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So our TBM friend's son had his missionary farewell today. DW said she would help out with food for the guests. While everyone went to church, we stayed at their house and prepared relish trays and kept an eye on the other food that was cooking. After church was over there was 75-100 people who showed up to eat and say goodbye to the missionary. They moved out of our neighborhood several years ago so we were surprised by how many people from our neighborhood were there. We saw neighbors we hadn't seen in years even though they live just a few houses away. Everyone was so friendly and asked how we were doing. I couldn't help thinking that if they really wanted to know how we were doing they would call or stop by and say hello once in a while.
We gave the missionary a memory card for his camera and a flashlight. Both were things he had said he needed. He was very surprised by and thankful for our gifts. I also gave him my letter which I had revised since posting it here last. I have attached a copy below if you care to read it. I had changed the tone of it quite a bit from last time.
You know, as long as you forget about the weird things they believe, Mormons can be a pretty fun bunch to hang out with. I thought it was interesting because you get really strange vibes off some people. Some seem very genuine and sincere and others are kind of plastic and fake. I don't know if part of that was because we weren't dressed in "church clothes" and hadn't gone to the church or not.
The one thing that really bothered me, though, was the fact that his father wasn't there. He is in the bishopric and had to stay for the meetings for some reason. I kept thinking to myself "It's about family." You would think the bishop would tell him to go home and not worry about it, but no. The "church" always has to come first, but remember "It's about family." Nobody else even seemed to noticed he was missing.
Mnemonic
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Dear Missionary,
A mission is an important time in the life of young LDS men and women. I hope that your mission is an incredible experience filled with good memories. To that end, I would like to give you some advice to help keep you safe, healthy, and happy.
I want you to remember that you are a volunteer, not an employee of the LDS church. If you need to take a break then do so. Don’t work yourself to exhaustion. Stress and overwork can weaken your immune system and leave you vulnerable to getting sick. Also, don’t work if you’re sick, and by sick I mean running a fever. If you have a fever you should be in bed, period. DW had problems after returning home from her mission as a result of working too hard on her mission.
Take care of your health. Eat right and exercise. See a doctor if you’re not feeling well. A friend of mine ignored his symptoms until he couldn’t. By the time he saw a doctor he was so sick he had to be sent home. He had developed ulcerative colitis and had to have a colostomy. He spent months in the hospital and still uses a colostomy bag to this day.
Stay focused on what’s important, and the things that are important is the relationships you make. It’s not about hours worked or numbers of baptisms. It’s about service. The relationships you make will have lasting effects on your life and on the lives of the people you’ve served long after you’ve returned home from your mission.
Call home once in a while. I know your parents, and especially your mom, would love to hear your voice. They don’t need to be long calls, just 5 minutes. Enclosed are two AT&T calling cards. They won’t last for 120 minutes because international rates are higher. If you need more let me know. I can send you a new one or refill those.
And last, but certainly not least, have some fun and enjoy the scenery, the culture, and the people you meet while you’re there. This is an once-in-a-lifetime experience. You may never visit these places again. Take LOTS of pictures.
Stay safe and healthy and have a good mission.
With Love,
Mnemonic
We gave the missionary a memory card for his camera and a flashlight. Both were things he had said he needed. He was very surprised by and thankful for our gifts. I also gave him my letter which I had revised since posting it here last. I have attached a copy below if you care to read it. I had changed the tone of it quite a bit from last time.
You know, as long as you forget about the weird things they believe, Mormons can be a pretty fun bunch to hang out with. I thought it was interesting because you get really strange vibes off some people. Some seem very genuine and sincere and others are kind of plastic and fake. I don't know if part of that was because we weren't dressed in "church clothes" and hadn't gone to the church or not.
The one thing that really bothered me, though, was the fact that his father wasn't there. He is in the bishopric and had to stay for the meetings for some reason. I kept thinking to myself "It's about family." You would think the bishop would tell him to go home and not worry about it, but no. The "church" always has to come first, but remember "It's about family." Nobody else even seemed to noticed he was missing.
Mnemonic
------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Missionary,
A mission is an important time in the life of young LDS men and women. I hope that your mission is an incredible experience filled with good memories. To that end, I would like to give you some advice to help keep you safe, healthy, and happy.
