Posted by:
SusieQ#1
(
)
Date: February 23, 2011 02:31AM
(This post includes some comments from prior posts.)
When your religion is your identity ----
This is because, as I often say, the best way to understand
Mormonism is as a patriarchal, generational, familial, social, traditional, cultural, ritual, religious tribe complete with it's own music, language, (Mormonese!), unwritten rules, policies,special teachings,with emphasis on obedience.
It includes: individual dress, what they eat and drink, how they spend their time and money--every facet of their life-- from what they think to what they feel to what they believe, what they read, and even what movies they watch. It is a 24/7 religion complete with regulation underwear for those "worthy" to attend the temple.
They have specific rituals/ordinances for birth, coming of age, marriage and death. It all follows a similar pattern in most religions of the world. The rituals and teachings are different, but the pattern or components are the same or similar.
It started out as a small tribe in New York, then moved to other states, and eventually, cemented as a tribe in isolation in Utah by Brigham Young. They even use that term from time to time.As a convert, I was told it was my adopted tribe.
Leaving it is,in essence, leaving your tribe.
You become the outsider. Your support system is gone. Family, business, career, etc. may be gone also.
That, in my experience and observation, accounts for how difficult it is to leave it completely.
Not accepting the claims/beliefs (or any other facet), is not all there is to it. It is only the first step.
It requires learning to identify the authentic: you, and creating a whole new World View from scratch.
It includes rewriting every single automatic thinking script from childhood if BIC, or as a convert, from years of subtle teachings. It means finding a new normal, a different language, changing a wardrobe, being willing to step out in a whole new world, experiment with many notions/ideas, music, movies, literature, much of it not acceptable in Mormonism.
Leaving Mormonism requires courage, tenacity, perseverance, steadfastness and a willingness to give ourselves permission to take our power back, which is new to many. It includes: ditching guilt and shame, and fear. It includes making all decisions and choices in your life on your own.And learning to be OK with that.
For me, that includes learning some new skills, one of which is learning to be a skeptic, a good researcher (ignoring tone and bias) and getting to the factual evidence and information, learning to set new clear boundaries, etc.
That is why I call it an Exit Process from Mormonism. It's a process, that for some, takes a short time, but for others can take years.
In my experience, that process includes learning to live in the now, today, letting go of the past, rather than living for some reward in an after life.
Yes. As a member of the LDS Church, the members whole identity is wrapped up in the cloak of the tribe.
That is why I often use this quote:
"The individual has always had to struggle to resist the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."
--Nietzsche
This is how I work my process.Each of us finds our own path in our exit process from Mormonism. There is no manual. We figure it out by trial and error. We each have a different set of dynamics and personalities and situations to work through. No two, are exactly the same. I am convinced that we are all well equipped to figure it out ourselves - with a little help from our friends, as they say! And so it goes.....