There's just so much I want to say. He was kind, smart and funny. I love him the most and I am beyond sad. That hurts enough but I'm also hurt and angry because of our fucked up clueless selfish family! They tried to turn his death into a Mormon Show starring them. My brother was gay. He hated the LDS church. Thank dog his boyfriend, even though he's emotionally and physically broken,,was able to shame (and threaten) them into backing down. No LDs funeral. Even though "he was born Mormon!!!!! Waaaaaahhhhhhhh" according to my fake-distraught crazy bitch of a mother. No. He was born gay and you tried to turn him mormon and it didn't take so fuck off, is what he told them. There's so much more to this story. He was my twin brother. He was my rock. Growing up we always felt like it was us against them. He was so funny. I'm I hate that my two little girls won't really remember him. When they were born he called them Thing1 and Thing2. It sounds bad but it was funny.I hate that he was only 27. I hate that it was a stupid accident. I hate that I miss him and I will miss him forever. (My husband has been great and I'm so thankful). I would like to share his wonderfulness with all of you. I don't post often but I lurk. It's just so bad right now.he made me laugh everyday. Even when it was just a text or snapchat. I hope you'll want to hear all the good stuff. He's a very funny ex-mo

I am so sorry. I just can't image the pain of losing your twin. Of course we all want to hear whatever you want or need to share.

Thank-you for sharing your wonderful brother with me. He sounds like a very special guy. I'm glad you got to have some time with him and that you were very close. I'm also glad to hear that he got to live his own authentic life. (((((Hugs))))

I'm so sorry.

That is a pain I have no reference for.

I just can't imagine.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sending you hugs across the miles to where ever you are. I am so sorry for you terrible loss.

pain like that is unexplainable.

he will be in your heart forever! And you can keep him in your children's memories by telling them stories of him.

No mormon funeral. Good for him! At least you don't have to go through the frustration of that.

There are not enough tears on this earth to cry over a loss like this.
And I am so so sorry.

Thank you for sharing him with us.

I'm sorry for your loss, especially him being your twin brother and being so young! I'm glad your brother had such a strong advocate in his bf. Hopefully that took some of the pressure off of you in trying to defend him, and in having an acceptable funeral for him! I'm sorry for you pain!

Condolences on your loss. Sympathies for the family situation that is makes it hurt more.

I'm so sorry, it must feel terrible and bewildering to lose someone who was so important in your life. I'm sorry your family went nuts. I hope you can find some peace. Please share again if you feel the need.

My heart is breaking for you, CC. That is so tragic and your love for your brother comes through loud and clear. Virtual hugs to you. I know the only thing that will even begin to heal this wound is time and that you will always have a scar there where he should have been. May time and your friends be good to you. I know we would have loved your brother.

Please tell your story and share your story-here or somewhere else-it sounds like one of the best ways you will be able to honor his life and to have your girls know him like your knew him--there is no one more qualified than you--someone who loved him unconditionally. Thank you for coming here to share this, our hearts go out to you.

So sorry for your loss. My partner and I have been together for over 20 years, and I've always had a lurking fear that something like this could happen to me. I asked to be ex-ed more than 30 years ago (nobody ever heard of resigning then).

My family now knows that whatever decisions are made, should something happen to me, are in my partner's hands. And I've taken comfort, too, in learning recently that once you are ex-ed, it takes approval from TFP for posthumous re-baptism and endowment work to be done.

My favorite line in your post "He was born gay and you tried to turn him mormon"...

Mormons have it backwards - Mormon is a choice, your sexual orientation is NOT.

I wish you peace.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/18/2014 05:26PM by postpostmormon.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I am sorry for your loss.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I also am a twin sister and have a twin brother. I cannot imagine my life without him in it. You and I both know there is a special bond between twins, a closeness and an understanding that goes beyond our other sibling relationships. This is such a grievous loss for you. I am so sorry for the pain and sorrow you are now experiencing. You are so young and you both had so much of life to share together, but you had 27 years and I know you must be so grateful for those years. The pain is always bad when losing a loved one, but to a stupid accident, as you say, must be unendingly difficult for you. Please get some grief counseling and take good care of YOU. So glad you have a supportive husband by your side. Your twin sounds like a funny and awesome human being. Know that if you loved him this way, he surely loved you very much. He knows that you loved him! Please accept my deepest and sincere sympathies. I embrace you now across the miles. Be gentle with yourself in the coming days and weeks.