I want you to remember that you are a volunteer, not an employee of the LDS church. If you need to take a break then do so. Don’t work yourself to exhaustion. Stress and overwork can weaken your immune system and leave you vulnerable to getting sick. Also, don’t work if you’re sick, and by sick I mean running a fever. If you have a fever you should be in bed, period. DW had problems after returning home from her mission as a result of working too hard on her mission.
Take care of your health. Eat right and exercise. See a doctor if you’re not feeling well. A friend of mine ignored his symptoms until he couldn’t. By the time he saw a doctor he was so sick he had to be sent home. He had developed ulcerative colitis and had to have a colostomy. He spent months in the hospital and still uses a colostomy bag to this day.
Stay focused on what’s important, and the things that are important is the relationships you make. It’s not about hours worked or numbers of baptisms. It’s about service. The relationships you make will have lasting effects on your life and on the lives of the people you’ve served long after you’ve returned home from your mission.
Call home once in a while. I know your parents, and especially your mom, would love to hear your voice. They don’t need to be long calls, just 5 minutes. Enclosed are two AT&T calling cards. They won’t last for 120 minutes because international rates are higher. If you need more let me know. I can send you a new one or refill those.
And last, but certainly not least, have some fun and enjoy the scenery, the culture, and the people you meet while you’re there. This is an once-in-a-lifetime experience. You may never visit these places again. Take LOTS of pictures.
Stay safe and healthy and have a good mission.
With Love,
Mnemonic
He will be breaking lots of mission rules if he follows your advice.
Good ideas anyway. But if he believes in OBEYING, he will disregard what you've told him.
Good ideas anyway. But if he believes in OBEYING, he will disregard what you've told him.
I think sometimes people need to hear the obvious.
The mission rules tend to make people overlook their physical and emotional needs (how's that for an understatement)? So maybe your letter will at least give him pause before neglecting himself.
The mission rules tend to make people overlook their physical and emotional needs (how's that for an understatement)? So maybe your letter will at least give him pause before neglecting himself.
It's so kind and filled with hard-won advice. I hope that your young friend takes it to heart.
What a lovely, kind and respectful letter. It's so sad that his father could not attend the party.Surely he could have skipped his meetings for spending time with his son. A wise Bishop would have sent his father home.
probably THE wisest advice i have ever heard for a missionary. thanks mnemonic.
I would like to ask Father Bishopric one year from now, when your mishie is halfway his mish, exactly what was so important about the church meeting during his son's farewell. I presume he will not remember!
Great letter! The best part about it is he can't UNREAD it. He may want to be a hardcharger, and ignore a health issue, and his MP may push him to ignore it, but the words in your letter will nag at the back of his mind, and hopefully help him.
Good for you!
Good for you!
I wish somebody had told me those things before I went on my mission. Maybe I wouldn't have believed them. But maybe I would've had a lot less stress, better health, and a lot more fun. You did good!
I thought the morg stopped "missionary farewells" a few years ago.
Are they back on now because members demanded it?
Are they back on now because members demanded it?
... most mormons I know patently break this one rule laid down by "the Brethren" ... missionary farewells are 'verbotten.
Yep, I'm glad to see that MOST mormons see through the bull-crap of that "letter-of-the-law" ... cracks in the mormon veneer of blind-sheep mentality.
Yep, I'm glad to see that MOST mormons see through the bull-crap of that "letter-of-the-law" ... cracks in the mormon veneer of blind-sheep mentality.
At the very least, he probably read the letter to/with his parents and that gave them an opportunity to discuss their feelings about the items I mentioned, which may not have happened otherwise.
If they weren't supposed to have a farewell party, but did anyway, shows that they're not above bending some of the mormon rules.
They are good people and want what's best for their son. They are the most balanced mormon family I know and they're still friends with us, even though we "resigned" from the church 8 years ago. In fact, we feel closer to them than most of our family. In fact, we think of them as family.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/21/2011 05:49PM by Mnemonic.
If they weren't supposed to have a farewell party, but did anyway, shows that they're not above bending some of the mormon rules.
They are good people and want what's best for their son. They are the most balanced mormon family I know and they're still friends with us, even though we "resigned" from the church 8 years ago. In fact, we feel closer to them than most of our family. In fact, we think of them as family.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/21/2011 05:49PM by Mnemonic.