iUrim and iThummim are okay smart phones. The only music available is the Mo Tab Choir, and God is the only person you can call. I hear the Old Man was really tweaked off when he found out 30% of all sales had to go to Steve Jobs. He had to raise tithing from 5% to 10% to cover the additional cost. It ain't cheap running a Celestial Kingdom. All the workers are so lazy. The only time you see them move is on free buffet nights at the Terrestrial Chuck-A-Rama. Finding a table is a nightmare on Conference weekends.

Of course, after the "polygamy" bug was found in the iRevelation app there had to be a recall. Too bad the new ones aren't coming out for a few more millennia. Hopefully they will support Verizon, AT&T's cell coverage in the Telestial belt is worse than Hell.