I'm sorry for your loss. I haven't lost a sibling or parent yet, so I can't even imagine how hard it must be.

Your brother's boyfriend sounds like an awesome dude with balls of steel. I'm glad that he took a stand and that a mormon gospel principles class won't be taking place in lieu of your brother's funeral. Mormon funerals are so empty.

My heart goes out to you, honey.

Getting organized to preserve those wonderful memories will ease the pain of your grief and give you something to do "for him."

Make a book for your girls and write down the memories- especially the ones that make you cry. You'll bawl as you write, but pouring out your aching heart is exactly what you need to do.

This process helps turn memories that burn into stars that shine in the sky - and insure that your wonderful twin will never be forgotten.


anagrammy

*Hugs*

Your brother was gay. But from little bit you wrote, he was much, much more. A loving, kind, sharp-witted, warm human being taken in his prime.

And grieving is good. Including the angry part. Don't deny yourself of your needed emotional healing. Sounds to me that, except for his boyfriend, you were the closest person to him. This isn't going to be easy for you. Maybe think about seeing a counselor to process your feelings? Just a thought...

And I'm so sorry for your loss. Life is so fickle and ephemeral and unfair.

(And you're mom is a dipshit BTW, sorry.)

Big fat HUGS for you! Two of my kids are twins. Older and married. I can't imagine how one could deal with losing the other. The closeness is incredible. So sorry for your loss.

Thanks to all of you! I really feel better. I've been thinking about the truly funny, LDS-related antics that my brother Schmo (that's what I called him) took such devious delight in. I would like to share the story of the Mormon themed Halloween party hosted by Schmo and his amazing BF (who Schmo called Big Thor -- because he's Norwegian -- lol). Big Thor forwarded photos to my mom with the promise that "all of Schmo's friends would show up in your crappy little town to go to the joke of a funeral and they'd be sure to be super extra gay -- and wear their costumes!". No LDS service. My sweet brother would have been so proud. I'll write about the party soon. It will be therapy. Thanks again. I feel the love.

So sorry this pain is yours. You had a great brother and he had a great sister.

When you are ready I'm looking forward to hearing about the party.

((((HUGS))))

I cannot imagine the pain of losing him. We have been close since he was born and life would suck so much without him.

I'm Sorry to hear your brother is gone......
What a story.

My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry that your brother is gone from you. Thank you for sharing with us a little about him. You were lucky to have him, as he was to have you. xo

Thanks for sharing your memories of him. He sounds like a wonderful person.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/18/2014 04:44PM by donbagley.

Thank you for writing on this site. I am so sorry for your loss.
It will hurt for quite a while but if you share your happy memories about him the pain will ease and a smile will fill your heart and appear on your face. Good thoughts are good for you. Loads of warm hugs to you and those that really loved your brother

I am so sorry for your loss. Having been through the grief process when my only son died ten years ago in a car accident, I can tell you that it will eventually not hurt quite so much all the time.

Cry when you need to. Drink lots of water. Talk about your brother to anyone who will listen.

Breathe. Take one day and even one minute at a time until you can deal with your grief a little better. Don't let anybody tell you to "get over it" because you NEVER will. And that's okay.

Much love,
Rachel

I am so sorry. I can't imagine how hard that must be. Please share whatever you like.

It sounds like both of you are fabulous people. You had lots of great times with him. You were lucky to have him. And he was lucky to have you!
Try to remain friends with his partner....and I am SOOO happy that he didn't have a TBM funeral. That would have sucked so bad.
Your memories are going to keep him real for your girls. Talk about him often just like you are doing here.
I feel like I knew him a bit and I really wish I had known him for real. He sounds like a very fun and sincere person. You do too! Some people never have a great relationship with their brother/sister that is great. I am happy you did. I am sorry it was too short. Keep him next to your heart.

You might also consider starting a blog about schmo and his antics.

I think it would be healing for you and help others. You can report the blogs right here and we will love it, but over time the posts will disappear.

Your blog will stay up for years and you can print any time you want and make an album including photos.

I am SO GLAD you feel the love.


Ana