My dad has decided that as soon as this Saturday he is going to cut off my internet connection at my house by changing the router password, his goal is to stop me from using the network to continue to look up all things related to how crazy the cult is. Thankfully i have my phone data plan to keep up with what i am doing on here with my fellow exmo's and other posters.

I am so fearful for my family when they will realize that staying in TSCC will do them no good, they are heavily brainwashed. They have tried to stop me from leaving but it will never work. I have my freedom.

MOVE OUT asap, even if you have to share a place with several other people.

If he pays the phone bill than I would watch a shit ton of movies on your phone and run up his bill.

Bad idea. Good way to lose your phone.

I tried to force my children to go to church and believe -- they think they are doing this out of love for you, but it's out of fear. Understand the church has total control over their lives and it's not going to change anytime too soon.

As parents in the Church you think you're a failure if you children don't do all the things they are told to do by the MORG.
Hopefully, you can understand it from their perspective.

In the meantime, maybe do your research at the library. I am sorry it has to be this way. I hate the church for how they seperate families and draw hard and fast lines in the sand.

I thought we needed to bless our babies, so I didn't upset my parents or the in_laws. I still had an endless thought in my mind that it should mean more to us, but it didn't more than saving face. We never did have any of our kids blessed for that real reason that there was none. Your instinct for your own family can be a powerful tool, listen to yourself before others..

Oops..wrong thread...but this little blip was real for me and DH. Carry on.. :)

This sounds like familiar tactics to my father.

Watch out. I'm sure you're already aware of how volatile these types of people can be.

Is this your house or his?

If it is YOUR home, how does he have the ability to disconnect/change your internet?

If it is HIS home, don't you kinda have to live by his rules, like them or not?

I do live with the parents at the moment so it's their house but I intend to go back to college in April for my senior year, sadly it's at BYUI but with 91 credits it's too late to transfer from that cult controlled school.

I'll be happy to be gone for four months, I believe though that after I finish the semester that my folks will shun me... My family still won't listen at that point either. So I may end up staying in the west for the long haul, while trying to convince them from afar.

It appears I understand now.

You and your father have a difference of opinion over how you use the internet that he pays for in his home.

He is going to use the power he has, as the one writing the check, to enforce his viewpoint.

You, who depends on your parents for housing, think it is unfair that he gets his way, even though he pays the bills.

I would urge you to exercise your freedom and become self supporting right away.

Thankfully, I already self support myself... :) at some point my folks might get so tired of my views different from TSCC that I may have to move out , they've let me stay all this time based on me being quiet, but I need my folks to see the light about the cult, they have never listened as I've said. I can only hope it happens at some point that they will see TSCC for what it is.

You can't see the truth for anyone else.

I am sure your efforts to present your views are as bothersome to your parents and their efforts to retain their views are to you. The difference being is that they are in their home and get to set the rules.

Many ,but not all, Mormon parents are not particularly good parents.
This is because they have too much on their plate to take the real needs of their children into consideration.
Typically, they also have too many kids to care.

Many parents also adopt the top down management style of the Mormon church, which allows neither dissent nor consideration.
In short, it is a prescription for a joyless existence.

You sound quite young, so you have an excellent opportunity to prepare yourself to make your own life better.
Get out of the house,go to college, the military, or learn a trade.
You don't need to follow in the awful footsteps of your parents.

two words: private browsing

two more words: clear history


two more words: problem solved

If information is dangerous, imagine the risk of ignorance!

As usual, DonBagley, perfectly said.

Be respectful to your parents. They are dealing with your disaffection the only way they know how. And you have to quit thinking in terms of getting them out of the cult. It will backfire on you. They have to find their own chinks in the armor of their belief. Try your best to preserve your relationship with them and don't let differences in religious views ruin your relationship.

Your advice is well taken, thank you.

