Posted by:
CA girl
(
)
Date: March 25, 2014 10:58AM
In response to the following blog post currently going around FB, I've made a list of Five Things EX-Mormons Wish You Knew.
1. We didn't leave because we are offended. Or lazy or want to sin. We all left for one reason - we don't believe in Mormonism any more. Maybe because of what we learned about the history or doctrine or lifestyle of Mormonism, we came to the decision that we couldn't, in good conscience, continue with the Mormon faith. To say anything else is to be in danger of bearing false witness against your neighbor. Unless an ex-Mormon said, to your face, that they left for one of the above reasons, you shouldn't use derogatory terms that do not apply. Imagine if someone used such terms to describe why you chose to be Mormon.
2. Disagreeing with your religious beliefs does not mean we hate you, we want to destroy your religion, or we are angry ex-Mormons. We just don't agree with you. Adults can agree to disagree without seeing it as an attack. We understand why you think we are angry - we must seem that way when we get frustrated that you won't just leave us alone to live our beliefs the way you want to be left alone to live yours. We don't feel loved by your constant pestering, paper plates full of cookies or refusal to take no for an answer. We feel stalked and harassed. Stay friends with us, by all means, but accept us and don't try to change us. Would YOU want to hang out with people who were trying to save you from Mormonism all the time?
3. We know as much or more about Mormonism than you do. An increasing number of Ex-Mormons have served missions, graduated from BYU, served as Relief Society Presidents and Bishops. To treat us like we forgot everything we learned in decades of the church attendance is insulting and misguided. And you don't know as much about your church as you think you do. Every exmo has had multiple occasions where they have presented a Mormon with facts from church publications and been accused of sharing anti-Mormon information. Just because YOU don't know something about your church (or were never taught certain things) it doesn't mean it's anti-Mormon. If a former Mormon points out something to you, it's a simple matter to research and see if it's true or false. Because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if information is Pro-Mormon or Anti-Mormon. It only matters if it's TRUE.
4. You aren't making the impression on outsiders that you think you are. One of the things that shocked me most upon leaving Mormonism is finding out what people REALLY think of Mormons. Mormons spend all their time at church being told their standards are high, their values are special, that they are a light unto the world and that people would want to be like them, if only they knew how. This is profoundly untrue. Mormons individually may be very nice and they are undeniably trying very hard to present a good image for their church. But because they don't take feedback (thinking it's an anti-Mormon attack whenever anyone disagrees) they are falling on their face in the positive public image department. Your good intentions are not translating to good actions so YOU need to reassess your behavior and see where YOU are going wrong. Hint: Whining "But Mormons are NICE people" isn't convincing anyone.
5. Don't say Mormonism is NOT a cult unless you know exactly what a cult is. There are plenty of websites that define the 10-12 characteristics of cults. If your church has those qualities, you are in a cult whether you know it or not. People think Mormonism is a cult because the MEMBERS make it look cultish. Constant recruiting is a cult technique so if you are friendly with people only to "share the gospel" with them, then drop them when they don't convert, you are going to make your church seem like a cult. Worshipping a central leader is also a cult characteristic so getting on your blog or Facebook and waxing poetic about your love of the prophet will also make people assume you are in a cult. You get the idea. If you are convinced your church is not a cult, maybe you should find out what IS a cult and make sure you don't give people the wrong impression.
When making a big purchase, writing a newspaper article, publishing a textbook or choosing a religion, it NEVER is a good idea to just read one side of the story. Of COURSE the Ford dealership wants you to only listen to their information when shopping for a truck. That never pays off. You need to listen to the pro, the con and the neutral information whenever trying to understand history or create a future. Only listening to product advice from people selling the product will get you taken advantage of every. single. time. You need to listen to all sides and then decide.
Oh, and by the way, control of the information - only letting people get information about your group from group members - is one of the defining characteristics of a cult.
Original article:
http://wordygertie.com/2014/03/20/5-things-this-mormon-wish-you-knew/