I was just talking to my sister the other day, and we ended up in fits of hystarical laughter over the image of Joseph Smith with his face in his hat.

Somehow that just set us off, because come on!! WHO in their right mind would believe a nutcase saying: "I see God's word in the bottom of my hat, come and do as I say!"


*wiping the tears from my eyes again now..*


Are there things about the cult that makes you laugh now?
There are plenty of things that can make us sad, so a bit of the giggles is not a bad thing either huh?

The story of the angel with the flaming sword that JS would tell his potential spiritual wives. For those unfamiliar: Joseph would approach his intended "victim" and tell her that god wants her to marry him and that an angel with a flaming sword appeared to him and told him that he would slay him if the woman did not comply. Racked with guilt that she could be the cause of Joseph's death, she would consent.

Really?

Every time I think of this, I get a smile on my face. If I had known about this "pick up line" when I was younger, I might have given it a try. "Hey babe, I was just in the restroom and a dude with a flaming sword stopped me and told me that you had to sleep with me tonight or he would kill me. What do you think? Are you up for it?" Next think I know, I'm asking the bartender for some ice for my black eye.

I would love to see you try!

That's what tipped me off to JS possibly--probably--being sociopathic. That and the torment he put the Kimballs through to get to Helen Mar.

He didn't have the angel threaten death to the women, but to him! Engendering pity is a prime way to manipulate others.

Hey, isnt "A flaming sword" another term used for those with Gonorrhea? I think Smith may have been trying to give his potential victims (uh I mean spiritual wives) a heads up

It's always a little funny to listen to my family members talk about how something awesome or fortuitous happened in their lives and attribute it to paying their tithing. It's funny, yet kinda sad. Whenever I hear my family members talking about church related matters it feels like listening to the mentally handicapped men I work with talking about WWE.

I'm definitely going to be checking back in with this thread. It has the makings for everything I hope to see in an RFM thread: light-mindedness, loud laughter, and evil speaking of the Lard's anointed.

Yeah, that WWE stuff is totally fake. That's why I only watch the WWF.

(BTW, that above statement is exactly what one group of religious people bashing another, sounds like to me)

I always think, "it's like arguing about Hogwarts and Narnia."

what a Mormon testimony sounds like to me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvTNyKIGXiI

Careful now, FCD, Freddie Blassie is on here now.

He could put you in a choke hold and a throwdown...

All of your posts tickle my elbow.

When I want a belly laugh, I go to RfM...........

What makes me laugh?

The thought that Mormons think god is going to do an underwear check at the pearly gates.

That some people really truly believe the magic underwear protects them from physical harm (being on the east coast, I thought that was a mormon joke until I got married and my Utah born and bred SIL actually told me that).

The image of all the weird temple clothing piled on over you. Talk about weird!!! I had no idea the bizarre and creepy things they did in the temple. Now I can laugh about it and feel sorry for the poor sheep wasting an entire day going to the temple (nearest one is almost 3 hours away, so it takes up your whole day).

The jaredites in their airtight boats, with only one hole in the top and one in the bottom, traveling across the seas (for a year) with their families and livestock...

The thought of them trying to shovel all the manure out of that one hole in the ceiling !....
And then the wind picks up and the boat flips upside down....and everybody including all the shite.............

Aaaaaaahahahahahahahahaa! Lolol! That needs a cartoon that! LOLOLOL!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/19/2014 12:09PM by Becca.

Modern Family......

Read this book and then ask god if it's true!

You didn't get a response? Pray again!

Still nothing? Hmm, you're not exercising faith. You really need to humble yourself.

Really? You still haven't received a witness? What sins are you committing? You must be masturbating a lot. Are you acting on homosexual tendencies? Looking at porn? Did you kick a baby this morning? Kill someone?

I'm sorry that YOU don't have enough faith to pray sincerely. GOOD DAY!!

"What tickles your funny bone now"?



THIS:

"Brethren and sisters, put on your aprons."


THIS:

"The person is brought to this point, and the worker gives three distinct taps with the mallet . . ."


