Such as..

1. Reduce time Elders serve?
2. Making missions a duty for all youth?
3. Abandoning the Boy Scouts program?
4. Demonizing marijuana?
5. Woman allowed to have priesthood.

The surprises could be endless, or it can be just 2 days of no substance.

What's your opinion?

I predict there will be a lot of first timers on the board asking us what our predictions will be for conference.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/09/2014 12:16AM by madalice.

I predict nothing that new...more of the same

Of course, I also predict ill fall asleep for most of it on the couch, so I might miss any new stuff

1. I doubt it, missions are no longer about converting people, but brainwashing the missionaries completely so they will be willful stupid sheep the rest of their lives. There are only the lucky few who have a light bulb turn on, but the majority sink into a state of mental remission and no longer have the ability to think for themselves. The program is to valuable for there success to cut back. Keep what members you have, tell them to marry young, and start popping out the next generation of brainless sheep.

2. I could see this happening down the road if the churches numbers start to take a hit, but not this coming conference.

3. Seeing as the boy scouts is controlled at a local level and the boy scout troops are ran by members of the ward (eagle scout here), I do not see them ending it. They would acquire major bigot status in the national headlines and the church is doing everything it can to hate the gays in a "loving way" (a smile laced with poison) that does not garner them bad publicity.

4. There might be a few authorities who mention Mary Jane briefly, but I do not see them lingering on it to much.

5. Allowing women to have the priesthood would be to much of a fundamental change for the church and would harm their membership. The sheep have been taught how to Baa, when to Baa, and how frequently to Baa, and if you suddenly try and teach them a new way to Baa after a century of pounding in the same Baa, you will instigate frenzy and panic. Women will not acquire the priesthood. Most LDS women do not even want it.

"....and the church is doing everything it can to hate the gays in a "loving way" (a smile laced with poison) that does not garner them bad publicity."

Well stated.

No idea. I've never paid any attention to those boring ass conferences. I wonder, though, if they'll talk at all about TSM's law suit?

Depends on the UK lawsuit. There may be a lot of explaining to do. Otherwise, same old same old...pay, pray, obey.

I'me hoping the cult has to spend some of conference, explaining why there's an arrest warrant out in the UK for Monson. I'me sure it'll have something to do with a claim by the church about government attacking the freedom of religion. But most people will see it for what it is.

All they'd really have to say is that the Lard has told us these are the last days, so you can expect more and more persecution.... blah, blah, blah....

Yeah. The fact that the church even exists at all is proof that a religious institution can do almost anything as long as it is run as a well managed business. When you look at every thing Joseph Smith did (insurrection against governments, marrying other men's wives, etc...), The fraud that Monson and Company has committed is mild in comparison. The only difference is that with the growth of the church, the criminal enterprise is much larger now. The fraud will only get worse if there is no conviction and resulting punishment and public shame on the church. Even with that, they're not going to stop the fraud where they can get away with it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/09/2014 12:59PM by azsteve.

There will be no mention of fraud. There will be veiled references to dark forces conspiring against the one true church, with the usual advice to doubt your doubts, put it on the shelf, and keep paying your tithes.

It'll be interesting to see how this plays out. Because if it comes down to a war in the media where the church is usually larger and more well received, that won't be the case here. The UK government can and will if necessary, televise the real facts, discrediting the church and exposing church created lies. If they try that "government is persecuting us" crap, the real facts may end up on TV every day for months. The church can't win a war like that. In that type of legal-media battle (even if it took place in Utah), the church would lose. I predict that if the legal case against Monson is too air-tight, that Monson might show up and plead guilty. Then the church and Monson never say anything about it. Pay the price, and let the people say what they want to. TBMs will see Monson as an innocent hero who fell on his sword to save the church.

I expect:

- more of the "doubt your doubts" or "don't lose hope/faith over our historical discrepancies" type of stuff.

- LGBT

- Mary Jane (mayyyybe)

- Every member a missionary

- Find the lost sheep (inactives, apostates) and 'save' them.

Asking for donations for Tommy's bond money, or however they do it in the UK?

Maybe the thing to watch is the broadcast between the sessions. I almost expect that they might create a video/news broadcast where they recap but in a "faith promoting" way the happenings of the court case. My money will be on more of the same from the ga's. nothing out of the ordinary will happen. Maybe rather than pray, pay obey it will be obey, pray, pay.

other than the regular stuff...maybe a mention of new atheism.