I would back off trying to deconvert your parents. That's not a game you are going to win. It also might encourage them to take away your phone (if you are on a family plan) and even mess with your ability to attend BYUI. Has that not occurred to you?

I was worried about that too. Disbelief can get you expelled, with an Honor Code hold on your transcript so you can't request one in order to transfer. Be quiet and careful until that diploma is in your hand. You don't want your folks asking the bishop for advice - he can pull your endorsement and you get to start all over again.

Are you sure there is no way to transfer, no local public school you could afford? USU is dirt cheap if you have a parent or grandparent who went there...

If you don't believe, you are cheating yourself out of a real college experience and saddling yourself with a BYUI label for life. Kind of late in the game to switch, but I was miserable at BYU in more liberal days. BYUI - now - I can't even imagine. If that is better than life at home I am truly sorry for you.

Graduate, get a job somewhere you enjoy living, and appreciate an independent life as soon as you can. It does get better.

Make your phone a hotspot. Connect to your own wi-fi. Pay for it yourself. Problem solved.

Usually, physical access to the router gives you a possible alternative to connecting to it. Such as a button that will give your computer the password or a numeric code printed on the bottom as an alternative password. Plus, an Ethernet cable will get you on either way. Unless he blocks your MAC address and/or your physical access to the router, his gesture is hollow, at best.

I think that gets abused by controlling parents.

Sure, I have the right and responsibility to require my kids to come home at a certain time, follow certain rules, and to help out around the house. I also have the right to limit certain activities that would make living with them unpleasant, like listening to loud music and keeping me awake at night.

I do NOT have the right to control everything they read or think, nor COULD I, if I tried.

Parents who try to limit (or rather, tightly control) every thing their kids read or say or think have crossed FAR over the line. They are showing their true colors as controlling and emotionally unhealthy, and their children should try to get out from under that control as soon as they are able.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/19/2014 11:23AM by imaworkinonit.

I agree and I also think that respect is a two-way street. While adult children living in their parents' home should probably show some respect for the House Rules, the makers of those rules should probably show some respect to the needs and individual preferences of those who are living in the home.

I found, as an adult, that the "my house, my rules" didn't get so much respect when the shoe was on the other foot and my parents were staying with me at my house. In my house, you don't abuse the animals. Yet my father would constantly disrespect this and stomp his feet, pretending to lunge at my dogs, to make them freak out and bark. I warned him repeatedly that that is a very efficient way to scare a dog and therefore, get yourself bit and please fucking stop because you are traumatizing my dogs.

Is it really too much to ask that people don't mess with your animals when they are staying in your house?

Apparently it was, because my dad pouted the rest of the time they were there and he actually decided to leave and go home in the middle of the evening. Like, 9:00 o'clock at night, he decides they need to pack and load up and get back on the road. To Ohio. From Florida. A 1000-mile road trip. "Ah, my kid won't let me tease her dog; I'm going home."

Respect should work both ways.

Absolutely he should respect your rules in your home.

He was unwilling to do so. You were (correctly) unwilling to change the rules to his liking.

So, he departed your home. Your rules are intact. He is free to do as he pleases.

Where in all of that is the problem?

He refuses to respect me as a capable, responsible, discerning adult. He continues to attempt to be controlling from 1,000 miles away, demanding my attention at his whims. Because there is no respect for me, I have lost most of my respect for him. It's a strained relationship. I have no interest in seeing him or spending any time with him. If I had children, I would not allow them to spend any time in his toxic presence.

But yes, my "don't abuse the animals rule" is still intact. No problem there.

April is only 6 weeks away, depending on when you start.
The time will pass quickly.

My advise would be to never return.
You can't change other people, you can only change yourself and create your own life.

Oh and be sure NOT to date/marry Mormons.

Cool your jets young Padawawn. Back off a bit. Keep all this close to your chest. Finish school, get job, move out and become independent. Even then it would be wise to keep your knowledge of church matters reigned in. In the meantime learn everything.