AND THIS:

"Health in the navel, marrow in the bones, strength in the loins and in the sinew. Power in the priesthood be upon me and upon my posterity through all generations of time and throughout all eternity. What is that"?


L

O

L

So stupid.

I swear, if ever! The mishies show up on my doorstep, I will open the door and say in a deep voice: what is wanted?...

OMG...I swear I'm going to do that if I ever get a chance. I'm almost looking forward to the next onslaught now.

Lolol! Now *that* would be funny to see!

HA HA HA! OMG I'm dying! To think I went through all that baloney and at one point thought it was real.

I know right?!

While if you say it now...it is just too silly for words

Watching gold book purveyors deny charges of fraud.

Yeah, all the temple stuff is pretty silly, isn't it? It reminds me of when I read "The 19th Wife", the book written by one of the polygamous wives of Brigham Young who divorced him and told the world all about the seedy underbelly of Mormonism and polygamy. She tells of the time she got her endowments, and how stagey and ridiculous the whole temple ceremony seemed. Brigham Young played Elohim and the man who played Satan wore tights and a ridiculous looking mask. When Eve partook of the forbidden fruit and Elohim came down to check on them her and Adam hid themselves, and all the saints taking part in the endowment were instructed to hide to, and they all hid behind the chairs and furniture. This woman thought it was so comical she couldn't contain herself anymore, and she belted out a laugh. This earned her a stern look from Heber C. Kimball who lectured her about it afterwards.

^^^ AHHHH! So many errors when I re-read that! Must! Edit!

Was at the library today and noticed a new book on scientology. I think it was called going clear, sounded like dying after severe diareaha. Anyway, I checked for mentions of Mormonism. Sure enough the author claims LDS is crazier than scientology. Who would ever believe Joe Smiths insane claims? Made me laugh, then made me very sad, how stupid was I?

Things that make me laugh: the image in my head of JS with his face in the hat (yes I am the sister of the OP) tears running down my face kind of laughter.

the image of a mormon going on and on about the WoW, that drinking coffee tea and coke/pepsi will stop you going to the CK, but being extremely fat and that temple garments are made for the obese. Something not right there.

And the fact that members get around the tea/coffee rule by drinking red bush tea and herbal tea and a coffee substitute called Caro (this is in Europe, no idea if members do this in the States)and is accepted. Hilarious.

Funny about the Caro thing. In German, it's all "coffee," and Caro is "Caro-Kaffee." On weekends, particularly Saturday afternoons, Germans do "Kaffeetrinken," like having afternoon tea. I used to be in a German stake, and whenever we had some sort of in-service or other meeting that interfered with your Saturday, Germans sweetened it up by doing it around "Kaffeetrinken" with Lots of German pastries (Puddingplunder (Danish), Bienenstich (crumb cake), Marmorkuchen (marble cake), Mohnkuchen (poppy seed cake), etc., and lots of vacuum pitchers of Caro, plus cream and sugar and stuff. It was fantastic. Real cups and saucers, too. But the other American members of the stake and the American missionaries would protest. They didn't like the implication of "having coffee," and many would refuse to drink hot dark liquid from a cup. "People might think we're drinking coffee!" This always caused the stake leaders to look at each other like, WTF? Holger Rakow (now Elder Rakow) would smile and say, "Aber das is doch Caro-Kaffee. Es geht schon, elder!" "it's just Caro. Relax a bit."

Mormons get worked up over such nitnoy bullshit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4qFxTTi8q0

How much Thomas Monson sounds like Snaggle Puss even...

Listening to the "blasphemous" commentary on this board gives me a chuckle; like when people use language to mock the temple ceremony, or silly usernames like hold your tapirs.

Kolob.....and all the Gods to be.

KJ

When my Ex-mo wife gets a call from my TBM sister and answers the phone "What is wanted" in her best temple voice.

We get so much milage out of the temple sayings with TBM's it almost makes the 30 years in the church worth it.... NOT..

Anubis