I've recently started reading this forum again and reading more historical accounts related to the church. I resigned 2 years ago. BIC and RM. Family all perfect Mormons.

I didn't think about the church for most of the past 2 years but I found out about the legal case in the UK last week and I also went to an LDS baby blessing last week. Now I feel very passionately about helping my family to leave the church.

Is this wrong? What ethical implications are there in this scenario? Should I let them live happily in their cult or is it my duty to work hard to get them out?

As an RfM I don't believe you have duties any more.

Live a genuine life, that's my opinion.

Getting angry....first off not easy....second causes loads of problems when trying

in all likelyhood, you wont be able to change their emotionally motivated beliefs,especially without hurting your relationship with them. The truth is already obviously brford them, but they require a change in heart in order the accept the truth. Depending on their age, it might not even be possible. Once one reaches their early to mid 30s their attitudes are pretty much set in stone unless something very life changing happens to them, like war, winning the lottery, or getting excommunicated and losing ones family.

the best thing that you can do is be an example for them. Invite them to do activities with you that engage them with non mormons. You could try going to a Unitariarian Universalist church and ask them if they would like to accompany you for one Sunday. It might get them thinking without you, personally insulting their pride with truth.

"Once one reaches their early to mid 30s their attitudes are pretty much set in stone unless something very life changing happens to them, like war, winning the lottery, or getting excommunicated and losing ones family."

That ain't necessarily true. I was 34 and a bishop's counselor when I began having doubts, and my doubts came from observing the incompetence and lack of "inspiration" of other church leaders. It was those experiences that caused me to resign my calling, and eventually ask myself "Just exactly what IS this organization that I have dedicated my life to?" Those thoughts spurred me to begin reading about the origins of the church. It only took a few weeks of reading to realize that it was all made up.

BIG IF, if there is an afterlife, I would wanting them to ask why I didn't try harder to tell them of my discovery, to my reply, you thought you were better than me!

Leave them alone.

Unfortunately, we can't control what others think or do. The best we can do is to be there for them if they have doubts or questions.

Trying to force the issue usually backfires.

My experience was that when I tried being an exmo missionary to the family that is still LDS I created a lot of antagonism that still affects our relationship even though I quit doing that a couple years go. There used to be a cool little science fiction show called "Lost in Space". There was a cheesy robot that would accompany the teen age boy and when there was something bad around it would warn him "Danger. Danger Will Robinson".

So what I've learned is Mormons have a robot in their brains and when you present them with information that threatens their testimony it goes "Danger! Danger!". You become a threat and then they get angry at you. Danger! Danger! Kill the messenger! Stop unauthorized thoughts. But the thing is, they are still family and you'll find in your life that is more important than trying to bring them around. My LDS family are great people and I decided I didn't want them hating on me so I quit trying to influence them. They know where I stand. That's enough.

A Catholic friend was joking about his Catholic belief. He said "I'd rather be Catholic than right". He was laughing but that about covers it.

Fight with your feet - meaning walk away from TSCC.

If any of your TBMs want to talk about why you've left, tell them the truth and leave it at that.

Those who "have ears, let them hear" and they'll recognize the truth and follow you out. Don't forget to love & respect everyone.

That's what I'd do if I were you.

Do we have an ethical obligation to de-convert others?

You can certainly make an argument for that, BUT it most often backfires. You just make them double down in their belief and they think badly of you.

My new game plan:

If anyone brings up anything about the church stop them, inform them I'm not interested because I KNOW it's a scam. NO details leave it at that.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/24/2014 11:02AM by crom.

They think nothing of attempting to convert others. It's really asking for it.
That said, I can't say I've had any success deconverting anyone. I have had a mormon smear campaign started about me all because I stumbled upon the truth and asked some incredulous questions as a dedicated "inactive".

"take your passion, and make it happen" -flashdance