There won't be any talk of vast and spacious buildings.

More of the same. Uchtdorf will say something agreeable and TBMs will make him their heart throb. The GAs are too old and the system is too broke for them to do anything that would fundamentally change the train wreck course that they are on.

I predict that the only place I will hear anything about "general conference" is here on this board, as it's a complete nonevent everywhere except in Mormonland.

Plus a few administrative changes that will send TMBs scurrying as if they had heard a true revelation from God. This will probably involve some cost cutting move that hurts most TBMs.

It will be 'Groundhog Day~The Movie' all over again.

Hollerin Holland may give another rant about the BOM being flawless...

Same old sh!t.

TBM DH will demand silence so he can watch it. It will be DVRed and watched time and time again at 2:00 am while he gets ready for work.

Personally, I prefer to play the General Authority DeadPool game. It works like this. On the eve of each conference, you place bets on which old man is not going to live to see the next conference. Keep in mind, this does not include just Big 15, but all the various quorums of old geezers in their 70s.

Nothing really big happens at conference anyways. Even the Big Earth shattering announcements over the years, have all been really kind of lame. Mini-Temples? Really, I am supposed to get a testimonial hard-on because the Handshake Hutt now comes in a smaller size? The church is sending out 18 year old kids, instead of 19 year old ones? Yawn. Conference is about reshuffling the deck chairs, not changing the course direction of the ship away from the iceberg.

Tithe
Obey your cult leaders
Tithe
"Family" values
Tithe
Go to the temple
Tithe
Every member a missionary
Tithe
Token woman talk about modesty
Tithe

I predict same old same old. GC is nothing more than a bunch of extra long, boring, serious, church talks about stuff they've already said a hundred times over. Nothing new. Even when I was TBM I realized they never said anything new or revealed new revelation.

1) I could see this happening. The computers are crunching away, and I have no doubt that effectiveness per month of incremental service is measured (ie, how many more people are you likely to baptize in the 13th-18th month period as opposed to the 19th-24th). If they're not realizing any additional marginal effectiveness, I could see things going back to 18 months for everybody. That said, even the age change (21-19 for women, 19-18 for men) took 8 or 9 years worth of discussion and planning to change. The top 15 are now known for their agility in the marketplace.

2) Aren't we already there with men? With women, it's a tossup, but I don't think they'll be pushed too hard. Anecdotal data on this board seems to me to indicate that women's missions can be far more testimony-crushing for them.

3) Eh. The church has had contingency programs planned for a while, but I don't think they'll abandon the BSA as long as the church runs its programs how they want.

4) Still illegal in most of the states and at the federal level. I don't think they'll touch this one; the demonizing's mostly already been done by the likes of DARE.

5) Definitely not going to happen. Maybe 20 years from now, but the 'give women the priesthood' faction within the church is a minority, and a rabble-rousing minority at that.

My prediction...?

Droning voices, rattling papers, microphone bump noises, and a lot of boredom and ennui masquerading as speerchul feelins.

maybe this time I will win at mormon bullshit bingo.

http://www.salamandersociety.com/bingo/

TSM will have a webcam in his British cell and will deliver his conference talk via Skype.

Announcement that a new Masonic symbol has been discovered, and will be placed on all new garmies at the beginning of the new fiscal year.

That's a big assumption that any major change is forthcoming at General Conference. Mormons never usually do that - they may make one small change, but most of the time, changes come quietly without anyone really noticing it - except Exmos. On purpose!

"I am supposed to get a testimonial hard-on because the Handshake Hutt now comes in a smaller size?"

Lol.. Great statement.

Can I get fries with that?

There want be any mention of the fraud case unless it is all over the local media in a big way. The talks will be geared more towards keeping the faith, doubt your doubts, the devil is everywhere, persecution is among us, study the scriptures daily and with earnest. They may give another Challenge / command for all members to read the BOM like hinkster did several years ago. Stay focused on the church and church members and trust in the profit and local leadership. The church will not lead you astray. God has a plan and is guiding this ship, although we may not understand it all we must stay the course as all will be answered in the end and you will be greatly rewarded in the CK for your faith and strength in the fight for gods true church. O' and all must pay your tithing for god loves a cheerful giver.

I predict they'll mention some kind of alternative service for handi-abled (dis-advantaged, developmentally delayed) people.


they've skirted this issue for too long!

Maybe even endorse the Special Olympics.