not having to chaperon these two adults now that they were married. Why on earth do people let themselves be treated as children?? But I guess when obedience is the first law of heaven what can you do...

When people get married in a church, it's standard fare to have flowers, organ music, bridesmaid's, groomsmen,Tuxes, a beautiful wedding dress, and all of you friends and family there.

There's none of that in the temple.

They put a stop to people getting married in the chapel because the weddings were so much better than the temple variety, and they didn't want the girls to decide to get married in the chapel first so they could have a REAL wedding. That's about the time they started hyping up temple marriage and how beautiful it is. They did an intentional campaign to convince girls they wanted a temple wedding.

I remember this. I was about 12 or 13.(about 1965) I had been to a couple of chapel weddings and I thought the were beautiful. On the way home my mother would go on and on about what a waste of money it was. If those girls got married in the temple they could have saved themselves a lot of money! That's when I knew I didn't want to get married in the temple. That's not how it worked out for me, but I never did want a plain, boring, temple wedding.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2014 02:45PM by madalice.

I joined the church in the late 1980's and married my current DH in the early 1990's. Nobody ever explained WHY we couldn't be married in the chapel, they just said it wasn't done, so I accepted that. I had no way of knowing that it might not have been that way in other LDS churches with other bishops.

I was a bit put off with the RS room ceremony, but what the heck - at least it was legal. I wasn't inclined to argue with that.

It is a gym and L-d$,inc pushes basketball because the leaders are all male and obsess over big balls.

I am on my second ( and last) marriage. I married my husband in the chapel in 2004. I had a nice, formal dress, my bridesmaids had matching dresses and I even had a flower girl. The only thing that bothered me was that they didn't allow the Wedding March to be played. I walked in down one aisle and out of the chapel down the other side. I had a VERY cool bishop. I told him that 90% of the attendees would not be mormon and I wanted the ceremony to be as "normal" as possible. I don't believe he mentioned the temple even once! I asked him what about when he pronouced us husband and wife and the audience would want to clap. He said, "So, let 'em clap"! I was shocked. Clapping in the chapel! LOL Obviously not all bishops are like this one.

I had a bishop that said anyone could get married in the church if they wanted. But, the only room they could use was the bishops office. What a jerk.

"Almost felt BIC naived, not a convert deceived." - I think she met him when he was a mishie in Brazil. I think that was mentioned at some point in one of the episodes. She could have already been a TBM and he just happened to meet him or she was one of his baptizees.

My take on the actual show was that they did the temple thing (downplayed big time by the show, probably TSCCs idea) and then went to the church and did the other ceremony for the parents in Brazil and for the cameras for the show. On the show;s version of the ceremony, she had her mom's wedding dress on with short sleeves. That would NOT have been her dress in the temple.
I'm sure that TSCC told the show producers that they were not not to mention anything negative about the temple ceremony or that fact that nobody except his parents could be there.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2014 05:26PM by verilyverily.

backphil - As a musician, I perform at weddings of all different religions (except TBM - probably because no music in the temple). My observation of Catholic weddings:
1. Catholic ceremonies are quite formal still and the couple DOES promise to raise the kids Catholic if the couple is of child bearing age. If it is an older couple, this is omitted.
2. Every Catholic wedding we have played for has been in the church building except one.
This one couple had special permission to have it outside, BUT several young boys (perhaps alter boys dressed in white robes) carried a large cross to set up behind the priest before the ceremony began. And it was a large cross, at least 7-8 feet tall.
I love the indoor weddings in the Catholic church or in any church, but the majority of inside weddings we perform for are Catholic couples. The acoustics are FABULOUS and we don't need amplifiers. There are no bugs and the sun, rain, and wind are not factors.
3. In about 80% of the Catholic ceremonies, the couple walks over to a statue of the Virgin Mary and lays roses (real roses) at her feet while we play Ave Maria in the background. It is truly beautiful whether or not one is Catholic or religious at all. It is just a neat thing to do.
4. We play Ave Maria in EVERY Catholic ceremony whether it is for communion or flowers for the Virgin Mary or just as part of the ceremony's candle lighting etc. We ALWAYS play it. And Panis Angelicus ALWAYS.
5. Catholic ceremonies are the longest of the wedding ceremonies we play for.
Those are just my observations from performing at about 20 Catholic weddings per year. We have about 70 outdoor weddings per year. There are about 10 weddings total in all other churches except the CULT.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2014 06:36PM by verilyverily.

I was married in the chapel - it was outside of the US though where temple marriage is not recognised so had a civil ceremony followed by a quick reception and then onto the temple. No wedding march was allowed. The only music permitted had to be out of the hymn book.